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  1. #1
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Default Need help decrypting an ENFP

    My ENFP ex and I had a reunion last night and there was some weird transactions I am having difficulty decoding.

    1. He brought up the girl he cheated on me with when I was in hearing distance to his roommate, when he knows this topic irks me like no other.

    2. He kept trying to prove to me his Ne intelligence in a very explicit and childish manner ("acknowledge that I'm a genius").

    3. He brought up a previous argument we had about his apparent lack of empathy randomly about 4 times, although it was completely irrelevant (we discussed this last perhaps 5 months ago).

    4. He kept telling me that I was a puzzle and he has all the pieces put together, except for one elusive piece he can't figure out. He wouldn't elaborate on what that one piece was.

    5. He kept bringing up his very close friendship with a girl. He often did this in the past with other female friends....just a repetitive thinking out loud of how awesome their platonic intimacy is.

    I don't know why I'm trying to make sense of this guy. Perhaps I'm just in an unresolved NP thinking loop.

    #2 and #5 baffle me most.

    (#2) He's a very independent, emotionally controlled man. I don't see him needing my validation, but it appears to be that way.

    (#5) Is he trying to make me jealous? Perhaps he is just very proud of his friendships?

    I think perhaps he was trying to get under my skin hard core last night. It doesn't make sense to me because I was playful and emotionally light hearted with him the whole time.

    **any male insight would be appreciated**
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  2. #2
    One day and the next Rainne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    My ENFP ex and I had a reunion last night and there was some weird transactions I am having difficulty decoding.

    1. He brought up the girl he cheated on me with when I was in hearing distance to his roommate, when he knows this topic irks me like no other.

    2. He kept trying to prove to me his Ne intelligence in a very explicit and childish manner ("acknowledge that I'm a genius").

    3. He brought up a previous argument we had about his apparent lack of empathy randomly about 4 times, although it was completely irrelevant (we discussed this last perhaps 5 months ago).

    4. He kept telling me that I was a puzzle and he has all the pieces put together, except for one elusive piece he can't figure out. He wouldn't elaborate on what that one piece was.

    5. He kept bringing up his very close friendship with a girl. He often did this in the past with other female friends....just a repetitive thinking out loud of how awesome their platonic intimacy is.

    I don't know why I'm trying to make sense of this guy. Perhaps I'm just in an unresolved NP thinking loop.

    #2 and #5 baffle me most.

    (#2) He's a very independent, emotionally controlled man. I don't see him needing my validation, but it appears to be that way.

    (#5) Is he trying to make me jealous? Perhaps he is just very proud of his friendships?

    I think perhaps he was trying to get under my skin hardcore last night. It doesn't make sense to me because I was playful and emotionally light hearted with him the whole time.
    1. He probably forgot.

    2. ENFPs can be very clever

    3. He probably forgot

    4. No comment

    5. He probably wants all his ex-gf/current gf to be friends. Like one big happy gathering.

  3. #3
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    I swear this man doesn't forget a thing. Your reply to #2 doesn't explain his motives, which is what I'm looking for, although I will concede he can be quite clever.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  4. #4
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    This screams insecurity. The man wants you to think he's awesome. He brings up the girls to prove to you and himself that he doesn't need your affection when he's desperate for it (see! Other people like and respect me, why don't you! And later: who needs you anyways, *they think I'm awesome!' only to return a little later again to 'why don't you like me!!!' coz he wants it so bad' Denial and tantrums basically). And to reaffirm for himself that he's successfull with girls, denying to himself that he's vying for your approval. Then he goes on to debate issues that he's not figured out, solved with you yet, again, to either solve them now (coz he so wants you to like him and you don't coz of these things and he knows it), or reaffirm that it isn't his fault that you don't like him (coz see! you'e being unreasonable), and he's like convincing himself that he's got you all figured out coz he again wants to sort things out for which he needs that elusive piece which *you* won't give him, again projecting his frustration and the blame onto you.

    Basically, he's squirming all over the place coz he likes you still, and want your approval but cannot admit this to himself nor figure out how to make you love him, admire him and respect him, and it's driving him nutty causing him to lash out and try and reaffirm himself.

    Just my two cents.


    Edit: And fwiw, I doubt he's conscious that he's doing it, or at least not aware of the extent of the impact it's having on him. He's just reacting to conflicting emotions you apparently stir in him
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    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  5. #5
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    I agree with Satine.. he sounds very insecure.
    He also sounds like he drinks his own verbal diarrhea.

  6. #6
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    yeah, it sounds like a two-pronged approach:

    • He likes you, or he wants validation.
    • If he can't have you, then, dammit, he's also gonna want to feel superior and justified in not receiving that one.


    He's pursuing both of these at the same time.

    If you don't play his games, he's going to be pretty frustrated. And it sounds like he pretty much deserves to be.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    He probably doesnt even know for real what he's trying to achieve.. just throwing out there random stuff (random manipulations )
    i think you're reading too much into it...

  8. #8
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    Are you sure he's ENFP?
    Sounds more ENTP to me....

    #2: 'He's a very independent, emotionally controlled man' just sounds more NT to me

    #5: 'Perhaps he is just very proud of his friendships? ' sounds more Fe (thus ENTP) than Fi (ENFP)

    also the 'lack of empathy' thing, that's more Fe than Fi to me
    And the 'puzzle' thing, it's more NT to look at people as puzzles no?

    just my two cents ;-)

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by dux View Post
    Are you sure he's ENFP?
    Sounds more ENTP to me....

    #2: 'He's a very independent, emotionally controlled man' just sounds more NT to me

    #5: 'Perhaps he is just very proud of his friendships? ' sounds more Fe (thus ENTP) than Fi (ENFP)

    also the 'lack of empathy' thing, that's more Fe than Fi to me
    And the 'puzzle' thing, it's more NT to look at people as puzzles no?

    just my two cents ;-)
    Ok that's interesting.. not to derail here, but I was under the impression that Fe is the master of empathy not Fi..

  10. #10
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Both have their own way of being empathetic, each better in their own preferred situations than the other.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





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