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  1. #81
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueStone View Post
    So to the original poster, you may be better liked than you realize. I think INFPs tend to put themselves down too much, or to be too conscious of their own faults.
    It's the idealist part that comes with who we are. We will never meet the high standards we have set for ourselves in our minds
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  2. #82
    Glycerine
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    Well, in all honesty, the self-deprecation can get pretty old after awhile. Believe in yourselves!

  3. #83
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    Well, in all honesty, the self-deprecation can get pretty old after awhile. Believe in yourselves!
    Yes that 100%.

    There is a reason such behaviour develops, more than just out of insecurity.

    I remember that is what I did throughout high school and in later life. Takes enormous energy to relearn this and stop doing this to ourselves once learned. And what I found is that this is an extension of the demeaning environment that INFP's found themselves in. To compensate they put themselves down for assuming their ability to be flawed. That their teachers, their role models, their peers, their family, their friends looked down upon them sometimes and then they decided to subconsciously do the same to keep themselves down without thought of the esteem breaking such words have on their self development. I believe in most instant this aspect happens from some kind of abuse or health issue in their lives and the INFP's that stop doing it have learned to channel their energy differently, have matured, have lived in positive expectations, learned to express healthy thoughts and thus reframe their core beliefs about themselves accordingly.

  4. #84
    A passer by yvonne's Avatar
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    we're sometimes just not laid-back enough.
    Enneagram 5w4.

  5. #85
    :) INFtha14's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by William K View Post
    It's the idealist part that comes with who we are. We will never meet the high standards we have set for ourselves in our minds
    Fear of failure is a biggy inho.

    I notice whenever I try something new, in the back of my head i'm terrified of failing or screwing up in some way hence the nervous-ness/seeming to be more focused on the task then forming relationships just cause it's so overwhelming in itself.

    I set very high standards for myself, and If I don't reached a certain level of competency I beat the living daylights out of myself mentally and emotionally. It's very exhausting as everything I do I see how i need to improve and when I've failed in someway I get real down on myself.

    I think this is why I come off so serious when working cause I'm so focused on doing a competent job well done in my eyes *very high standards *
    that I really get down in it and try my best. I probably come off alittle stressed/scatter brained at times haha.

    I judge this lack of competency in everything, any little failure is blown to massive proportions in my head and I intensely focus on it, I keep reanalzying it out of frustration with myself as to detect where I went wrong, where can I improve *Fi-Si*. I'll probably cry alittle if I feel i've really let myself down or others.

    I probably appear like a very serious individual when on the job as I take anything I do seriously and there's this extreme focus mode I get into.

    Also on the people probably like us more then we think thing. I can believe that but also how we sometimes in the back of our minds doubt if they seriously do and I guess that's why we strive so hard to be competent cause we want to know we earned that "Excellent blah blah xD" not just out of being nice. Cause no matter how many times someone says excellent or whatever if internally I'm feeling I failed to reach some level of competency I'll still beat myself over it just the same . INFPs it's serious buisness .

    We probably seem alittle distant from others too/aloof perhaps. Doesn't help were not so aware of our surroundings so that probably has us looking alittle out of step from the world at times. I've always struggled with the physical, life story.

    Just thought i'd add something . Sorry if I repeated anything that's already been said.
    What is Feeling?
    Feeling is primarily a process.....that imparts to the content a definite value in the sense of acceptance or rejection. In the same way that thinking organizes the contents of consciousness under concepts, feeling arranges them according to their value. Feeling, like thinking, is a rational function, since values in general are assigned according to the laws of reason...
    (Carl Jung, Psychological Types, Chapter XI - Definitions)

  6. #86
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    I don't think it's a case of not being well liked. I think (and i am only thinking of my partner here) the posture is so rigid. The constant look of seriousness. Sometimes it makes me pull away.

    Others have said it .. Lighten up, have a bit of fun occasionally.

    My partner when he laughs .. It warms me up inside .. He should laugh more often.

    My signature says it all
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  7. #87
    Senior Member The Outsider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    Well, in all honesty, the self-deprecation can get pretty old after awhile.
    Indeed.

  8. #88
    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    Wow, i'm surprised that this thread exists?
    Who doesn't outright love INFPs?

    Seriously, let's launch a crusade against them. The infidels must die
    I've said it a hundred thousand times, and I will say it more again.
    I, personally, love INFPs.
    You guys make the world a better place.

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

  9. #89
    Member Nomorenames's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YourLocalJesus View Post
    Wow, i'm surprised that this thread exists?
    Who doesn't outright love INFPs?

    Seriously, let's launch a crusade against them. The infidels must die
    I've said it a hundred thousand times, and I will say it more again.
    I, personally, love INFPs.
    You guys make the world a better place.
    Hmm. What's your angle?

  10. #90
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    I have an INFP friend IRL and he is totally awesome and I love him to death, but he's very strange. That wonderful strangeness just can't be appreciated by everyone, only those with the good sense to recognize the wonderfulness of going on crazy random adventures while listening to Tori Amos and talking about mythological creatures.

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