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Thread: INFJackasses?

  1. #41
    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
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    I'm the only one I know IRL. No one has ever told me this, but I suspect that one of my negative traits is that I can come off like a know-it-all at certain times. Recently I realized this when I was replaying a certain conversation in my mind. I do not like know-it-alls and it bothers me a lot to think I was acting like one. Now that I realize this I am careful not to act in that way which I don't like and which can make others feel bad.


    /drama queen
    I have heard the martyr complaint about INFJs before on this site. It really hurts but I guess I will just silently bear it!!
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  2. #42
    Senior Member ilovereeses's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vasilisa View Post
    I have heard the martyr complaint about INFJs before on this site. It really hurts but I guess I will just silently bear it!!
    j/k
    aww, we still love you!!!
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  3. #43
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vasilisa View Post

    /drama queen
    I have heard the martyr complaint about INFJs before on this site. It really hurts but I guess I will just silently bear it!!
    j/k
    The one I am with exhibits martyr behavior..deeply concerning to me because I don't really think she even knows she does it.

    Also she nags me sometimes 'til the point of noticeable irritation..which is understandable..then engages in a blame campaign about how so dramatic I am when it's really just annoying after so much nagging and no apparent end to it. What do you INFJ's think about this-I mean what is going on..it's like it's made to not end until there's an emotional conflict :/

    And I thought INFJs were so empathic and not one to go about stepping on others feelings..Am I right? Or is there a dark side I don't know about.

    Perpelexed.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
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  4. #44
    Ginkgo
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    If I was an INFJ I wouldn't post here because it's likely to affirm the OPs distorted prejudice against them, no matter what you say.

  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avatar7 View Post
    Any annoying attitudes from INFJs?
    For example, Things they think they know but turns out they really just can't keep up with you and would be nice if they threw that cocky attitude in the trash can and just asked you or someone for what they didn't know? I realize it's not true of mature INFJs.
    No.

  6. #46
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avatar7 View Post
    The one I am with exhibits martyr behavior..deeply concerning to me because I don't really think she even knows she does it.

    Also she nags me sometimes 'til the point of noticeable irritation..which is understandable..then engages in a blame campaign about how so dramatic I am when it's really just annoying after so much nagging and no apparent end to it. What do you INFJ's think about this-I mean what is going on..it's like it's made to not end until there's an emotional conflict :/

    And I thought INFJs were so empathic and not one to go about stepping on others feelings..Am I right? Or is there a dark side I don't know about.

    Perpelexed.
    Everyone steps on someone else's feelings in some way. I do wonder though, why you are still with this woman that you have been so clearly annoyed with and hurt by for quite awhile now. Or have you gone through a string of messed up INFJs? I think that within any one type, you'll always find a broad range of behaviours and attitudes. It's likely that the type of unhealthy behaviours within any particular type might be someone more predictable, but merely being one type doesn't guarantee that all people of that type have certain wonderful qualities, any more than it necessarily means they have certain terrible ones.

  7. #47
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avatar7 View Post
    The one I am with exhibits martyr behavior..deeply concerning to me because I don't really think she even knows she does it.

    Also she nags me sometimes 'til the point of noticeable irritation..which is understandable..then engages in a blame campaign about how so dramatic I am when it's really just annoying after so much nagging and no apparent end to it. What do you INFJ's think about this-I mean what is going on..it's like it's made to not end until there's an emotional conflict :/

    And I thought INFJs were so empathic and not one to go about stepping on others feelings..Am I right? Or is there a dark side I don't know about.

    Perpelexed.

    I know for one that once an INFJ starts nagging excessively to you, it's surely a sign that that person had done something prior to upset us (usually criticism, constructive or not)--yet we didn't want to reveal it directly but decided to pick every minor thing which we can think of--to irk you (which is something I'm trying hard to fix it).

    Side-question to ENFPs: Please do not take it personally, I just happened to notice that most ENFPs has the same tendency of a need to release their disappointment through criticism, yet I found most would rather complain it to their close patriots, instead of venting it out directly to the same person. I've seen in numerous occasions where ENFPs show their frustrations on others with their close and most trusted friends.

    What do you think, my fellow ENFPs?

  8. #48
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Though I'm not entirey familiar with ISFPs, but I have to say they are very good at bottling it all up and rarely show any upsetting emotions to others. Though they seem to be good at door-slamming without any regrets when things hitted on the rooftop.

  9. #49
    Senior Member MonkeyGrass's Avatar
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    I tend to get intensely stubborn about stupid details (which I freely admit are usually a crap shoot for me ) when I'm under extreme emotional stress or really, really over tired. I usually realize I'm wrong while I'm doing it, and my mouth keeps moving and I'm inwardly groaning at how ignorant I sound. This happens, maybe, four times a year, but when I was much younger, it was frequent, and usually because I didn't feel needed/admired/respected for my thoughts in the relationship. I think it's a maturity issue, and not one unique to INFJs.

    You don't sound as if you're enjoying the relationship much at all! Which kind of begs the question...
    I think I think more than you think I think.

  10. #50
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Yeah, under emotional duress, I become more rigid when things I counted on get changed. I have little flare-ups (either internally, or in a restrained way externally with a lot of grumbling that is emotionally charged) over things that normally I could get over right away or in about 10 minutes. It's like I need to know that I can count on certain things not to change and when they do, I get uncharacteristically upset over it.

    I also tend to get that way when small incidents start forming a negative pattern. I realize that those small issues actually have more underlying meaning, but I'm not sure at which point to be sure that I'm not seeing it unfairly, or which small issue to make a big deal over, so I just get more easily annoyed/hurt/irritated/sad until it comes to a head. I don't like being that way, and ironically the reason I don't bring it up right away is that verbalizing it somehow means that I am committing to an interpretation of events that may be unreasonable or incorrect. I also am reluctant to verbalize something when I haven't figured out a course of action to deal with it, or haven't determined what response I might expect if I do say something. This is dicey though, because sometimes I underestimate the depth of emotion I'm feeling and it spills out in an embarrassing way at an inopportune time, making me seem exactly what I am trying to avoid - emotional and unreasonable. There is almost nothing worse for me than ending up crying in front of someone over an issue like that and feeling that I made a mess of making my case and also behaved in an embarrassing way besides. I feel like I have lost credibility and I usually apologize too quickly, making the other person believe that I'm just manipulating their emotions or that it wasn't that big of a deal anyway, which it really was.

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