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  1. #11
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dux View Post
    Are you sure he's ENFP?
    Sounds more ENTP to me....

    #2: 'He's a very independent, emotionally controlled man' just sounds more NT to me

    #5: 'Perhaps he is just very proud of his friendships? ' sounds more Fe (thus ENTP) than Fi (ENFP)

    also the 'lack of empathy' thing, that's more Fe than Fi to me
    And the 'puzzle' thing, it's more NT to look at people as puzzles no?

    just my two cents ;-)
    I thought he was ENTP at first, but we tested him and without a doubt he's an ENFP. He has a lot of Fi values that result in him not acting on his empathy so it doesn't appear that he has any (cruel to be kind sort of man).
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  2. #12
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    This screams insecurity. The man wants you to think he's awesome. He brings up the girls to prove to you and himself that he doesn't need your affection when he's desperate for it (see! Other people like and respect me, why don't you! And later: who needs you anyways, *they think I'm awesome!' only to return a little later again to 'why don't you like me!!!' coz he wants it so bad' Denial and tantrums basically). And to reaffirm for himself that he's successfull with girls, denying to himself that he's vying for your approval. Then he goes on to debate issues that he's not figured out, solved with you yet, again, to either solve them now (coz he so wants you to like him and you don't coz of these things and he knows it), or reaffirm that it isn't his fault that you don't like him (coz see! you'e being unreasonable), and he's like convincing himself that he's got you all figured out coz he again wants to sort things out for which he needs that elusive piece which *you* won't give him, again projecting his frustration and the blame onto you.

    Basically, he's squirming all over the place coz he likes you still, and want your approval but cannot admit this to himself nor figure out how to make you love him, admire him and respect him, and it's driving him nutty causing him to lash out and try and reaffirm himself.

    Just my two cents.


    Edit: And fwiw, I doubt he's conscious that he's doing it, or at least not aware of the extent of the impact it's having on him. He's just reacting to conflicting emotions you apparently stir in him
    Awesome analysis! Very illuminating. Thanks

    It's interesting him doing all these contradicting things, but it makes sense because he's a naturally emotional man who insists on being 100% in control of those fiery emotions. Of course there will be some confusing behavior on his part. His actions are very contrived.

    I brought it to his attention that he was acting unnaturally and playing mental games with me and he denied it saying that he's the most open with me. That makes sense if he's not conscious of his apparent bullshit.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  3. #13
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mister Eyebrows View Post
    yeah, it sounds like a two-pronged approach:

    • He likes you, or he wants validation.
    • If he can't have you, then, dammit, he's also gonna want to feel superior and justified in not receiving that one.


    He's pursuing both of these at the same time.

    If you don't play his games, he's going to be pretty frustrated. And it sounds like he pretty much deserves to be.
    Indeed.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  4. #14
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    The ENFP has been decrypted... I would have said something a bit more useful if I had found this thread earlier.

  5. #15
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    I bet! INTJs have supersonic social radars
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  6. #16
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    Haha, but we may have a lack of social skill.

  7. #17
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Nonsense! I have yet to meet an INTJ whose calm reserve I didn't like. You don't need to be an extroverted clown to be considered socially adept.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  8. #18
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    Nonsense! I have yet to meet an INTJ whose calm reserve I didn't like. You don't need to be an extroverted clown to be considered socially adept.
    Indeed we usually possess a calm exterior. Although we can appear quite stiff at times.

  9. #19
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chloee View Post
    He probably doesnt even know for real what he's trying to achieve.. just throwing out there random stuff (random manipulations )
    i think you're reading too much into it...
    I actually agree with this. He may also be trying to figure the whole thing out. You also didn't express exactly what this "reunion" was. Was it just friends? If so he could have been expecting you to be "over" whatever it was he brought up. Especially if you broke up with him. (I don't know)

    I usually have to discuss stuff over and over until I "get" it, so my guess was some of it he is still trying to figure out. And an INFP/ENFP relationship (I think) has a lot of "figuring stuff out" so he might automatically default to that.

    My guess is that you can label a lot of ENFP relationship stuff as "they are immature" because we are very much out there. We usually don't hide the feelings/questionings we have (like many other types do) so we look more immature. It's too easy of a diagnosis, especially for an ENFP.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by No Exit View Post
    Ok that's interesting.. not to derail here, but I was under the impression that Fe is the master of empathy not Fi..
    Hey, let's derail here!

    and let's enlarge Fe and Fi...

    Fe in its extreme is all about connecting with the entire world, but in the end you can't empathise with every single individual in the world, just with a few persons you really care about. So, in some way, Fe is actual kind of selfish... it's 'look at me, I'm everybody's friend! Return the favour!'... just for its own sake really. I'll scratch your back, you'll scratch mine.

    Fi in its extreme is about 'feeling' people. Even taking over their emotions (hey, INFP's where are you to back me up on this? ).

    So, where's the real empathy?

    I saw a post in some topic a while ago explaining just that, but more elaborate, and I had to agree based on my own experience.
    Fe in essence is selfish, Fi in essence is real altruism.

    I just can't help I'm INTJ, I cut the crap and call 'em as I see 'em

    And of course I'm exaggerating here, to all Fe's out there: don't shoot me! You're nice people

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