[INFP] What are some reasons INFPs aren't well liked?

[William K]

So to the original poster, you may be better liked than you realize. I think INFPs tend to put themselves down too much, or to be too conscious of their own faults.

It's the idealist part that comes with who we are. We will never meet the high standards we have set for ourselves in our minds

 

[Glycerine]

Well, in all honesty, the self-deprecation can get pretty old after awhile. Believe in yourselves!

 

[Synapse]

Well, in all honesty, the self-deprecation can get pretty old after awhile. Believe in yourselves!

Yes that 100%.

There is a reason such behaviour develops, more than just out of insecurity.

I remember that is what I did throughout high school and in later life. Takes enormous energy to relearn this and stop doing this to ourselves once learned. And what I found is that this is an extension of the demeaning environment that INFP's found themselves in. To compensate they put themselves down for assuming their ability to be flawed. That their teachers, their role models, their peers, their family, their friends looked down upon them sometimes and then they decided to subconsciously do the same to keep themselves down without thought of the esteem breaking such words have on their self development. I believe in most instant this aspect happens from some kind of abuse or health issue in their lives and the INFP's that stop doing it have learned to channel their energy differently, have matured, have lived in positive expectations, learned to express healthy thoughts and thus reframe their core beliefs about themselves accordingly.

 

[yvonne]

we're sometimes just not laid-back enough.

 

[INFtha14]

It's the idealist part that comes with who we are. We will never meet the high standards we have set for ourselves in our minds

Fear of failure is a biggy inho.

I notice whenever I try something new, in the back of my head i'm terrified of failing or screwing up in some way hence the nervous-ness/seeming to be more focused on the task then forming relationships just cause it's so overwhelming in itself.

I set very high standards for myself, and If I don't reached a certain level of competency I beat the living daylights out of myself mentally and emotionally. It's very exhausting as everything I do I see how i need to improve and when I've failed in someway I get real down on myself.

I think this is why I come off so serious when working cause I'm so focused on doing a competent job well done in my eyes *very high standards *
that I really get down in it and try my best. I probably come off alittle stressed/scatter brained at times haha.

I judge this lack of competency in everything, any little failure is blown to massive proportions in my head and I intensely focus on it, I keep reanalzying it out of frustration with myself as to detect where I went wrong, where can I improve *Fi-Si*. I'll probably cry alittle if I feel i've really let myself down or others.

I probably appear like a very serious individual when on the job as I take anything I do seriously and there's this extreme focus mode I get into.

Also on the people probably like us more then we think thing. I can believe that but also how we sometimes in the back of our minds doubt if they seriously do and I guess that's why we strive so hard to be competent cause we want to know we earned that "Excellent blah blah xD" not just out of being nice. Cause no matter how many times someone says excellent or whatever if internally I'm feeling I failed to reach some level of competency I'll still beat myself over it just the same . INFPs it's serious buisness .

We probably seem alittle distant from others too/aloof perhaps. Doesn't help were not so aware of our surroundings so that probably has us looking alittle out of step from the world at times. I've always struggled with the physical, life story.

Just thought i'd add something . Sorry if I repeated anything that's already been said.

 

[Saslou]

I don't think it's a case of not being well liked. I think (and i am only thinking of my partner here) the posture is so rigid. The constant look of seriousness. Sometimes it makes me pull away.

Others have said it .. Lighten up, have a bit of fun occasionally.

My partner when he laughs .. It warms me up inside .. He should laugh more often.

My signature says it all

 

[The Outsider]

Well, in all honesty, the self-deprecation can get pretty old after awhile.

Indeed.

 

[Valiant]

Wow, i'm surprised that this thread exists?
Who doesn't outright love INFPs?

Seriously, let's launch a crusade against them. The infidels must die
I've said it a hundred thousand times, and I will say it more again.
I, personally, love INFPs.
You guys make the world a better place.

 

[Nomorenames]

Wow, i'm surprised that this thread exists?
Who doesn't outright love INFPs?

Seriously, let's launch a crusade against them. The infidels must die
I've said it a hundred thousand times, and I will say it more again.
I, personally, love INFPs.
You guys make the world a better place.

Hmm. What's your angle?

 

[Thalassa]

I have an INFP friend IRL and he is totally awesome and I love him to death, but he's very strange. That wonderful strangeness just can't be appreciated by everyone, only those with the good sense to recognize the wonderfulness of going on crazy random adventures while listening to Tori Amos and talking about mythological creatures.

 

[Litvyak]

recognize the wonderfulness of going on crazy random adventures while listening to Tori Amos and talking about mythological creatures.

Yeah I adore this.. from a distance. Oh, and I'd never admit it

 

[Valiant]

Hmm. What's your angle?

I'm a collector of NFPs, because you are charming, cute and really freaking odd

 

[Arclight]

Wow, i'm surprised that this thread exists?
Who doesn't outright love INFPs?

Seriously, let's launch a crusade against them. The infidels must die
I've said it a hundred thousand times, and I will say it more again.
I, personally, love INFPs.
You guys make the world a better place.

Hmm remember this.. A religious zealot is most likely to be an INFP.. and I don't mean the holy roller type on the PTA or the soccer mom who also teaches Sunday school.. I mean the zealot type. The type that Kills in the name of .. or dies in the name of. Ever see 12 Monkeys? The guy who starts the apocalypse is probably an INFP..

Scary stuff, kids.

 

[INFtha14]

I'm a collector of NFPs, because you are charming, cute and really freaking odd

You are one wise man.
Finally someone who appreciates the INFP oddness hah.

INTJs = .

 

[CrystalViolet]

Hmm remember this.. A religious zealot is most likely to be an INFP.. and I don't mean the holy roller type on the PTA or the soccer mom who also teaches Sunday school.. I mean the zealot type. The type that Kills in the name of .. or dies in the name of. Ever see 12 Monkeys? The guy who starts the apocalypse is probably an INFP..

Scary stuff, kids.

We all have a dark side At least no-one can accuse us of lacking conviction.

 

[yvonne]

I'm a collector of NFPs, because you are charming, cute and really freaking odd

and i really, really have become to love INTJs. you have what i don't.

well, you guys are our "benefactors" after all... i only hope i have something to give to you ppl, too.

 

[yvonne]

must be this:

"INFPs advise INTJs using their primary process (Fi), which, according to beebe's archetypes, is the INTJs "Child" process.
In the same way, INTJs advise INFPs using their auxiliary process (Te), which is the INFPs "Inferior" process.
They both communicate using N (Ne/Ni), making things easier for both of them."

 

[flameskull95]

Truth is, a lot of other types would fit better in the title of this thread.

Truth is, shut up we are selfish and we have issues.

 

[Arkhangelsk]

I really like INFPs, both female and male ones. They could be more realistic and objective though. I've also noticed that they tend to have strange mood swings, and if they dislike something, they can be extremely pricky about it.

This sounds exactly like what my INTJ roommate would say about me.

 

[grey bottom socks]

I don't mean that all INFPs are disliked by everyone, but what are some of the traits that INFPs share that can make some INFPs unpopular?

I'm in college now, near to finishing my sophomore year, and I still cannot make sense of it. I mean, I was really unpopular in elementary/primary school, then in high school was all right - not that popular or well-liked but about average.

Is it going to be like a popularity contest in the business world, too? Are there going to be cliques in the workplace?

1) we are inconsistent and sporadic in behavior
2) we might seem a bit neurotic
3) we are intense