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[NF] Nf's: Pursue or be pursued?

rogue1

New member
Joined
Jan 18, 2010
Messages
26
MBTI Type
INFJ
hmmm 99% of the time I am pursued. In the other 1% of the time I just open the door very wide... thats as good as it gets. :smile:
 

Dahlila

New member
Joined
Mar 12, 2010
Messages
45
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9
hmmm 99% of the time I am pursued. In the other 1% of the time I just open the door very wide... thats as good as it gets. :smile:

Ha:smile: This INFP for sure is thinking of trying out my hand at being the initiator. I've noticed in my life that romantic relationships, friendships and any other type of relationship just HAPPENS. No trying involved.
 

disregard

mrs
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
7,826
MBTI Type
INFP
I've noticed in my life that romantic relationships, friendships and any other type of relationship just HAPPENS. No trying involved.

Tell that to the guys that asked you out.

I doubt there was no sweat involved!
 

MrRandom88

New member
Joined
Mar 26, 2010
Messages
68
MBTI Type
INFP
i imagine that 100% of the female INFP's are being pursued.

I've always been pursued (i notice it REALLY early on when someone likes me and I can read those small, subtle signs women give off and I'm knowledgable enough to know how to not screw it all up), but once i get financially stable here I'm going to learn to do the pursuing :smile:
 

gromit

likes this
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Messages
6,508
I have the same dilemma that FalseHeart mentioned: contending with the desire to pursue, but to not come off as intrusive or seeming too "eager", I guess.

To the NF's: so you'll entertain being pursued even when and maybe long after the point of disinterest? That sure could be fucking frustrating for the pursuer... Though, I'm thinking that this would vary depending on the individual and not be type related so much...?

Possibly I'm tricking myself into thinking I like :wubbie: the person. I guess I am more like Unkindloving, though... if I was interested in the person, I'd probably be more aggressive, so maybe that should be a signal I can use in the future, next time I suspect I'm tricking myself.

Stupid feelings... :steam:
 

Dahlila

New member
Joined
Mar 12, 2010
Messages
45
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9
Disregard: Oh I made it easy ;)
MrRandom: Awesome! You've got to come back and tell us what it's like when you get there.
Gromit: Stupid stupid feelings :)
 

MafiaAngel180

New member
Joined
Apr 15, 2010
Messages
133
MBTI Type
ENFP
I'm so sick of pursuing men. But I know that I need to because the type of men I like are pussies and don't pursue. They play WoW and beat off eccessively.
 
P

Phantonym

Guest
I'm so sick of pursuing men. But I know that I need to because the type of men I like are pussies and don't pursue. They play WoW and beat off eccessively.

Why would you want to pursue such men? Where's the respect? :thinking: Does not compute. To me it sounds like a recipe for disaster but that's just me.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I like both :devil:

I like it in fact when we play a game of tag..especially in the beginning. However as the game continues...I kinda enjoy him taking charge and me being the one chased and cornered, I do admit :blush:
 

gromit

likes this
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Messages
6,508
I actually for the most part don't like being pursued. It makes me feel weird like there are these all these roles and I have to fit into a different shape. I'd much rather set the standards of the interaction. Of course it is flattering, but on a deeper level, I don't really like it.

Unfortunately it happens more often that I am pursued than am the pursuer. I am not interested in most people romantically.
 

MrRandom88

New member
Joined
Mar 26, 2010
Messages
68
MBTI Type
INFP
I'm so sick of pursuing men. But I know that I need to because the type of men I like are pussies and don't pursue. They play WoW and beat off eccessively.

you can have your pick from the entire litter of men who don't know how to please a woman! I wouldn't be too worried if i were you about not obtaining this ideal man you are seeking.
 

gromit

likes this
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Messages
6,508
I actually for the most part don't like being pursued. It makes me feel weird like there are these all these roles and I have to fit into a different shape. I'd much rather set the standards of the interaction. Of course it is flattering, but on a deeper level, I don't really like it.

Unfortunately it happens more often that I am pursued than am the pursuer. I am not interested in most people romantically.

Ok I lied again. I would prefer there be no "roles" at all, but if there have to be, I'd like to set them... or something?
 

Dahlila

New member
Joined
Mar 12, 2010
Messages
45
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9
I like both :devil:

I like it in fact when we play a game of tag..especially in the beginning. However as the game continues...I kinda enjoy him taking charge and me being the one chased and cornered, I do admit :blush:

Exactly :smile:

MafiaAngel: Time for a new breed of men.
 

swordpath

New member
Joined
Oct 24, 2007
Messages
10,547
MBTI Type
ISTx
Enneagram
5w6
Why would you want to pursue such men? Where's the respect? :thinking: Does not compute. To me it sounds like a recipe for disaster but that's just me.

I think she's saying she digs antisocial nerds...
 
H

Hate

Guest
In my short dating experience I have 90% of the time been the one who was pursued.

Alright, Alright, Alright Dahlila... quit twisting my arm... If you wanna try something new.. You can go ahead and start pursuing me. :D

Who better to start with than an ENFJ right? ;)
 

Lux

Kraken down on piracy
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
1,458
I think it can be both, and in my case I feel that it is. I think there needs (or it works better, anyway) to be an encouragement on both sides of the aisle. I have never actively pursued, but I certainly encourage, if I am interested, which I think is a form of pursuing. I am not against actively pursuing, it just hasn't happened, as of yet. However, who knows what the future holds?
 
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