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View Poll Results: How often do you "fake" your external feelings to persuade others?

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  • A lot.

    3 18.75%
  • Some.

    4 25.00%
  • Rarely.

    8 50.00%
  • Never.

    1 6.25%
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  1. #1
    Probably Most Brilliant Craft's Avatar
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    Default ENFP's, how much do you try to affect people's feelings?

    Manipulate or for the sake of changing their opinions?

  2. #2
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    I think, this is what separates me from most ENFJs I know. They are FAR much more socially graceful than me (but that's just me- can't speak for other ENFPs).

    I have a problem with keeping my mouth shut at times. I express my feelings as a feel them. It makes me feel authentic, and sometimes, it's a foot-in-the mouth.

    I say things that I mean, and I mean what I say.

    If I'm trying to convince others of something, I say it as is. Sometimes it may not be as refined as I wish it could be, and I have a problem with being nice bc I have to. If I compliment or say something, it's usually from the heart. I'm not good at bureaucratic stuff, and I know that's a problem I need to work on, bc I've been told so. I'm just me, and I can't help it. :sad: Uggh..

  3. #3
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i tend to only want peoples genuine feelings....like i wouldn't appreciate someone being nice or going along with me if they didn't want to....giving a gift you don't want to give feels useless to me.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #4
    Probably Most Brilliant Craft's Avatar
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    Thank you both so much.

    I have an ENFP cousin and I'm not sure if he's telling the truth to me or not and whether he's going to betray us and steal the company's money or not. It was him who told me about Typology and I am myself loyal to him but the rumors can be very deceiving. Thank you for your contribution. <----an example of my own Fe perhaps? In addition, is it wise to add personality theory in the equation for judging the "truths" he speaks?

    I don't think it's easy(though possible) for Fi's to manipulatively express hir own feelings and emotions to others. I am prone to judge him as "genuine". (Te doesn't seem as soft as Fe, so I think I could see which he uses.)

    i tend to only want peoples genuine feelings....like i wouldn't appreciate someone being nice or going along with me if they didn't want to....giving a gift you don't want to give feels useless to me.
    How about from yourself? Are you ok with showing "Fake" emotions?

  5. #5
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Craft View Post
    I have an ENFP cousin and I'm not sure if he's telling the truth to me or not and whether he's going to betray us and steal the company's money or not.
    Hmm.. What is his situation like? Is he really that desperate for money to screw family over?

    IDK.. bc I had an ENFP ex who sorta did something that I *thought* was majorly wrong. He was involved in a pyramid scheme, and I can tell from get go that it was shady business. We both didn't know at that time that it was a pyramid scheme. I had my suspicions though, but he didn't listen to me, got sucked in, and tried getting another person sucked in, one of which, the person was an immigrant who didn't have much money to start with.. What hurt me most about what he did was that he had the audacity to take advantage of this guy's hard earned money.. I felt that the way he approached it was kinda crafty. I saw him in a different light, realizing that shit- this guy really is that desperate for money, bc he doesn't have have parents to support him, and his bros/sisters were are brokeass as well.. I got him to give the money back to the guy and say sorry. It still surprises me though.

    Anyway, I think often times, situational factors can cause a person to make poor choices that they normally wouldn't. I mean, who am I to judge him as being 'bad.' Often times, when people lack resources, they may do things that are totally unpredictable, and that would also depend on whether or not that person has role models or people they look up to for guidance or support.

    Perhaps ask him what's up? Touchy topic.. Sorry to hear about that.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Craft View Post
    Are you ok with showing "Fake" emotions?
    What the hell is a fake emotion?

  7. #7
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    no i'm not but i see the benefit in professional situations and in that way i can for a bit but i couldn't have a job that required that of me often....as an example in the middle of a photoshoot i had this horrible mother ruining it because she totally spoils her kid and kept just doing everything wrong...my genuine feeling was my god woman you're making this impossible can you please get the eff out? but...i said...i think she might do better if i talk with her alone...i'm used to this don't worry...you can go hang out in the other room.

    so...whatever that is.


    oh also to comment on the other things you said...one thing that we can be guilty of is championing our ideas w/o much fact to back it up...going with our gut...feeling like we're SURE!! but that's an actual genuine feeling and...we're right enough that we trust ourselves...and we may sometimes overestimate our abilities because we're pretty used to wingin it and doing well.

    so...regarding your situation you may just want to keep that in mind.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #8
    Probably Most Brilliant Craft's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kiddykat View Post
    Hmm.. What is his situation like? Is he really that desperate for money to screw family over?

    IDK.. bc I had an ENFP ex who sorta did something that I *thought* was majorly wrong. He was involved in a pyramid scheme, and I can tell from get go that it was shady business. We both didn't know at that time that it was a pyramid scheme. I had my suspicions though, but he didn't listen to me, got sucked in, and tried getting another person sucked in, one of which, the person was an immigrant who didn't have much money to start with.. What hurt me most about what he did was that he had the audacity to take advantage of this guy's hard earned money.. I felt that the way he approached it was kinda crafty. I saw him in a different light, realizing that shit- this guy really is that desperate for money, bc he doesn't have have parents to support him, and his bros/sisters were are brokeass as well.. I got him to give the money back to the guy and say sorry. It still surprises me though.

    Anyway, I think often times, situational factors can cause a person to make poor choices that they normally wouldn't. I mean, who am I to judge him as being 'bad.' Often times, when people lack resources, they may do things that are totally unpredictable, and that would also depend on whether or not that person has role models or people they look up to for guidance or support.

    Perhaps ask him what's up? Touchy topic.. Sorry to hear about that.
    He's in a decent position but perhaps he could be trying to secure his family. But if that was his only goal, then I will gladly let him.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    What the hell is a fake emotion?
    Emotion that is not truly what you feel. (e.g. a projected smile but hatred beneath)

  9. #9
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    I think anyone can be manipulative, given the conditions of their state of mind and situation, I think. The question is- how smooth can they be at it? I think it takes more practice for some than others.

    Me personally, I would rather not deal with all that, even though I can see that potential in myself, I choose not to go that route, bc it's a waste of precious time, especially since it conflicts with my values.

    On second thoughts- I've acted fake before- with regards of "putting on a happy face" just because the situation doesn't call me acting out on my emotions right then and there. If I'm being lied to to my face, I'll act like I'm okay, play it off, but underneath it all, irritated/mad.. More likely than not, if I were to get this way, it mostly has to do with collecting more information, finding abc reasons why I need to terminate the relationship. Either that, or I act fake, because I'm hiding a surprise (i.e. birthday surprise), but I don't consider that manipulation.

    I would have a talk with him, and back it up with evidence, in case if it is the truth..

    Edit- I would also GRILL him pretty bad..

  10. #10
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Only when I'm sure masking my feelings and expressing 'fake' ones will make for a better outcome for me... Example: Customer service.. I could want to strangle them, but that'll do no good to express that! So I pretend to be polite and play their silly games so I can get what I need to get.

    Another good example is when I'm fighting with family.. going apeshit on them won't do the situation any good.. better to swallow whatever passion I have and deal with the situation is calm mind to diffuse the issue instead of escalating it.
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