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  1. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emmilou View Post
    Everything relates to your own experience somehow. Just once I'd like an INFP to say, "I have no idea what that would feel like!" Seriously guys, Can't I experience something completely unrelated to your experiences!?
    HAHAHA!

    We're old souls?

  2. #112
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    Quote Originally Posted by angell_m View Post
    HAHAHA!

    We're old souls?
    You're supposed to say: Ugh girl, I know exactly what that's like. This one time I was writing a poem...

  3. #113
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    If we can't relate we give zero sympathy. Actually, we would just stop listening. Sorry!

  4. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    If we can't relate we give zero sympathy. Actually, we would just stop listening. Sorry!
    As long as I don't have to hear about your novel or your dream interpretations, it's a deal!

  5. #115
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emmilou View Post
    As long as I don't have to hear about your unfinished novel or your dream interpretations, it's a deal!
    Fixed. This is an INFP you're talking to, remember.

  6. #116
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SecondBest View Post
    Without reading the thread, here are my thoughts.

    1. We're usually depressed.
    2. We are intense.
    3. We're generally flaky.
    4. We're capable of giving a lot of warmth to others, and then walk away without thinking about it or realizing what we're doing. Gives others the feeling of having their chair pulled out underneath them. I understand how much this must suck. I try to be careful in this respect though I have my moments.
    I disagree with number 1. I think we are often not assertive enough for others, and that we spend a lot of time reflecting/pondering/wondering/soul-searching etc, whereas others are "busy" "doing" things. We see excessively ponderous and not engaged enough in the current at-the-moment activities. At least, I've seen that as the case many times.


    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    I think we're liked okay. Maybe not as respected as we'd like, but still liked.
    I strongly concur with this


    Quote Originally Posted by Wonkavision View Post
    Aren't INFPs pretty much liked by everyone?

    It seems like they might occasionally go unnoticed, but it would be very hard to dislike them, wouldn't it?

    Unless they've got serious mental problems, INFPs don't really give a reason for anyone to dislike them.

    And there are PLENTY of reasons why people would LIKE them.

    They're generally easy-going, accomodating, supportive, pleasant and cooperative with everyone, at least on the surface (which is all that really counts to most people), plus they're unique and interesting, and have a kind of goofy charm, and they're very good listeners.

    All of these qualities together results in being pretty much liked by everyone.


    Or am I wrong?
    It depends on *why* the relationship in qstn exists. Personally, I've had lots of experiences, usually work-related, where basically people''s attitude is "I don't give a darn about you, and there is no 'us', now quit being all personal and go away and do your job", and when those peopel don't like you it seems to be a combo of 1) your too personal and/or 2) your not assertive enough for them. Not everyone wants to deal with a FP approach. Plenty of "practical" "pragmatic" "down to earth" people will see NP as "too flighty" "not reliable" etc. However, when people want harmony or nurturing or someone to listen to their feelings, or a light and friendly mood, or stuff like that, then yes I think we shine in those sorts of roles. "pushover" "wimpy" "soft" "not assertive enough" "too caring" "too passive" are all reasons I've heard people not like [IN]FP's, and usually its [E][N]TJ's saying those sorts of things.

  7. #117
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SecondBest View Post
    Problem is though that, depending on the INFP, you don't realize that you've done this and the other person, more often than not, has become attached to you as a result of this euphoric feeling you've given them. You don't realize this, you walk away, and they're forced to let go of the attachment. Or you do realize it, and walk away anyway, because who wants someone else clinging to them like that?
    I've really only had this problem in the realm of romance, where I find it hard to say no and unintentionally lead people on. Generally, people don't attach that easily to me, nor I to them. I do get the "strangers telling me their problems" phenomena that many INFXs report, but sometimes I feel I'm being used for free therapy, & then once relieved of their bottled up emotion, the person goes on their merry way.

    People like to make fun of INFPs and call them doormats. But you can always hurt someone by pulling the doormat from underneath them while they're standing on it. That's the thing non-INFPs don't realize. And often times, it can be more devastating than any direct violent action.
    I'm nothing near a doormat, and I can't imagine anyone viewing me that way. I've been called many unflattering things: stubborn, self-absorbed, and cold, but never a doormat. Again, the closest I've come to that is pity-dating.


    Quote Originally Posted by Emmilou View Post
    Everything relates to your own experience somehow. Just once I'd like an INFP to say, "I have no idea what that would feel like!" Seriously guys, Can't I experience something completely unrelated to your experiences!?
    It's not experience......that sounds like an SFP to me. I relate it to a feeling I have or have had, because I don't need to have gone through what you've gone through to get the feel of it. That's how my FiNe empathy works - vivid imagining, experiencing the broad range of human emotion in fine detail through a world in my head. The thing is, it is rare for me not to have an idea of what something feels like. However, I have definitely uttered words along those lines though. I'm not one to interject with my own experience because it has a tendency to move the focus onto myself (which is not very comforting to someone else), and of course, my idea can be wrong. Generally, I try and repeat back to someone their expression to verify if my idea is correct. Sometimes I help people articulate their feelings, which helps them work through them and find a solution.

    When people relate though, they are just trying to make you feel you are not alone, and it can even serve to bond people, but I understand how it can seem invalidating, and well, annoying.

    /tangent
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  8. #118
    Senior Member You's Avatar
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    I rather not be a doormat or considered cold. These are some pretty lame descriptions of human beings.
    Oh, its
    You
    ....

  9. #119
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    It's not experience......that sounds like an SFP to me. I relate it to a feeling I have or have had, because I don't need to have gone through what you've gone through to get the feel of it. That's how my FiNe empathy works - vivid imagining, experiencing the broad range of human emotion in fine detail through a world in my head. The thing is, it is rare for me not to have an idea of what something feels like. However, I have definitely uttered words along those lines though. I'm not one to interject with my own experience because it has a tendency to move the focus onto myself (which is not very comforting to someone else), and of course, my idea can be wrong. Generally, I try and repeat back to someone their expression to verify if my idea is correct. Sometimes I help people articulate their feelings, which helps them work through them and find a solution.

    When people relate though, they are just trying to make you feel you are not alone, and it can even serve to bond people, but I understand how it can seem invalidating, and well, annoying.

    /tangent

    Yeah you guys are usually very good at it actually, INFP's don't usually make you feel weird about your feelings. And I like it when people relate to me and/or mirror what I am saying, just sometimes I want to feel special

  10. #120
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emmilou View Post
    As long as I don't have to hear about your unfinished novel or your dream interpretations, it's a deal!
    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    Fixed. This is an INFP you're talking to, remember.
    :yim_rolling_on_the_
    :yim_rolling_on_the_
    :yim_rolling_on_the_

    Relating! Relating!

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