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  1. #1
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Default When your parents don't support your NF dreams

    What do you do?

    I recently left the corporate world to pursue my dreams of becoming a fashion stylist/journalist and my parents still obsess over my LSAT marks and how I was supposed to become a lawyer. I wouldn't mind if they weren't so harsh and belittling. I'm a hardened, logical little INFP so I continue on, but man it sucks when your family doesn't believe in you and pretty much mocks you.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  2. #2
    The Architect Alwar's Avatar
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    Tell them how horrible it makes you feel to be treated that way. If it continues, keep them at arms length and remind them that the consequences will be you severing ties. Deliver if they don't comply.

  3. #3
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Don't you think that's a bit harsh? I honestly think they feel worse about me not going to law school than I do about their insensitive guilt trips. They hand me brochures mailed to them by interested law schools when I visit and tell me it's not too late. It's kind of sad.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    Don't you think that's a bit harsh? I honestly think they feel worse about me not going to law school than I do about their insensitive guilt trips. They hand me brochures mailed to them by interested law schools when I visit and tell me it's not too late. It's kind of sad.
    It is my understanding that law school, and more to the point working as an attorney, is a real grinder on all the NF's, but especially INFP's. From MBTI stuff I've read, the ENFJ's have the best chance of making that work, but still tend to give it up after a few years.

    I will say, its not law school, but physics grad school was a real grinder, so if law school and being an attorney would be at all similar to my own experiences [welcome to cold unsocial unemotional soulless INTJ hell!!!!] I'd say avoid like the plague!!!

  5. #5
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    What do I do?

    Space out. j/k.

    My mom's motto is: "I knock you down to build you up."

    Hellz yeah it hurts. How I deal with it is by remembering my past, where I came from, and where I envision myself to be in 20 years.

    Sucks when your very own blood doesn't support you, but you know what? At least in some odd way, it does make us stronger, because at least we stand up for ourselves by saying , "No, it's not true. Your dream is NOT my dream."

    My mom would rather me get a certificate degree and be a pharmacy technician than to pursue school. I got into grad school despite what she says, and I think reflecting on words of encouragement by other elders and people who live genuinely happy lives, who serve as examples of accomplishment/achievement/fulfillment helps reinforce the idea of 'chasing' after my dreams.

    I guess finding our own personal role-models, and identifying those strengths to pull us through helps.

    Sometimes, when the road looks bleak, and it seems as though you're alone, that's when it actually helps me to find strength from within- not taking what's said for what it is, and looking beyond to dig deeper.. it's like squeezing lime on an open wound, but the end result is that I feel more reaffirmed about my own self-identity.

  6. #6
    The Architect Alwar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    Don't you think that's a bit harsh? I honestly think they feel worse about me not going to law school than I do about their insensitive guilt trips. They hand me brochures mailed to them by interested law schools when I visit and tell me it's not too late. It's kind of sad.
    Difficult to do maybe, but not harsh. You are not at fault here.

  7. #7
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott N Denver View Post
    It is my understanding that law school, and more to the point working as an attorney, is a real grinder on all the NF's, but especially INFP's. From MBTI stuff I've read, the ENFJ's have the best chance of making that work, but still tend to give it up after a few years.

    I will say, its not law school, but physics grad school was a real grinder, so if law school and being an attorney would be at all similar to my own experiences [welcome to cold unsocial unemotional soulless INTJ hell!!!!] I'd say avoid like the plague!!!
    Thanks for the support hun
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  8. #8
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kiddykat View Post
    What do I do?

    Space out. j/k.

    My mom's motto is: "I knock you down to build you up."

    Hellz yeah it hurts. How I deal with it is by remembering my past, where I came from, and where I envision myself to be in 20 years.

    Sucks when your very own blood doesn't support you, but you know what? At least in some odd way, it does make us stronger, because at least we stand up for ourselves by saying , "No, it's not true. Your dream is NOT my dream."

    My mom would rather me get a certificate degree and be a pharmacy technician than to pursue school. I got into grad school despite what she says, and I think reflecting on words of encouragement by other elders and people who live genuinely happy lives, who serve as examples of accomplishment/achievement/fulfillment helps reinforce the idea of 'chasing' after my dreams.

    I guess finding our own personal role-models, and identifying those strengths to pull us through helps.

    Sometimes, when the road looks bleak, and it seems as though you're alone, that's when it actually helps me to find strength from within- not taking what's said for what it is, and looking beyond to dig deeper.. it's like squeezing lime on an open wound, but the end result is that I feel more reaffirmed about my own self-identity.
    I think that is some solid advice. Role models can be incredibly inspiring in moments of doubt.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  9. #9
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    I can't offer you any good advice, Thessaly. I can relate in a few ways though.

    Many of these your way.
    4w3 sx/sp? INFP, INFp

  10. #10
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    I've come to a conclusion that this contention between my parents and I will never truly go away...kind of like herpes. For some time it may not rear its ugly head, but then inevitably an outbreak and I shall be tormented for an undetermined period of time...till I die.

    Perhaps I've inherited some of that cynicism I'm facing here lol
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

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