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  1. #11
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    If you are sure he is N then based on your description I would say he is ENFJ. What about ESFJ? ESFP?

    Does he do things beforehand or is he always late (J-P difference)?

  2. #12
    Senior Member Lightyear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alcea rosea View Post
    If you are sure he is N then based on your description I would say he is ENFJ. What about ESFJ? ESFP?

    Does he do things beforehand or is he always late (J-P difference)?
    He is definitely not an ESFJ, I don't get a Guardian vibe from him at all. At first glance I was thinking he is an ESFP because he is an explorer type who is into sports like surfing and he likes to keep busy which I thought might be him expressing Se. But ESFPs are not supposed to be into theory and he loves to study, to analyze and to question (he is doing his PhD at the moment), I get the feeling that behind the happy exterior there are quite a few layers (or could that just be an ESFP's Fi?) He once thanked me for having a deep conversation with him about a theoretical subject and he responds well to N-humour which I don't tend to get from other ESFPs.

    He can get things done if he puts his mind to it and if necessary he tends to take on responsibility in a group setting. I am not sure about the J-P difference, once he had to proofread something for me and I wanted to have the piece of writing back at a certain time and he did it on time and he said that the little bit of pressure I put on him and because he had made a promise to me helped him to get it done on time.
    Last edited by Lightyear; 05-03-2010 at 01:32 AM.

  3. #13
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    ^ I would say ENFJ then. Fe seems to be quite strong function in him + some Ni for deep analysis. ?

    ENFP is not necessarily on time even how much s/he'll try to be or no matter what s/he promised.....

  4. #14
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
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    Im always on time. Being late is a pet peeve of mine.

  5. #15
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    Lightyear, I think the "pidgeon-holing" has to do with someone with really strong Fe without much Ni to balance it out or the ENFJ might have considered the possibilities privately in his head and passed the judgement but comes off judgmental because the other person has not seen his internal thought process. Many ENFJs seem to go about analyzing people the exact same way you do. I would argue that most ENFJs aren't really that black and white. I don't think ENFJs are really that much different than INFJs in this regard.

    The key thing is is the person deliberate or do they do things spontaneously?. ENFJs seem to have a vibe of always being on some sort of mission while ENFPs are just like "whatever, I will just do whatever that strikes my fancy".

  6. #16
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    Lightyear, I think the "pidgeon-holing" has to do with someone with really strong Fe without much Ni to balance it out or ENFJ might have considered the possibilities privately in his head and passed the judgement but comes off judgmental because the other person has not seen his internal thought process. Many ENFJs seem to go about analyzing people the exact same way you do. I would argue that most ENFJs aren't really that black and white.

    The key thing is is the person deliberate or do they do things spontaneously?. ENFJs seem to have a vibe of always being some sort of missions while ENFPs are just like "whatever, I will just do whatever that strikes my fancy".
    +1

    I can agree with that.

  7. #17
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lightyear View Post
    He is definitely not an ESFJ, I don't get a Guardian vibe from him at all. At first glance I was thinking he is an ESFP because he is an explorer type who is into sports like surfing and rugby and he likes to keep busy which I thought might be him expressing Se. But ESFPs are not supposed to be into theory and he loves to study, to analyze and to question (he is doing his PhD at the moment), I get the feeling that behind the happy exterior there are quite a few layers (or could that just be an ESFP's Fi?) He once thanked me for having a deep conversation with him about a theoretical subject and he responds well to N-humour which I don't tend to get from other ESFPs.

    He can get things done if he puts his mind to it and if necessary he tends to take on responsibility in a group setting. I am not sure about the J-P difference, once he had to proofread something for me and I wanted to have the piece of writing back at a certain time and he did it on time and he said that the little bit of pressure I put on him and because he had made a promise to me helped him to get it done on time.
    haha, I'm like this. I don't get things done unless I think it's of the utmost importance or I promised someone. The emotional hiding could also be Fe with strong Ni. ENFJs can appear happy but many of them have hidden depth that they don't expose to others just like INFJs...an hidden dark side. For being extroverts, ENFJs can be insanely private. Outside of immediate family and close friends, my teacher knows more about my private life than most (he asked me about it). This isn't because I am close to him at all but I just don't really talk about personal things unless someone asks. Also the Se you could be seeing is his tertiary Se if he's ENFJ.

