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  1. #11
    Senior Member Pixelholic's Avatar
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    I developed a sort of existential detachment right before I moved away and drove a lot of my friends out of my life, but I really enjoy my new friends here. Some people I keep in contact with but not many. I don't have too many issues with it (besides the aforementioned weird detachment)

  2. #12
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    it took me about 3 years to makes friends that I actually liked and felt comfortable around, i don't make friends easily, mostly because i'm socially awkward.

  3. #13
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    I've always connected easily with other people, but I prefer to bond and spend my energy on just a select few. Since being out of school, I've made about 1 or 2 friends every 3 or so years.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  4. #14
    Junior Member cellar door's Avatar
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    I, too, have had similar issues and worries. I currently only have a few people I'm close with and I find myself only conversing with them. The feeling of being around people I don't connect with depresses me. It leaves me with such a feeling of longing that I am guilty of avoiding to branch out. But I've pushed myself to try to connect. So far, I've found a few people who give me the stimulation of true connection.

    Like you said, just keep walking down the road. But don't be worried about "not connecting" if something catches your eye. Take it as it comes! Right? *confused look*
    (I think I made you up inside my head.)

  5. #15
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
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    I think it makes sense that NF's don't seem to miss people too much, because as N's we are future-oriented. We just don't look back. I do have a few lifelong friends, but I have the same experience of moving on and not looking back with any degree of sadness.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Blossom500's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post

    I am kind of realizing I have a difficult time truly connecting with people. I have a lot of friends, but it feels as though only a very select few know who I am underneath all of the friendly facades and general social persona. The thought of leaving friends doesn't stir any feeling of sadness in my heart, only a longing. I don't think it would even be difficult. I don't think I have a hard time moving on. Gotta keep walking on down the road, right? I kind of see it that way, and all of the connections I make now in my life are just nice sites to see along the way. But I don't know if that's right or wrong...it's just the way I feel.
    Many people I know have commented that I know everything about them and they know nothing about me. I have never felt very able to connect. I am much better at understanding other people's emotional lives than my own. I am not sure if it is because the huge big swag of emotions and personal thoughts and longings that rush around my head are too intense. Getting close means risking letting someone discover that utter chaos... which I am embarrassed about. I think that because my emotions so in tune with the moods and emotions of others being to close is overload. My partner is about one of the few people I trust but he is INTJ so it is fairly safe won't overload me on the emotion too often.

  7. #17
    Senior Member You's Avatar
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    I gotta agree. I really don't connect with people on a deep level because there is so many layers to get through. Not to say connecting on those levels aren't cool - but yeah...I dont know how to put it into the words I want to because I'm so distracted right now, but I think you all know what I'm talking about.

  8. #18
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    i have no idea if this is a helpful point or not, but it makes me think...

    when i got ready to live abroad, i wasn't really sad about leaving everyone. there was so much to think about in the future.

    then when i was abroad, the only times i would really miss people was when i was upset or when i was actively talking to people who were very close to me.

    i hate to say out of sight, out of mind, but unless i have a really deep connection with someone, that's pretty much how it goes

  9. #19
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    it's comforting to see other NFs with similar problems.

    it almost makes me feel lonely.

    but it also makes me feel alive.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  10. #20
    meinmeinmein! mmhmm's Avatar
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    people feel like they connect with me.
    but i rarely connect with anybody.

    i don't miss people much. always moving forward.
    every normal man must be tempted, at times,
    to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
    and begin slitting throats.
    h.l. mencken

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