So I have this great job at a wonderful int'l charity. The only problem is Im on the fundraising side when I want to be on the programs/travel side. It took a TON of courage to ask to interview for a transfer to the program coordinator position but I finally did after 2 years of proving myself. I got support from a lot of my superiors who think I'm great. However, I didn't get the job because competition was stiff and they said I didnt' have enough int'l experience. I have more than most but I haven't lived in 3rd world countries and am not bilingual like most of the other applicants.
Anyways, this new job required 3wks in country then 3wks out of country for all of the 2 year contract. It's the most amazing opportunity ever. You meet the most inspirational international volunteers and get to travel the world helping people. What could be better?
So I was told I'd be a strong candidate if I were bilingual by the next hiring time a year from now. I have decided to move abroad to immerse myself and pick up Spanish as quickly as possible. However, this means I have to quit my current job as a fundraiser with the company which I like but don't love. There is no guarantee that I'd even get the job when I came back or my old job back.. Is it OK to just throw away all I've worked for and am content with now to pursue this tough but worthwhile position? There is no other int'l org like this one in my home so if I wanted to return here, I'd be stuck at some job I wasn't passionate about.
Also, if I don't get the job, I have been thinking about getting my MPH in international health when I return as a back up plan. If I come back and get the job, I will still prob pursue my MPH after my contract is over as this field work would open up doors to much better schools. This work is what interests me most because I have a strong need to help the int'l community, travel, take the road less traveled and learn about the world. However, to be stationed in the US, most jobs in this field require a ton of work in the field first. I'd basically be moving all around the world before I could finally come back to one place in the US... I enjoy traveling and meeting new people, actually I LOVE it, but is it worth it..
I'm scared that pursuing my dreams for this amazing career and helping people will only come back to haunt me because I will be lonely.. Never around family, difficult to make new friends in these rural environments and to maintain old friendships- as if this isn't hard enough for an ENFP, and hard to find a hubby that would be willing to do these things with me... I think the older you get the harder it is to find a good available guy that wants to have kids.. Also, what if my parents get sick or something I'd have to quit to be with them, I know it.
So basically being closing with my family and starting my own is so important to me.. If I stayed and did fundraising I'd still be helping people and could start a family in the next few years and be a stable normal person. However, I'd probably always regret not going to travel and pursuing my dream. I'm just scared pursuing this dream will leave me empty handed in the deep relationships category which I need to be happy and jumping from place to place. But I also feel like this is my time to live and the world is here for me to explore and experiment while I still can, before family makes it more difficult..
Sorry this is so long.. So should I stay with the stable job that still helps people and pretty rad or should I go run until I get what I dream about and wish for, even if it turns out to make me unhappy..