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  1. #101
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    Without reading the thread, here are my thoughts.

    1. We're usually depressed.
    2. We are intense.
    3. We're generally flaky.
    4. We're capable of giving a lot of warmth to others, and then walk away without thinking about it or realizing what we're doing. Gives others the feeling of having their chair pulled out underneath them. I understand how much this must suck. I try to be careful in this respect though I have my moments.

  2. #102
    Junior Member grey bottom socks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SecondBest View Post
    Without reading the thread, here are my thoughts.

    1. We're usually depressed.
    2. We are intense.
    3. We're generally flaky.
    4. We're capable of giving a lot of warmth to others, and then walk away without thinking about it or realizing what we're doing. Gives others the feeling of having their chair pulled out underneath them. I understand how much this must suck. I try to be careful in this respect though I have my moments.
    SB:

    Can you please elaborate with point #4. I kind of understand, but not completely. You mean like teasing or too much, too soon (see below)?

    For me, I express what I 'see', feel, and intuit at that moment, about/to that person (if we are discussing them), and share my 'thoughts.' This is a stored, build-up of outpour, so to speak.

    I rarely physically touch others, usually only family members and close friends, if the situation calls for it.

    I find it hard to regulate my release of intense-tions, most of the time. But again, I would only show this side of me to individuals I cared (enough) for. I might do a disappearing act, because moments later I question whether I over-reacted, possibly overwhelmed the other person, or exposed myself too much, too soon. OR I start sensing the other person thinks me 'funny' acting.

    I hope this makes sense.
    Last edited by grey bottom socks; 08-30-2010 at 08:20 PM. Reason: mispellings

  3. #103
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    Yeah, what you're saying definitely makes sense.

    This may very well be a personal thing with me rather than a general INFP thing, but like you said I found it difficult in the past to regulate this kind of intense sympathy or compassion, for lack of a better term. And yes, I'd react the same way, because I feel like I may have overwhelmed the other person AND exposed myself too soon.

    Even now, I tend to avoid certain questions on this forum because it brings out a side of me I wasn't ready to share with the world again, but I've found it difficult lately as the strength i had to regulate certain aspects of who I am is dwindling with each passing day. But, I digress.

    The point is - these "release of intense emotions" you're talking about does have an overwhelming effect on the other person - and it's usually a good and euphoric feeling. Problem is though that, depending on the INFP, you don't realize that you've done this and the other person, more often than not, has become attached to you as a result of this euphoric feeling you've given them. You don't realize this, you walk away, and they're forced to let go of the attachment. Or you do realize it, and walk away anyway, because who wants someone else clinging to them like that?

    To use the chair analogy, you're providing yourself as the chair. They sit on you without you realizing they have cuz INFPs, I think, are very used to being sat on. You get up to get a glass of water and they've fallen on their ass and are mad at you for it.

    People like to make fun of INFPs and call them doormats. But you can always hurt someone by pulling the doormat from underneath them while they're standing on it. That's the thing non-INFPs don't realize. And often times, it can be more devastating than any direct violent action.

  4. #104
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    I think we're liked okay. Maybe not as respected as we'd like, but still liked.

  5. #105
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    They're too cute for their own good, enough to drive you insane!

    Kinda like this:
    [youtube="y4rMkIZv_nk"]INFPs![/youtube]

  6. #106
    Junior Member grey bottom socks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SecondBest View Post
    Yeah, what you're saying definitely makes sense.

    This may very well be a personal thing with me rather than a general INFP thing, but like you said I found it difficult in the past to regulate this kind of intense sympathy or compassion, for lack of a better term. And yes, I'd react the same way, because I feel like I may have overwhelmed the other person AND exposed myself too soon.

    Even now, I tend to avoid certain questions on this forum because it brings out a side of me I wasn't ready to share with the world again, but I've found it difficult lately as the strength i had to regulate certain aspects of who I am is dwindling with each passing day. But, I digress.

    The point is - these "release of intense emotions" you're talking about does have an overwhelming effect on the other person - and it's usually a good and euphoric feeling. Problem is though that, depending on the INFP, you don't realize that you've done this and the other person, more often than not, has become attached to you as a result of this euphoric feeling you've given them. You don't realize this, you walk away, and they're forced to let go of the attachment. Or you do realize it, and walk away anyway, because who wants someone else clinging to them like that?

