I am not so sure it was the P/J divide.
We both scored quite close to 50% on that scale ..
In fact she always tested as an INFP , never once did she test as an INFJ.. she just took a function test that scored her INFP but "suggested" she could be an INFJ and she decided that was the case.
In our case it was more an Fi vs Fi and both of us perceiving the other to lack Fe.
We got along great , so I wouldn't even say we were incompatible, In fact we were the best friend that each has ever had.
neither of us wanted to face a few certain realities and by not doing so,, we tore each other apart.. we built our relationship on shaky ground and When I couldn't trust her, she needed me to and I failed.. and when I needed her to trust me , she failed.
Both of us felt like complete failures, both of us had to step outside our moral boundaries in order to be together... and doing so sent us both into shadow land. neither of us were healthy.
But you still seem to have a pretty good grip on the dynamics of things anyway.
Thanks for taking the time to share your insight.
Oh and one other question then.. So what could you tell me about projection in a situation like this?