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  1. #11
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    When I really want someone, and I think it's a good idea, like with my boyfriend/fiance, I will pursue. It was the boldest I've ever been, but it was risk rejection (which I gathered was unlikely, but that did nothing for the nerves) or risk never having what I want, so I picked my poison.

    In the past when merely basking in the warmth of someone's attraction to me, not really knowing if a relationship was feasible, I have allow myself to be pursued.

  2. #12
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FalseHeartDothKnow View Post
    Personally, I'd never really persue anybody because to be honest I don't have the first clue how to go about it, and there's always something inside which is like 'that'd be intrusive' even though it really isnt.
    I usually try to find ways to be helpful and useful to those I'm attracted to, even if that means they want helping to get with another woman that they like, I figure, at least they're happy.
    um wow...that must be hard.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
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  3. #13
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    I have the same dilemma that FalseHeart mentioned: contending with the desire to pursue, but to not come off as intrusive or seeming too "eager", I guess.

    To the NF's: so you'll entertain being pursued even when and maybe long after the point of disinterest? That sure could be fucking frustrating for the pursuer... Though, I'm thinking that this would vary depending on the individual and not be type related so much...?

  4. #14
    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    I think I/E has a lot to do with it, like Lady_X said. I also think intuitives are less likely to pursue others because some of them are almost content to idealize and dream about people without actually much real connection.

    Not to be sexist, but I also think gender might come into this a lot. I am not saying all girls are pursued and all guys pursue, but in my experience the onus of the pursuit does seem to be on the guy more often than not. Maybe it's just where I live, but it seems more acceptable (or at least expected) for guys to be more forward about these things. For example, I am one of the least forward people in the world and despite that I was the one who did the chasing in each instance. That being said I might HAVE to be aggressive because I don't attract girls

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever_Jung View Post
    I think I/E has a lot to do with it, like Lady_X said. I also think intuitives are less likely to pursue others because some of them are almost content to idealize and dream about people without actually much real connection.

    Not to be sexist, but I also think gender might come into this a lot. I am not saying all girls are pursued and all guys pursue, but in my experience the onus of the pursuit does seem to be on the guy more often than not. Maybe it's just where I live, but it seems more acceptable (or at least expected) for guys to be more forward about these things. For example, I am one of the least forward people in the world and despite that I was the one who did the chasing in each instance. That being said I might HAVE to be aggressive because I don't attract girls
    A little bit like George McFly in BTTF I suppose

  6. #16
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beat View Post
    I have the same dilemma that FalseHeart mentioned: contending with the desire to pursue, but to not come off as intrusive or seeming too "eager", I guess.

    To the NF's: so you'll entertain being pursued even when and maybe long after the point of disinterest? That sure could be fucking frustrating for the pursuer...
    I was thinking about flirting between two people that never intended to get the show on the road.

    If the boy actually wanted me and me alone, I wouldn't ever do that. I know how to convey the "just friends" message.

  7. #17
    One day and the next Rainne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dahlila View Post
    Ajblaise: I can definately see that.
    Rainne: It's not suprising, but I'm sure there are some other INFP's who can be the pursuer. We can be determined people
    nice =)

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beat View Post
    I have the same dilemma that FalseHeart mentioned: contending with the desire to pursue, but to not come off as intrusive or seeming too "eager", I guess.

    To the NF's: so you'll entertain being pursued even when and maybe long after the point of disinterest? That sure could be fucking frustrating for the pursuer... Though, I'm thinking that this would vary depending on the individual and not be type related so much...?
    No, never. That'd would be really harsh on the person who was pursuing me, and playing with someone's emotions is cruel...If I only liked someone as a friend I'd have to let them down gently, otherwise I'd feel like a pretty poor friend.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Neither really.

  10. #20
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beat View Post
    To the NF's: so you'll entertain being pursued even when and maybe long after the point of disinterest? That sure could be fucking frustrating for the pursuer... Though, I'm thinking that this would vary depending on the individual and not be type related so much...?
    Personally, i make my feelings very apparent if i know i am disinterested and being pursued. In a number of cases the people have continued to pursue despite what i tell them. That is frustrating
    I can definitely see the other way around being frustrating, as well. Communication is such a brilliant thing and needs to happen more frequently.
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