For someone like me who can be utterly oblivious to the outer world/immediate surroundings and frequently lost up in my head, I find that I'm sometimes almost paralyzingly body conscious.
Let me give an example.
Ladies, the dreaded Pap Smear. I had one scheduled for today and I had to reschedule it due to sudden circumstances, but I noticed the week before the test that I was silently freaking out. And I don't mean just a little bit. Exposure on that level causes me to almost go into a panic attack. My ENFP twin doesn't have this problem. She minds the physical discomfort of the test. I mind the intrusion.
I had no idea I would be so upset and panicked by the idea of such a routine annoyance. I've always been very uptight about how I look. I've suffered a great deal of persecution for things I can't change or help. I fully trust another woman doing something like a Pap Smear, but I still can't shake the paralyzing fear. Like I have to be perfect or I can't have anybody that close to me. That sort of proximity to me, and I'm literally quivering and fighting the powerful urge to run away.
I can't have this sort of severe overawareness preventing me from doing what needs to be done. I usually don't let it stop me, but I'm concerned by my reaction. When I was a teenager, I would put off these tests because the very idea of taking my clothes off and being poked at by a relative stranger would leave me shaking and filled with panic, almost to the point of tears. I have a history of sexual abuse/rape that has deeply maimed my psyche.