[NF] NFs- Connecting with people

[nolla]

i hate to say out of sight, out of mind, but unless i have a really deep connection with someone, that's pretty much how it goes

Interesting how this thread has such a consensus on this. I too feel like it. It's not that I don't connect, it's just that it is very ok for me to just leave people behind, for example if I feel the connection is lost. There are some people who I connect with now and would not leave without a very good reason, but it has happened before that I just felt like there is no reason to try to contact someone, and I didn't.

It is strange that a bunch of "people people" have this issue in common... Any idea why? For me it is maybe that I so much need that feeling of connection that if it isn't there anymore it is like the only reason for seeing the person is lost. The relationship starts to feel like work, and why would I actively seek that? I sound like an asshole, yeah, and I sometimes feel like it too, but still... it is my life and I feel like it would be a burden for me to try and keep in touch with people I don't connect with.

And yeah, I can leave important people behind too, but I do try to stay in touch. It may not be so often as they would like, though, but that doesn't mean I don't love them.

 

[mochajava]

it took me about 3 years to makes friends that I actually liked and felt comfortable around, i don't make friends easily, mostly because i'm socially awkward.

Me too!

nolla:

It is strange that a bunch of "people people" have this issue in common... Any idea why? For me it is maybe that I so much need that feeling of connection that if it isn't there anymore it is like the only reason for seeing the person is lost. The relationship starts to feel like work, and why would I actively seek that? I sound like an asshole, yeah, and I sometimes feel like it too, but still... it is my life and I feel like it would be a burden for me to try and keep in touch with people I don't connect with.

It sounds callous coming from people-people, but maybe self-preserving too? I can't possibly meet all the new people in my life (family and workplace), the close friends nearby, and myself, plus the e-mails and keeping in touch with people from the past... the sheer volume is just too huge (and yet I feel like a socially awkward failure. Hrm). So maybe for our types, "cleaning house" is even more important?

 

[Blossom500]

people feel like they connect with me.
but i rarely connect with anybody.

I have felt this a lot.

 

[musicnerd93]

It depends on the situation for me.

Like, for example, if my friend whom I see practically every day moved away right now and never came back, I probably wouldn't miss her very much. I've had some friends move away and it never really bothered me, you know? I didn't feel like my life was falling apart as some other people might feel. So, yes, I can agree with you on that part.

But, there are certain instances where I'm extremely attached to certain people. My cousin/best friend, for one, lives in another state. And I'm always upset when I'm not with her, but when we finally go over to see her I'm much, much more happy than I am otherwise. We just have a very strange connection, I don't really think anyone understands me quite as well as she does.

Also, I was a teacher's assistant at a nearby middle school for awhile, for the art class. And from the looks of it, the kids really loved me. And when it came for my last day, I felt really upset that I was leaving them, almost guilty.

I don't know, some people I connect well with, others I don't. It happens.

 

[You]

Yup.

I can only speak for myself. I lived away from home for two years and it didn't bother me at all. Being friendly, making new aquaintances is no different than new ones here. The soul-ful friends though are a different story but I've never had any like those locally unless they were people I dated.

Uh huh.

 

[Arkhangelsk]

I connect closely with people, and I'll pity the fact that they're absent, but it's really rare for me to actually miss someone.