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  1. #11
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    yeah exactly...i don't want someone to bring up topics that may be too hard for me. i don't want them to say anything positive when i think it's important to just feel. i think just knowing someone who's supportive is there and available if you do feel like talking...just to listen...not to say anything really...but just to be there in whatever way they need. that's all you can really do.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    I bet you are doing A LOT more than you think you are doing. Like Lady X said, people like to know that you are there for them and care. That's usually all it takes. At the same time, you don't want to push on their newly opened hurt until they are ready. This might sound callous but I don't usually bring anything up until they are ready to talk about it. Sometimes people just need some room to grieve and then once the pain subsides, they open up.
    I like looking in threads and finding replies that are exactly what I thought should be said

    (I'm lazy)

  3. #13

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    I tend to say "yeh" and wait for them to say whatever they'll say next. I'm not exactly a champion of sympathy.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  4. #14
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    I tend to hug or hold people in these situations rather than talking, or I ask if there's anything I can do for them (maybe a development of Te/Si?) because I don't know the right thing to say. What is the right thing to say?

  5. #15
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    So you're really asking what to text back? Text back hugs.

  6. #16
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    For a very close friend?

    "You can call me anytime day or night, let me know anything I can do for you. I wish more than anything I could bear this pain that you feel and hold you while you cry. I am so saddened by your loss."

  7. #17
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Why people think there is something that is "the right thing to say" in this kinds of situations ?

  8. #18
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    You don't have to talk, just listen to them and give them your support. It's better than saying anything. If they want to talk, talk with them on subjects they want to talk about. And listen, listen, listen and offer your shoulder to lean on. Support is the word.

  9. #19
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I tend to hug or hold people in these situations rather than talking, or I ask if there's anything I can do for them (maybe a development of Te/Si?) because I don't know the right thing to say. What is the right thing to say?
    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    For a very close friend?

    "You can call me anytime day or night, let me know anything I can do for you. I wish more than anything I could bear this pain that you feel and hold you while you cry. I am so saddened by your loss."
    Quote Originally Posted by alcea rosea View Post
    You don't have to talk, just listen to them and give them your support. It's better than saying anything. If they want to talk, talk with them on subjects they want to talk about. And listen, listen, listen and offer your shoulder to lean on. Support is the word.

    Forget your weaknesses. Use your strengths. Fi is nonverbal.

    Just look them in the eye. They'll see how you feel.

    Just hug them. They'll know you mean it.

    In fact, there is nothing you can say to make things better, and even if you had Fe or Se/i, you'd have nothing better to say than just giving them a BEEEEG HUG.
    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.

  10. #20
    Junior Member brandie187's Avatar
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    Well, the first thing I would need to know in being able to comfort them is know what their type is. I guess i really go off that because that will tell me how I should treat them in tough times. I have SF friends that when they get upset about something, they just cry and cry and talk and talk. The way I handle is just let them talk. I tell them I am sorry and agree with them. I think letting them talk and just being there to listen is what SF's want.
    On the other hand, if they are NF's, you could def go deeper.
    I had a SF friend that sorta got mad at me because I started getting into deep detail. She told me she just wants someone to listen so I learned to back off and just always be there for her to cry to and to talk.

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