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Thread: ENFJs get mad?

  1. #61
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malkavia View Post
    and how do we do that?
    Find a perverted INTJ.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  2. #62
    Member Kymlee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlexMagdalena View Post
    LOL.. ur funny Kymlee



    Unfortunately yes... and every time that side comes out of me the next day when I'm self-reflecting I always think, "Who the hell was that guy?"



    It's funny how you were trying to be sarcastic but unknowingly created some type of psychodynamic theory for the treatment of an ENFJ.
    lol... Thanks!

    I do always feel bad if someone is at the brunt of my anger, and usually I'm the first one to apologize, unless I really feel that the person deserved it (punishment fit the crime thing)


    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    for sure, i do.
    welcome to our dilemma...

    I really would like to tone down this side of me, because honestly its completely unproductive and it can actually undo everything I work so hard to maintain in my life, which is along the lines of harmony, love, acceptance, you get my drift.

    This other part of me that's basically a rageaholic needs to disappear. I think the only situation it would ever be useful would be as a scare tactic/defense mechanism if one was in a bad situation (life threatening, etc)
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  3. #63
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kymlee View Post
    The angry music thing does help.
    Do any of you other ENFJ's feel like you have a completely Evil side to you? Sometimes, when I let stress/anger build up, it's like something is inside of me that's not human, its HORRIBLE. So I do my best to always stay calm and happy.
    I use to just keep it to myself and let it built up and just "be" happy, but I found it that it wasn't the best for me. Sometimes you have to let the anger out and like my friend says conflict isn't the end of the world.
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  4. #64
    Member Kymlee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Third Rider View Post
    I use to just keep it to myself and let it built up and just "be" happy, but I found it that it wasn't the best for me. Sometimes you have to let the anger out and like my friend says conflict isn't the end of the world.
    true... Normally, when I'm driving is when I can really vent, because I dont trust anyone to be able to handle the full shot of my anger, so its best when Im alone to let it out. hence why I said angry music helps.
    Then I can go back to being happy and helpful as always.

    I've been feeling lately, that I wear many masks, (not that I'm trying to be deceitful, but it seems to be expected of me...) and I'm struggling to find my self under all of this...
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  5. #65
    Senior Member toast's Avatar
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    I can be a white hot volcano of rage if its bad enough. I also do outbursts of frustration quite well & frequently. These are exposed to people I know well, though. Anger comes out as a very very cold apathetic bitterness to people I'm not close to. But I still hear that its scary, just in a different way.
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  6. #66
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kymlee View Post
    true... Normally, when I'm driving is when I can really vent, because I dont trust anyone to be able to handle the full shot of my anger, so its best when Im alone to let it out. hence why I said angry music helps.
    Then I can go back to being happy and helpful as always.

    I've been feeling lately, that I wear many masks, (not that I'm trying to be deceitful, but it seems to be expected of me...) and I'm struggling to find my self under all of this...
    I know exactly what you mean, I am different things to different people but in between all of that you kind lose track of who you really are. :/ Not that you aren't all those other "masks" though, yeah weird....
    ENFJ 3W4

    If you read this I am sorry to say that you just lost 5 seconds of your life that you wont be getting back.*

    *Actual time may vary.

  7. #67
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    Although fairly rare in frequency I get pissed off and can get exceptionally venomous when I've had enough. I generally do not yell when I'm very angry that's more the highly annoyed stage. Truly pissed off will on outside appearance seem like a rather calm moment as I carefully choose the words which are going to cut you the deepest. Whether or not I pull the trigger in that moment is a hard decision for me. I most often choose not to. Luckily for those in relationships with us they do not have to see this side much if ever.
    "At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**

  8. #68
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    The ENFJ I know becomes a super jerk when he's mad... like he'll actually make fun of you and know how to upset you. But its okay because he's an ENFJ and if you pretend you're really hurt by what he is saying then he stops right away and feels bad.

  9. #69
    Senior Member nynesneg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    So how do the rest of ENFJs handle the anger? Right now, I REALLY want to chew someone out against my better judgement. I just hold it all in and then become the Incredible Hulk at the last straw.
    lol... this is so me.

    When people upset me I initially get upset inside, but keep it there and digest it. Then I do one of several things:

    Most of the time try to figure out what their point of view is, put myself in their shoes, and figure out how to best handle it.
    Generally I'm trying to problem solve the situation without regards to my own emotions... I'm always doing this.

    Then if the person did something I thought was stupid/bad enough against my moral code, I may go give them a piece of my mind. But those direct confrontational words only come because I think they deserve to be told by someone they were a d-bag.

    Ironically, if I confront people it's days after I've cooled down my own emotions and I do it quite matter-of-factly. They automatically assume I was mad/upset though.

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    My friends recently said I am "just like the Stepford Wives". lol. I'm not sure if it's in mannerisms, looks, or behaviours... or even if this is good or bad. But it describes my "niceness" by choice I suppose.
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  10. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kymlee View Post
    I do always feel bad if someone is at the brunt of my anger, and usually I'm the first one to apologize, unless I really feel that the person deserved it (punishment fit the crime thing)
    Yah I know exactly what you mean.. I think this is what I was trying to say but didn’t elaborate enough.. I guess the point I’m trying to bring up is that even if the person on the receiving end of my anger deserved it or not.. I usually still question, “Who the hell is that evil twin that dwells inside of me.” Whenever someone is on the receiving end of undeserved anger, I definitely immediately recognize that I was in the wrong and I am genuinely sorry. If someone is on the receiving end of some deserved anger, I am in the same boat as you as far as a “punishment fit the crime thing.” But in either instance I always trip out on the evil twin that lurks within me.

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