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  1. #21
    Senior Member ilovereeses's Avatar
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    I can be very mean internally, but rarely does it hit the surface; It takes a lot. I prefer to ignore/avoid whatever is pissing me off.
    eNFP 9w8 sx/sp

    ~Don't ignore the truth, it will set you free.

    ~10% of life is what happens to you, 90% of life is how you deal with it.

  2. #22
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    "How can an NF not get a copycat thread? Click here and find out!"

  3. #23
    Senior Member Yloh's Avatar
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    Being mean isn't very hard at all. The thing is, being mean is totally against my nature. When somebody as really hurt me, I tend to focus all of my positive energy into a destructive energy. Instead of finding your strengths and encouraging you, I will remember your weaknesses and tear you apart.

    Everybody is capable of being mean. Some people are just mean more often, while others prefer not to be mean.

  4. #24
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    Some of the biggest asshats I've known (and literally been shocked at their meanness) have been NFs

  5. #25
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HotpinkHeatwave View Post
    Same.

    However, if they cross the line and do something I CANNOT ignore, I will confront them. I will confront them quite angrily at that, with a force to be reckoned with. It is rare that I do this, but when I do.. Get out of the way.
    Bitchslap. yes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yloh View Post
    Being mean isn't very hard at all. The thing is, being mean is totally against my nature. When somebody as really hurt me, I tend to focus all of my positive energy into a destructive energy. Instead of finding your strengths and encouraging you, I will remember your weaknesses and tear you apart.

    Everybody is capable of being mean. Some people are just mean more often, while others prefer not to be mean.
    I often have felt in the past as though I was part angel and part evil monster. Inside of me is a force that is very powerful and destructive. I can dissect people into tiny little fragments and then reconstruct them and identify all of their weaknesses.

    As an example, last year I liked an ENTP. He hurt my feelings very badly. I identified the relevant patterns, identified exactly the right phrases that would untie the fairly loose threads that are his self esteem. I dissected him. It was like he was drawn out, pinned down in front of me and I could see every weakness he had. The dark aspect inside of me knew exactly what to do.

    But as I viewed him from this perspective, instead I totally forgave him for every hurt he ever had done to me. All of that potential for destruction and pain to another? Totally held in check by these weird invisible strings of "do no harm to others". To hurt others is wrong. I know I hurt others by absent minded neglect or sometimes by the above bitchslap lashing out-rare but loud.

    When I have hurt people via the bitchslap? I will end up reflecting back their perceived pain over and over again and magnifying it-this is horrifying as I cant forgive myself very well, so I get trapped in cycles of terrible guilt and pain.

    Hurting others=bad.

  6. #26
    Senior Member MafiaAngel180's Avatar
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    This a difficult one. Mean is subjective. I know many wah-wah types that cry over EVERYTHING. They think it's mean to stand up for yourself; take back food to a restaraunt; complain to customer service; or make any waves whatsoever.

    I feel like an advocate. I was always in Human Resources standing up for me and my fellow employees. People saw that as mean. Or as difficult. Whatever.

    ****When I feel people are being really stupid, I become sarcastic and use my intelligence as a way of making them feel stupid. So yeah, I would say that one is mean. (This does not sit well with me.)

    But the biggest thing I do is make nasty faces. I am full of expression by nature. And people will just tell that they make me sick.

    And even after it's all said and done. I feel like complete crap. Because I can see the good in even the biggest a-holes. So then I feel guilty.

    Also...I don't do this all the time. It doesn't come easy to me...especially to be confrontational. It all makes me sick.

  7. #27
    Senior Member mr.awesome's Avatar
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    it happens quite a bit. although we can be understanding and compassionate, for me anyway, i sort of have presets, so to say, of what to expect from certain people in certain situations. i feel like due to my understanding and good listener nature people trust me. and whatever feedback i give them i often have a heavy influence on them. from everyday conversation to life altering decisions. and if i cannot manipulate people the right way to get to preferred outcome i see fit for them, i feel cheated and disrespected. its a terribly selfish thing, i know. this may not be type influenced at all, but thats something that often sets off me personally.

    i am short tempered. im too passive to do anything about my negative feelings though.
    when im upset ill just isolate myself from people and if socialization is a must i often end up giving people alot of blank stares and terribly short and rude remarks.
    my etsy Morphochroma

    I know you think I'm crazy,
    but most people they can't tell.

  8. #28
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    What with N giving them unique insight into meaning and the ability to see multiple perspectives and F giving them consideration for others, how can someone honestly be anything other than the most virtuous of saints?
    F doesn't give you consideration for others, it gives you a better framework with which to be considerate of others. Also, as much as N can give insite into multiple perspectives for good, it can do so for evil as well. F with N can also help you pin point the raw nerves of another. Such knowledge can be used to protect or to hard depending on the key desire of the NF. You give the combination too much credit for benevolence.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #29
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    This thread is terrifying.
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

    Quinlan's Creations

  10. #30
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    It's making me question my type.

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