[ENFP] Need help decrypting an ENFP

[Thessaly]

I actually agree with this. He may also be trying to figure the whole thing out. You also didn't express exactly what this "reunion" was. Was it just friends? If so he could have been expecting you to be "over" whatever it was he brought up. Especially if you broke up with him. (I don't know)

I usually have to discuss stuff over and over until I "get" it, so my guess was some of it he is still trying to figure out. And an INFP/ENFP relationship (I think) has a lot of "figuring stuff out" so he might automatically default to that.

My guess is that you can label a lot of ENFP relationship stuff as "they are immature" because we are very much out there. We usually don't hide the feelings/questionings we have (like many other types do) so we look more immature. It's too easy of a diagnosis, especially for an ENFP.

Reunion had no romantic pretense. I believe we mutually ended things, although explicitly I was the one to end it. We're not platonic friends as we do have quite a bit of chemistry still, but I have no romantic feelings for him.

I think my aloof introverted personality confuses him a bit. We're both moody, but he's a lot more explicit why. I keep things to myself and can appear a bit schizo from the outside I suppose.

I don't think that was an easy diagnose though.

/shrug

 

[CzeCze]

The funny thing is I dated an INFP and some of the things you said your ENFP did - I could see (or have seen) my INFP doing.

The 'forgetting' things part drove me nuts about the last INFP I dated. I don't think she understood that it became clear to me her 'forgetting' was directly tied in my mind to her 1) not caring enough to pay attention and 2) lying - she wasn't really 'forgetting' things so much as 'conveniently forgetting' something so she didn't have to admit to wrong doing. She was extremely irresponsible when we were dating. You said your ENFP he cheated on you? Perhaps the 'forgetting' is symptomatic tied in to irresponsible/disrespectful behavior towards you in general (in the past)?

But then, if it's been decoded, then congrats.

And in retrospect if your reunion was non romantic he was probably mentioning his female friendships because he still wants to be friends with you, which is a good (?) thing.

 

[Laurie]

I don't think she understood that it became clear to me her 'forgetting' was directly tied in my mind to her 1) not caring enough to pay attention and 2) lying - she wasn't really 'forgetting' things so much as 'conveniently forgetting' something so she didn't have to admit to wrong doing.

Ouch, the dreaded words to hear when you have an awful memory. People think that about me, that I have 'selective memory' or that I must be making it up. My Dad, Mom, brother and sister all have bad memories, too. (Only one brother has a good memory.) Eventually people catch on that I'm not making it up, but it might take a bit. One day I asked my boyfriend at the time what he had done the night before and we had gone out together. Although Thess said this guy didn't have a bad memory.

I agree with Cze Cze that if it was supposed to be "just friends" then mentioning other women shouldn't bother you, in theory.