  8. #18
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lightyear View Post
    That surprises me. I would have thought ENFJs are more likely to hide since they try to adjust their behaviour according to how the people around them are feeling and hide their true feelings about something on the inside. I am also reminded of something that Domino once wrote, that she as an ENFJ used to be shocked by how much of an open book her ENFP twin could be, she as an ENFJ wouldn't feel safe being that open about her true emotions to just anyone.
    ENFJs are interesting with this. Personally, i'll tell anyone anything, but i won't attach the emotions i am feeling in that moment. I can say to someone "I am at the lowest point i've ever been and these are the reasons why...", yet i won't be reacting to the statement obviously.
    We can compartmentalize that if we are trying to place a situation before ourselves or don't feel comfortable. I'm not sure about how other ENFJs manage this and i'm sure some don't do either.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    Lightyear, I think the "pidgeon-holing" has to do with someone with really strong Fe without much Ni to balance it out or the ENFJ might have considered the possibilities privately in his head and passed the judgement but comes off judgmental because the other person has not seen his internal thought process. Many ENFJs seem to go about analyzing people the exact same way you do. I would argue that most ENFJs aren't really that black and white. I don't think ENFJs are really that much different than INFJs in this regard.

    The key thing is is the person deliberate or do they do things spontaneously?. ENFJs seem to have a vibe of always being on some sort of mission while ENFPs are just like "whatever, I will just do whatever that strikes my fancy".
    Completely agreed.
    I tend to be on the money if i judge someone quickly, but i always seek out more information for a better understanding or leave the case open (so to speak).
    Always on a mission. Sometimes i think i'm not on one, but i am. Should ask 'what is your goal?' and that answer could give tons of insight.
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  9. #19
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post
    ENFJs are interesting with this. Personally, i'll tell anyone anything, but i won't attach the emotions i am feeling in that moment. I can say to someone "I am at the lowest point i've ever been and these are the reasons why...", yet i won't be reacting to the statement obviously.
    We can compartmentalize that if we are trying to place a situation before ourselves or don't feel comfortable. I'm not sure about how other ENFJs manage this and i'm sure some don't do either.
    I am starting to notice this with myself. I will be completely blunt and open about a topic if someone broaches it (trust is required though) but I won't normally bring it up on my own. For me, people get personal information from me on a need to know or want to know basis. Most people don't know I have siblings because they don't ask.

    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post
    Completely agreed.
    I tend to be on the money if i judge someone quickly, but i always seek out more information for a better understanding or leave the case open (so to speak).
    Always on a mission. Sometimes i think i'm not on one, but i am. Should ask 'what is your goal?' and that answer could give tons of insight.
    Usually when I don't follow my first impression of the person, I get BURNED. If I think someone's a jerk at first glance, the reasons are usually revealed to me later through future interactions. For me, it's all about looking for consistent behavioral patterns and then extrapolating from there. I mentally store the observations and wait to see if they act in line with my observations or if they consistently act different. The worst and potentially dangerous type of people are those who are hugely inconsistent like a Jekyll and Hyde complex. It's a huge red flag for me.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Lightyear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post
    ENFJs are interesting with this. Personally, i'll tell anyone anything, but i won't attach the emotions i am feeling in that moment. I can say to someone "I am at the lowest point i've ever been and these are the reasons why...", yet i won't be reacting to the statement obviously.
    We can compartmentalize that if we are trying to place a situation before ourselves or don't feel comfortable. I'm not sure about how other ENFJs manage this and i'm sure some don't do either.
    Ha, it's funny how similar that is to how I as an INFJ work. I will have strong emotions but normally don't show them to the outside world (unless you catch me at a really vulnerable moment) since I like to have control and also don't want to overwhelm/intrude on the rest of the world with a wild flood of emotions.

    Once I have it all worked out in my head I will talk about my emotions to another person, but will wrap them in very rational, almost detached words and I will only show you how much something has really hurt if you show interest in hearing more about what is going on in me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    I am starting to notice this with myself. I will be completely blunt and open about a topic if someone broaches it (trust is required though) but I won't normally bring it up on my own. For me, people get personal information from me on a need to know or want to know basis. Most people don't know I have siblings because they don't ask.
    Again even despite being an INFJ I can completely relate to that. I won't tell you about myself of my own accord but if there is a certain level of trust and you ask me an honest, straight-forward question I will tell you loads of things about myself, my feelings, my vision etc.
    Last edited by Lightyear; 05-03-2010 at 01:33 AM.

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