[ENFJ] ENFJs get mad?

[Malkavia]

What are all these jokes I see on this forum about ENFJs being these big bad people when they get mad?

Ive never seen this, I dont even know where it comes from. The (few) ENFJs I know dont seem to get upset ever. Usually you dont even know if what you're seeing are the true emotions.

 

[Hate]

What are all these jokes I see on this forum about ENFJs being these big bad people when they get mad?

Ive never seen this, I dont even know where it comes from. The (few) ENFJs I know dont seem to get upset ever. Usually you dont even know if what you're seeing are the true emotions.

<---one right here

I don't think your lookin in the right neighborhood homey..

The ENFJs I know can turn gangster in the blink of an eye.

It usually comes from either observing or feeling some kind of injustice.

 

[Ozzy26]

I have an ENFJ coworker. He rarely gets angry, but when he does you don't want to be anywhere near him. One minute he'll seem perfectly normal and then he'll just snap and go into this intense rage. His face gets red and all scrunched up and he yells a lot. Then he cools back down back to normal. I've noticed it happens when he's really stressed out. I think he bottles it up and then just unleashes all his frustrations at once, unfortunately on whoever made him snap.

He snapped on me once. When he was busy, I unknowingly started a conversation about something that was really stressing him out. Before I knew it he was yelling at me to get the fuck out of his office and all that good stuff. He apologized about an hour later.

 

[Rainne]

They do.

And it's not pretty.

 

[Charmed Justice]

It takes much provocation, and I've learned quite a bit about how to temper myself and shift my perspective. Nonetheless, when I'm really angry, it's deep, and it's evil.

 

[miss fortune]

all should fear the wrath of ENFJs

My sis is one, and my ex fiance is one, both have a great capacity for anger, which they vent with the glee of a destroying angel of sorts... it's SCARY

 

[Malkavia]

Really? I just cant imagine this.

Ive been best friends with an ENFJ for a couple of years now...and we even room together. I have never seen this. (I secretly want to I guess)

I work with another ENFJ and have never seen in it, however I assume I would see it in my roommate before my coworker.

 

[miss fortune]

noooo! you don't WANT to see it! Nobody does anger better than an ENFJ... NOBODY!!!

beleive me, I've seen it often enough

 

[ceecee]

It's rare but it happens and you don't want to be around it.

 

[Malkavia]

noooo! you don't WANT to see it! Nobody does anger better than an ENFJ... NOBODY!!!

beleive me, I've seen it often enough

People saying things like this just makes me want to see it more. Not taken out on me of course.... I hope I would never put people I love over the edge like that.

 

[miss fortune]

It's rare but it happens and you don't want to be around it.

with the ones I knew it wasn't that rare

 

[Malkavia]

Ugh! Why cant I have a non-rare ENFJ friend?

 

[miss fortune]

really... you don't want to see it! they rant, they rave, they know where all your skeletons are buried and they pull them out... sometimes they throw things and if the argument is via telephone they call you back repeatedly if you hang up on them... then they get over it... it's very annoying to someone who gets mad maybe once a year or so

 

[ceecee]

with the ones I knew it wasn't that rare

Maybe it's age/maturity, I don't know. There have only been two instances in all the years I've known ENFJ man that he's been yelling angry. Neither time was directed at me, I just witnessed it.

 

[Atomic Fiend]

It probably takes days to piss on off, or one friendship ending conversation might do it.

Go for it, just make sure you have somewhere to go first.

 

[miss fortune]

mine are/were early 20s... I'll be glad when it's grown out of

 

[Dahlila]

Really? I just cant imagine this.

Ive been best friends with an ENFJ for a couple of years now...and we even room together. I have never seen this. (I secretly want to I guess)

I work with another ENFJ and have never seen in it, however I assume I would see it in my roommate before my coworker.

I can't see it either. The ENFJ in my life seems to lack any ability to become angry.

 

[Hate]

Really? I just cant imagine this.

Ive been best friends with an ENFJ for a couple of years now...and we even room together. I have never seen this. (I secretly want to I guess)

I work with another ENFJ and have never seen in it, however I assume I would see it in my roommate before my coworker.

Have you ever witnessed a situation in where your ENFJ friends should have gotten upset and didn't? Maybe there just never in that situation...

Alot of it has to do with boundaries.. ENFJs have strong subjective boundaries.. so once someone crosses that boundary then it can set an ENFJ off.

i.e. - My ENFJ friend works as a bouncer, and his biggest pet peeve is if he's arguing with someone and they call him a bitch. I've seen him crack somebody in the face before because of this. I've been best friends with him for over 10 years and he would probably go off on me too if I called him that. (because thats his boundary). Someone could call him every name in the book other than bitch and he might not get pissed. (like I said, subjective)

My boundary is bullies :steam:.. I loathe bullies and whenever I witness someone being bullied it can set off a psychopathic rage in me and I just feel compelled to say something.

 

[INTPness]

The one I know best has made it a point to not be an angry person. She's very pleasant and has learned to bite her tongue. She also knows that I'm not one to tolerate it - it just wouldn't work - I'll just walk out and leave it up to you to come talk to me (if ever again) when you have a cool head. But, I've seen it brewing in her. I've seen her look like/act like she was so frustrated that she just wanted to tear into me (or others).

We have some sort of intuitive understanding that we just can't go there with each other. We must keep our heads about us, or we both know the friendship will probably be over.

 

[Glycerine]

They can rip you to shreds if they are close to you. Most of the time, they are amiable but once they snap, every little criticism they have of you will be brought out to the surface. It's like hundreds of daggers of unfiltered truth coming at you all at once. It's fun times.