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  1. #11
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    It's got something to do with the aloofness combined with the Fi intensity.

    Plenty of folks here are not shy about saying why they don't like INFPs, read their postings. PM me and I'll point you to the threads/posts.
    I think this is pretty much it. I went to a group get together this weekend. One guy there was very quiet (don't know his type), of course he and I talked, since I have a 'quiet person' magnet on me, but he didn't really talk to anyone else, the entire weekend. It's hard to make friends if you don't even talk to people.

    I'm not sure if you are having "making friends" issues or what, just find some other weirdos to hang out with, that's what I do in situations of people I don't get along with.

  2. #12
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
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    I would say that cliques in general aren't a huge problem in most (healthy) work places for a few reasons. First, you are hired to get something done, and anything that interferes too much with that is counter-productive. Secondly, as an adult you are (usually) free to quit or transfer if you are too unhappy. Thirdly, adults usually have other avenues for socializing, and the limited time available for work socializing is just not that important.

    I think cliques can become more influential in work situations where job performance is difficult to measure, so politicking comes more into play (such as in large companies with lots of middle management). Some companies have expectations of closer social bonding, so a private-ish INFP might find such expectations intrusive in those companies.

    Cliques are worst when there is no shared task, not enough to do and no way to leave (such as in prisons or middle schools).

  3. #13
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    People hate me because I'm beautiful.
    Awwww. I may hate you because of your beauty, but I love your amazing insight and advice. yap! yap!

    Quote Originally Posted by Seymour View Post
    I would say that cliques in general aren't a huge problem in most (healthy) work places for a few reasons. First, you are hired to get something done, and anything that interferes too much with that is counter-productive. Secondly, as an adult you are (usually) free to quit or transfer if you are too unhappy. Thirdly, adults usually have other avenues for socializing, and the limited time available for work socializing is just not that important.

    I think cliques can become more influential in work situations where job performance is difficult to measure, so politicking comes more into play (such as in large companies with lots of middle management). Some companies have expectations of closer social bonding, so a private-ish INFP might find such expectations intrusive in those companies.

    Cliques are worst when there is no shared task, not enough to do and no way to leave (such as in prisons or middle schools).
    I wish I could support Seymour in this, however my company is totally socially driven. The few INFPs we have say very little, and are almost invisible.

    To be honest they range from standoffish to even having made a few somewhat prickly comments about me. One said I was that "Loud hippie who laughs all the time". For some reason this kind of hurt my feelings as I hadnt ever done anything to this person and it seemed kinda weird. It is kind of true but just sounded funny-kinda snooty?

    Here? well-to be totally honest (because I changed my mind about this last week)-sometimes I sense comments made that are a bit passive aggressive. I guess if I was going to say something about another person I would do so very directly, otherwise I just dont say anything. And honestly I dont really think anything either-I pretty much say what i think.

    But I spent all of last week with two INFPs and I learned so much from them-I REALLY valued their insight. Yet they never said anything directly to me-but advised me directly all the same. It was the same sort of sideways, Ne-remark I see written here, but spoken it wasnt at all offensive-more like gentle guidance. Whereas written it comes across harsher and more judgmental-more passive aggressive.

    (Sorry i dont mean to offend, just honestly let you see what I observe. No judgment intended, still trying to understand this interaction better)

  4. #14
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    I wish I could support Seymour in this, however my company is totally socially driven. The few INFPs we have say very little, and are almost invisible.
    No problem... experiences vary. What kind of organization do you work in?

  5. #15
    heart on fire
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    ^^ Oh, I am never invisible. Someone's always got a problem with me.

  6. #16
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    I guess I owe this question a serious answer while I eat my green beans.

    Quote Originally Posted by sgman View Post
    I don't mean that all INFPs are disliked by everyone, but what are some of the traits that INFPs share that can make some INFPs unpopular?
    Every INFP I've known in real life has been pretty well liked. They were unpopular because they were too busy dancing to the beat of their own drummer, not getting out enough, or simply acting stand-offish to strangers, regardless of whether or not that was their intention. Yet they had a tendency to win over most people that took the time to get to know them.

    Another thing to consider is that becoming popular takes certain types of work, and most INFPs aren't inclined to do things like calling their friends, going out whenever they are invited to, initiating conversations, and initiating group activities.

    Is it going to be like a popularity contest in the business world, too? Are there going to be cliques in the workplace?
    More likely than not. That's just how humans are. There's a different type of finesse required at the work place, though.

  7. #17
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    I find it's all about the people you're around and how much you do/don't rock the boat. Because of this I've been worried less about being liked by many and more about liking the few.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  8. #18
    No Cigar Litvyak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    There are cliques everywhere.
    You must rise above the need to belong to someone.
    Belong to yourself, belong to your passions.
    I couldn't agree more.

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Yes. People tend to hire someone they like (which is understandable), not necessarily the best match for the work.
    No, it is not understandable at all. I sincerely hope business leaders are more rational and capable than putting their less competent buddies in important positions. Is he competent? If the answer is yes, who the hell cares if I like the guy or not?
    Trust is, of course, another issue.

    Back on track:

    I really like INFPs, both female and male ones. They could be more realistic and objective though. I've also noticed that they tend to have strange mood swings, and if they dislike something, they can be extremely pricky about it.

    On a more interesting note: we're both scatterbrained, but in a different way. I still have to figure this one out.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    ^ That's why I like INTJs.

    NO! It is not acceptable for adults in the professional world to act like teenagers.
    But it happens.

    For every year of my life since I can remember - I have always had one or two extremely close friends and spend much of the time with them.

    I have never been popular and I have never been 'known' enough to be liked. Middle school and high school made me feel like a complete alien. I started a thread a few weeks ago about how INFPs are perceived where I said that my close isfj friend told me I appear very stuck-up, which is completely unintentional.

    The INFPs that I have observed have been all very reserved no matter if they seem friendly, there is a protective wall around them and so, it probably discourages most people because it is hard to predict their reaction/response.

    People also, I have noticed, likes to feel encouraged and be placed at ease, which would use a lot of an INFP's energy. And I personally find that sort of thing worthless. No need to be mean, but there is no need to coddle people's egos.

    I'd say the number one thing is reserve-ness.

  10. #20
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Maybe we are overcomplicating things a bit. IMHO, it is because people really don't know you.

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

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