    To use the chair analogy, you're providing yourself as the chair. They sit on you without you realizing they have cuz INFPs, I think, are very used to being sat on. You get up to get a glass of water and they've fallen on their ass and are mad at you for it.

    People like to make fun of INFPs and call them doormats. But you can always hurt someone by pulling the doormat from underneath them while they're standing on it. That's the thing non-INFPs don't realize. And often times, it can be more devastating than any direct violent action.

    Wow! Where to begin? =0_o=

    I can definitely relate to many of these posts.

    I allowed myself to get burned badly first time around, and hopefully I've learned my lesson about becoming someone's doormat. I can conjure past negative 'emotions' fairly well, and I never want to go down that ugly unbecoming path, ...ever again.

    My pride, paranoia, and stubborness have kept me intact, so far. I have trust issues, so I don't let people in easily. It's only after I get a good enough read on a potential person, do I actually consider, letting them in.

    So maybe these demonstrations/outpours is level 2 going on 3. If they respond well (i.e., reciprocate, self disclose, empathize, etc.) a relationship starts solidifying.

    I don't like keeping tabs, but you have to look for mutual care & concern and a balance of give and take. If you are aware of your weaknesses, work on them and improve yourself, for you.

    I think this thread is proof that we usually mean well and have good intentions, but most times we are misunderstood by others. I hate to say the word, but we need to work on our boundaries.


    p.s. I'm listening to R.E.M.'s tune 'Everybody Hurts'

  7. #107
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Aren't INFPs pretty much liked by everyone?

    It seems like they might occasionally go unnoticed, but it would be very hard to dislike them, wouldn't it?

    Unless they've got serious mental problems, INFPs don't really give a reason for anyone to dislike them.

    And there are PLENTY of reasons why people would LIKE them.

    They're generally easy-going, accomodating, supportive, pleasant and cooperative with everyone, at least on the surface (which is all that really counts to most people), plus they're unique and interesting, and have a kind of goofy charm, and they're very good listeners.

    All of these qualities together results in being pretty much liked by everyone.


    Or am I wrong?


    Quote Originally Posted by sgman View Post

    Is it going to be like a popularity contest in the business world, too? Are there going to be cliques in the workplace?
    Unfortunately, yes. Absolutely.
    __________________


    I'M OUTTA HERE.

    IT'S BEEN FUN.

    TAKE CARE.

    PEACE OUT!!!


  8. #108
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    We are very bad with instructions, directions and numbers. Inferior Te/Si. Unless they have a personal importance to us. This may be very frustrating to some, especially infps' bosses/co-workers.

    We can go into our quiet/withdrawn moods easily making people awkward/uncomfortable because they are not sure how to respond/deal.

    But we make up for it because we are SO cute even when we are mad/indignant. I use my cute-ness to my full advantage. Also, we are thoughtful, loyal, intelligent...etc...etc.

  9. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by sgman View Post
    I don't mean that all INFPs are disliked by everyone, but what are some of the traits that INFPs share that can make some INFPs unpopular?

    I'm in college now, near to finishing my sophomore year, and I still cannot make sense of it. I mean, I was really unpopular in elementary/primary school, then in high school was all right - not that popular or well-liked but about average.

    Is it going to be like a popularity contest in the business world, too? Are there going to be cliques in the workplace?
    I was one of the popular kids in grade school, middle school, and high school. I just never realized it until I got older.

    I was competitive and hot tempered in grade school, so I was often picked on for being cocky and precocious (mostly by adults). In middle school I was picked on for being "different" and by that I mean my dialect (I moved around from city to city a lot, and dialects has a lot to say on status in Norway... girls dig my dialect.. boys envy it). Except my last two years in middle school, that's when nobody picked on me, ever. And in high school I was picked on for, appearantly, being "cute" and "nice".

  10. #110
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    Everything relates to your own experience somehow. Just once I'd like an INFP to say, "I have no idea what that would feel like!" Seriously guys, Can't I experience something completely unrelated to your experiences!?

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