User Tag List

First 456

Results 51 to 58 of 58

  1. #51
    Senior Member sketchymcsketcherson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    106

    Default

    I rarely desire to be intentionally mean to someone unless they really, truly hurt me. The problem with having Fi combined with Ne is that I usually don't talk things out with people, and I try to "read" between the lines of what the person said or did. And when someone wrongs me (sometimes unintentionally), it hurts me deeply.

    What's worse, I hold grudges. Little doubts about people's actions grow and nag me. If you cause me enough pain, I will, quite frankly, be unable to forgive and forget. I'll try to read into the situation from countless different angles.

    Why did you do it? Was it me? Was it you? Will you do it again? I've seen previous behavior that suggested that was coming. Should I forgive you?

    It sometimes takes me weeks to forget damage caused by someone I trusted, and that is only because the stresses of everyday life distract me. If I'm alone in my thoughts, sometimes the wrongdoing will jump back into my primary memory, and I'll remember everything about the infraction. I'll remember your face, I'll remember the exact words you said, and I'll feel the same, stabbing pain I felt weeks ago.

    That's why an NF can be so mean. We know immense amounts about those we trust and love. That means when we are betrayed by those who hold this sacred position in our lives, the pain is that much more intense.

    When lashing out in response to emotional pain, NFs can customize their attacks to be like a spike in the sweet spot. It's a relief to see someone visibly shaken after one of these retaliations. It feels good to know that the world of hurt you feel inside that no one else really understands the magnitude of has been somewhat channeled to the offender.

    Problem is, in the "calm after the storm," when you both take a step back and look at each other after the attack(s), then the remorse sets in. I feel bad after making someone tear up with a well-placed, personal attack, no matter how deserving.

    Happy NF friend == loyal, caring, kind
    Wronged NF friend == hurt, untrusting, sad
    For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity to exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable: intoxication. -- Friedrich Nietzsche

  2. #52
    Junior Member Ghetto_mocha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    17

    Default

    By covering up their true feelings with a lenient smile, letting that build up, and exploding over something trivial rather than dealing with the real issue.
    The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.- Carl Jung
    Life does not stop and start at your convenience, you miserable piece of shit!- Walter Sobchak

  3. #53
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    7

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    But as I viewed him from this perspective, instead I totally forgave him for every hurt he ever had done to me. All of that potential for destruction and pain to another? Totally held in check by these weird invisible strings of "do no harm to others".

    Hurting others=bad.
    I love this--yes, this is why the question comes up, "How can an NF be mean?"

    I can be ruthless under the correct circumstances, though. If you're hurting someone else with undeserved malicious intent, you had better run when I show up.

    Also if I'm on a narrow focus to do something my moral code compels me to do, I tend to skip niceties.

  4. #54
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2010
    MBTI
    infp
    Posts
    64

    Default

    sometimes i think i'm mean at my core. i get angry and irritated with people just like everyone else.. i'm just not very expressive about it. conflict is too stressful so i just avoid it any way i can.
    i very rarely will snap back at someone who pisses me off but it's usually really vicious. i always feel terrible about it after, though.

    everyone always tells me i'm really nice, but it is one of the things i worry about the most. i really want to be a nice and good person, but sometimes i think deep down i'm just an asshole.

  5. #55
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    isfp
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    8,595

    Default

    I think for being the "nicest" sort of person it would help to be an extrovert. I tire too quickly of people and then what good is that in terms of helping them?

    I generally have a distanced way of viewing people, each one like a wave on a lake that is acted upon by other waves. Sometimes I get frustrated when I can see someone hurting or embarrassing other people, and there is this thick wall there. Sometimes I get frustrated and say something really blunt to try to resonate through that wall. Sometimes I've said something to reflect towards them the sort of hurt they are causing others in hopes they will wake up. I don't think I hate anyone, but have felt frustration at thick-headedness like that. Then I once again realize they are just another reactive Being. Each person is what humanity looks like when subjected to a certain set of conditions. Humanity looks like me from my set of conditions, and it looks like you from your set of conditions, and it looks like a tyrant from another set of conditions. It's all connected which is at once the most depressing concept imaginable, but occasionally comforting.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  6. #56
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    INfj
    Enneagram
    451 sx/so
    Socionics
    ENFj Ni
    Posts
    5,651

    Default

    Fs, when functioning normally and not grappling with any major issues, are usually warmer than Ts functioning normally. But if the F type is struggling in any way, or the T type is doing well, the T oftentimes seems warmer and more considerate. I find that when anyone puts up a wall, F or T, they can start down that 'mean' road, depending on the circumstances that follow.

    Furthermore in F types, Fi feels moody and aloof when its stressing. Fe feels manipulative and callous when its stressing; it's a bit different. I think when T types stress it's just feels more socially apathetic, like they don't even have the time of day to be bothered at all.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
    4w5 5w4 1w9
    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  7. #57
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    950

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    This happens when I care more about truth or things being done right than the possibility of hurting someone's feelings.
    +1

    I try to be considerate of people's feelings. But I also try to do what is R-ight (that's Fi for you). If I get to the point of caring more about being right than hurting your feelings, you better watch out. I call this personal phenomenon "pulling out the knife." And though I don't do it very often, when I do do it, it can hurt the recipient like hell... but is usually well deserved.

    Is this mean? In my mind, there is a difference between telling someone something they are not going to like but need to hear; and hurting someone just because you are thoughtless or you get off on hurting other people. The latter is mean. The former is.... well, I'm not sure unpleasant is the same as mean. So I'd don't know what I'd call it. Perhaps karmic re-balancing.

  8. #58
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    STP
    Posts
    10,501

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    Fs, when functioning normally and not grappling with any major issues, are usually warmer than Ts functioning normally. But if the F type is struggling in any way, or the T type is doing well, the T oftentimes seems warmer and more considerate. I find that when anyone puts up a wall, F or T, they can start down that 'mean' road, depending on the circumstances that follow.

    Furthermore in F types, Fi feels moody and aloof when its stressing. Fe feels manipulative and callous when its stressing; it's a bit different. I think when T types stress it's just feels more socially apathetic, like they don't even have the time of day to be bothered at all.
    +1
    Im out, its been fun

Similar Threads

  1. How can inferior functions be developed?
    By GZA in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 04-12-2011, 07:32 AM
  2. [NT] How can an NT be stupid?
    By goodgrief in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 58
    Last Post: 05-20-2010, 03:59 AM
  3. [MBTItm] How can an INFJ win an ESFJ's heart?
    By Queen Kat in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: 05-03-2009, 07:46 AM
  4. Can An ENTP Be Like This?
    By Mondo in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 01-04-2009, 09:31 AM
  5. How can you still be undecided?
    By Angry Ayrab in forum Politics, History, and Current Events
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: 10-02-2008, 01:21 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO