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[INFP] What are some reasons INFPs aren't well liked?

Nomorenames

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I think ISPs suffer from the same problem.

It's only a problem for other people.

Pshaw- there isn't anything much better than meeting up with a friend, getting something to drink/eat and then laying down on the grass at the nearest park to just chillax.
 

Stanton Moore

morose bourgeoisie
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An INFP can use their "confidant" persona to advantage in the workplace. People like to talk and be listened to. It can make you a lot of important contacts.

HAHA! Yeah, it's great to have so many women who at work want to talk to you. Trouble is, they're all married.
 

Stanton Moore

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From the male info perspective: women can smell anxiety, so I limit my public appearances.
 

Nomorenames

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If you want more reasons you can find them on this thread and its sequel. 45 pages of bonus content!

You know when you're looking down at your belly button and you discover the source of your itching is a mosquito bite? You know how sometimes you keep scratching until a scab forms, and how, for some reason, you feel compelled to continuously peel that scab off? Even after it doesn't really itch anymore?

yeah.
 

JivinJeffJones

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For re-opening threads from over a year ago usually. ;)

I didn't re-open them. I just pointed them out for the benefit of the original poster in case he actually wanted more info and wasn't just feeling a bit sorry for himself. ;)
 
G

Glycerine

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I didn't re-open them. I just pointed them out for the benefit of the original poster in case he actually wanted more info and wasn't just feeling a bit sorry for himself. ;)
haha I was just coming w/ a BS reason so it's all good. I didn't even see your post.
 

BlueScreen

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I don't mean that all INFPs are disliked by everyone, but what are some of the traits that INFPs share that can make some INFPs unpopular?

I'm in college now, near to finishing my sophomore year, and I still cannot make sense of it. I mean, I was really unpopular in elementary/primary school, then in high school was all right - not that popular or well-liked but about average.

Is it going to be like a popularity contest in the business world, too? Are there going to be cliques in the workplace?

They don't need to love you, just believe you are competent and feel comfortable working with you. Also if you get there on merit it is worth a lot more. Just relate to people in daily work. Do your best at things. Form friendships when you like hanging out with someone. Form working relationships where they are needed.

The INFP trait that is most likely to make you unpopular is believing they won't like you before you give it a chance. INFPs are a likeable bunch. I've also found work to be quite accepting of most types. Most people who go anywhere have grown out of the school stuff.
 

William K

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"What do you wanna do?"

"I dunno, what do you wanna do?"

"I'm cool with anything, really."

"Is there anything you wanna do?"

.....

"You're okay with this? Really? For sure?"

:)

Great, now I'm stuck with the vulture part of "Jungle Book" replaying in my head... :tongue:
 

William K

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The INFP trait that is most likely to make you unpopular is believing they won't like you before you give it a chance. INFPs are a likeable bunch. I've also found work to be quite accepting of most types. Most people who go anywhere have grown out of the school stuff.

Yeah, the jumping to conclusions and seeing things that aren't there is a tough thing to overcome...
 

CrystalViolet

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...and no it is not enough to just sit in the corner and "look pretty." Fe is not easy for me and this (and lots of it) is what people, men and women expect from women.

Agree with this, people really don't like it when you dance to your own drum beat.
 

FalseHeartDothKnow

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Perhaps also because we can sometimes convince ourselves we're not well liked, whether there's truth in that or not. I imagine can make it kinda awkward for the other person/party, as there has to be a certain vibe which this sends out.
 

CzeCze

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I will preface by saying I am drawn to certain INFPs for romantic relationship and friendship. Or people whom I perceive to have a lot of Fi. And even though I personally am really drawn to them or value our friendship, I know these specific INFPs are not everyone's cup of tea.

I think aside from the 'outlier' personality thing -i.e. not stepping in line with popular convention and society (which can be said is an issue with ENXPs) is that INFPs like INTPs are generally ill-suited to navigate social waters and communicate their decisions/behavior to the outer world clearly.

Being Fi dom myself, I know how 'mercurial' and 'quirky' my behavior - which is caused by my internal thinking/feeling/processing centers - can seem. However, being an extravert and generally social I can compensate better than an INFP can for my inner quirkiness by adjusting my outside behavior to be more consistent and reliable and *understandable*. I also think I can predict and 'see' more clearly what other people are expecting and what social repercussions my actions will have and head off potential trouble by vocalizing. I think INFPs not as much.

And INFP by choice and nature don't generally make the effort to explain to the world why they do what they do. On a personalized level, this just means that sometimes an INFP will be hot and cold or 'dislike' you for no reason. Sometimes they actually don't like you, sometimes it is just general aloofness.

It's easy to misread an INFP which I think happens often, but I think often the INFP doesn't make an effort to be understood or see how their behavior is affecting other people. There is a definite sense of being somewhat apart or in their own heads. So I don't think this means people 'dislike' INFPs, just that there isn't much sense or effort made by others after a while to try to connect with an 'uknowable/unpredictable element'.

Basically, INFPs can seem like islands, oblivious or uncaring about the worlds around them and are poor commnicators. I have seen INFPs be asked point blank questions and 'lie' by saying something is fine or they 'don't care' about something. When they obviously do. They can blow off other people's efforts to try to reach them and talk to them.

You have to be very close or very trusted by an INFP to be told exactly what is going on inside them. Since most people aren't privy to this information, to other people an INFPs behavior can seem all kinds of puzzling and put further distance between them.

Sooo, I don't think this means INFPs are 'disliked' just not as socially connect in general. And definitely often misunderstood.

In general 'prickliness' and 'aloofness' and 'out of it-ness' are not welcomed with hugs and parties. I think INTPs also tend to suffer the same fates for a lot of the above reasons.

I don't think it's anything to worry about as most of the time being introverts and Fi led, I think INFPs are quite fine with the way they operate and don't have a desire to be known widely. However, I have definitely seen cases of unecessary friction and misunderstanding happen with some INFP lovers and friends where they honestly don't seem to see the part they played in it.

Then again, I've had pretty tumultuous dating situations with INFPs and my suspected INFP friends have strong personalities so perhaps all the above doesn't apply in general to other INFPs.
 

CzeCze

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Perhaps also because we can sometimes convince ourselves we're not well liked, whether there's truth in that or not. I imagine can make it kinda awkward for the other person/party, as there has to be a certain vibe which this sends out.

Also this!

You INFPs are way too humble for your own goods. :)
 

BlueStone

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I recently went to two reunions: one for high school (not an official reunion, just a cocktail party of like 30 people) and another for a group of people I'd worked with a few years ago. I was stunned at how happy people were to see me. (I know that sounds arrogant or weird, but I just didn't think I was particularly liked.) I'd thought I'd go, say hi, stand in the corner with one friend. But I had a good time at both events and reconnected with some cool people. But when I said later to a high school friend that I thought no one in high school liked me, she laughed and said, "you were always on your own planet, but you were funny and everyone thought you were cool." I never knew.

So to the original poster, you may be better liked than you realize. I think INFPs tend to put themselves down too much, or to be too conscious of their own faults.
 

Scott N Denver

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I recently went to two reunions: one for high school (not an official reunion, just a cocktail party of like 30 people) and another for a group of people I'd worked with a few years ago. I was stunned at how happy people were to see me. (I know that sounds arrogant or weird, but I just didn't think I was particularly liked.) I'd thought I'd go, say hi, stand in the corner with one friend. But I had a good time at both events and reconnected with some cool people. But when I said later to a high school friend that I thought no one in high school liked me, she laughed and said, "you were always on your own planet, but you were funny and everyone thought you were cool." I never knew.

So to the original poster, you may be better liked than you realize. I think INFPs tend to put themselves down too much, or to be too conscious of their own faults.

I 100% agree with this post, with the single caveat that IME many NTJ's tend to not like me, and vice versa
 
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