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  1. #61
    Senior Member paradox fox's Avatar
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    I've thought about this. Most of the time I'm the one pursuing. I'm not quite sure how I feel about this. One the one hand, I've got my two options of a) being rejected and b) never knowing how it would turn out, I feel better when I find out how it unfolds. It's kind of fun. Plus it's gotten me more comfortable with being rejected. *bitter smile* At least I tried, right?

    On the other hand, when I'm pursuing someone, I never really have the assurance that they're as interested as I am, not just playing along. Like, I really let them know that I'm interested. I try not to be a bimbo about it, but I make it clear in words and actions. I don't like to play mind games with people, like I love you one minute and I hate you the next. What I do is I give lots of attention today and a little less tomorrow, ebb and flow like that, just to see if he'll return my affections. Usually he does give something back, but the point is, I never have the assurance that he will.

    I hate it when I give someone a nice little piece of my heart, or tell him something that took a lot of courage to say, and he picks it up and walks away. Doesn't give anything in return. He picked it up and stole it. That's what I'm afraid of.

    Anyway. Pursuing. It's fun when it works, and terrible when it doesn't.
    Just because I'm an INFP doesn't mean I'm emo!

  2. #62
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    I'm pursuing for the first time in my life. Paradox Fox is right, it's much less certain. I'm usually pursued. At least, this time I'm sure of my feelings, where as usually I'm ambivilant during the pursuit. I just had this feeling if I let him dissapear out of my life like I do every one else, I'd regret it.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

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  3. #63
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dahlila View Post
    What a lengthy process. I wish there was a Discovery Channel or Planet Earth special on the mating habits of the Humanus Dorkasus
    But it's so fun!!!
    I love introverts for that reason usually. I see something interesting about them, a spark, of sorts, and I engage them to see what else is there. I love peeling the onion
    Also, it gives me time to figure out step by step what they willl be to me. A good friend? Potential fun? Or do they have the potential for a life partner?

    E's are fun too, but yeah, they usually pursue me (though I've had the odd I that I missed and suddenly decided that he had all the datat to whack *me* over the head for a change!), and then I have to scramble to catch up, to see if they are in fact a person I would enjoy...its a bit more stressy. I prefer my cat and mouse game

    Even better is when the guy decides that he saw something he likes, so he needs to investigate. Basically, what I do with men, done onto me. It gives me the thrill and lets face it, ego-boost of being chased, while going slow. It becomes like a ping-pong match, to see who can one-up who and learn the most about the other person the fastest, and who is able to test the other person the most. It also allows for an incredible info-gathering process without there being a need to get to the end-goal already. Once you do get there, it's almost natural and most likely, you've been anticipating it and restraining yourself for quite some time, so the release will be amazing
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





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  4. #64
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    Pursue, but with pretty small incremental steps. I also need to gauge her response at each step before I'll pursue further.

  5. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    But it's so fun!!!
    I love introverts for that reason usually. I see something interesting about them, a spark, of sorts, and I engage them to see what else is there. I love peeling the onion
    Also, it gives me time to figure out step by step what they willl be to me. A good friend? Potential fun? Or do they have the potential for a life partner?

    E's are fun too, but yeah, they usually pursue me (though I've had the odd I that I missed and suddenly decided that he had all the datat to whack *me* over the head for a change!), and then I have to scramble to catch up, to see if they are in fact a person I would enjoy...its a bit more stressy. I prefer my cat and mouse game

    Even better is when the guy decides that he saw something he likes, so he needs to investigate. Basically, what I do with men, done onto me. It gives me the thrill and lets face it, ego-boost of being chased, while going slow. It becomes like a ping-pong match, to see who can one-up who and learn the most about the other person the fastest, and who is able to test the other person the most. It also allows for an incredible info-gathering process without there being a need to get to the end-goal already. Once you do get there, it's almost natural and most likely, you've been anticipating it and restraining yourself for quite some time, so the release will be amazing
    This is ideal

  6. #66
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    I'm an INFP male and I would say most of the time I was the one pursued, usually by very strong E women. Until i met the woman who became my wife--her I pursued (She's ESFJ). Up until she said, "well, I'm not sure I want to be in a relationship, let's just be friends" and I said (surprising myself), "I don't need any more friends, I want more from you and I'm not going hang around and be your buddy." I walked away (surprising myself again) and soon she was pursuing me back. Happily married now.

  7. #67
    Senior Member MafiaAngel180's Avatar
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    Maturity probably did play a role in my experiences with E men. I knew some guys who just needed to be with someone. Anyone. So they hit on everything. It's just kind of scary because I value sincerity and genuiness...and I think I have it and Blammo the rug is pulled out from underneath of me. I would like to meet a mature E. It could be good for me.

  8. #68
    Senior Member boondocked's Avatar
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    I'm usually the one pursued, but it feels anything but passive. I put a LOT of energy into connecting and discovering someone. While the guy (usually introverted) may be the one to call and ask me out, I'm the one responsible for blowing the sparks into a bonfire.

    It's a lot of work

    But eh, I love introverted men. They talk with their eyes. Not hips, not lips, eyes.

    And if they're willing to step outside of their comfort zone and ask me out, I'm going to pay them all the way back with as much attention and enthusiasm and seduction as I have in me.

    So, yeah, it feels about equal, really.

  9. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by boondocked View Post
    I'm usually the one pursued, but it feels anything but passive. I put a LOT of energy into connecting and discovering someone. While the guy (usually introverted) may be the one to call and ask me out, I'm the one responsible for blowing the sparks into a bonfire.

    It's a lot of work

    But eh, I love introverted men. They talk with their eyes. Not hips, not lips, eyes.

    And if they're willing to step outside of their comfort zone and ask me out, I'm going to pay them all the way back with as much attention and enthusiasm and seduction as I have in me.

    So, yeah, it feels about equal, really.
    This is probably the most realistic way we go about snagging that special one.

  10. #70
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    I try as often as I can, but I don't see everyone, so it would be nice if some girls who are actually interested to at least get my attention and be patient since I'm not in the world all the time.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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