I instantly click with ESFxs if I'm attracted to them, but the NT/SP differences start to eat away at the attraction over time. The main issue is the N. In same cases the N is cherished, but in others, especially ESFJ, it's malnourished and I start to feel disconnected.
I seem to connect decently to NFs, especially INFJ females. We both share an interest in better people's lives and understanding them and the world. An INFJ conversation is very stimulating because NT is accentuated by contrast to the NF and the P is allowed to juggle ideas and theories around to find interesting combinations. At some point, the INFJ falls back on their value system that's steeped in cooperation and social norms whereas NTs prefer to see through and ignore those boundaries. I think disagreements are interpreted differently between the two types. I usually tend to feel closer after a disagreement while other types feel more distant.
For best friendship,
I've gravitated towards INTJs. We're both very interested in making sense of the world, and I like to use an INTJ's questions, ideas, and interpretations as springboards for my own ideas. INTJs like theory for theory's sake. They also tend to be socially awkward which opens the door to conversations analyzing dynamics and relationships, another favorite of mine.
Of course, none of these are rules and I don't prejudge people based on their type. (Much.) My best friend right now is xxFP. He doesn't exactly mirror NT too much, but he doesn't judge it either, so I'm free to be myself which is the most important factor above all else in a friendship or a relationship. My other best friend is ESFP x 100. Same story there.
I seem to have a lot of NF girlfriends altho the majority of them are NP. I have a few SJ girlfriends (I prefer I SJ's over E's) one really special ISTJ cousin and an ISTJ friend. Both are really well developed along the feeling side so that helps Interestingly enough I have only one close ESFP girlfriend and my lovely niece is ESFP. I'm getting to know my very first NT girlfriend. Actually we enjoy each others company alot (she's ENTP).
I basically get along very well with introverts and the men I seem to attract or fall for myself are always Introverted T types. I've never fallen for a guardian man they have always been either rationals or artisans. (wait I lie once when I was nineteen I fell for an ISFJ male) We're actually still friends but I would have slit my wrists if we'd gotten married. :horor:
for my life is slowed up by thought and the need to understand what I am living.
In real life interactions, for me I get along very very well with ENTP's, ESTP's, ENFP's, ESFP's and INFP's. I like INTJ's as well and I think they are the only other J's I like. I don't like other INFJ's that much in real life at all,lol. There can only be one Highlander,lol- more then one is too crowded in any given room!
I don't know if I could explain why this all is either. I know the most common thread is N and P.
I get along with anybody who has a well formed and strong sense of humor and flairful personality but isn't too much like me that I loose my sense of individuality.