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  1. #21
    Senior Member burymecloser's Avatar
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    Gigi, I personally never like to see my ex-es move on. Even if I don't want to be with them any more, it hurts to realize I'm replaceable, so I think I understand where you're coming from to a degree. Is your reaction a little immature? Yeah, probably. But that doesn't make you a bad person, and I even think it's kind of a natural reaction to the end of a long relationship.

    I would lay off the UGLY comments on the new gf, though. That comes off as bitter and mean, not hurt and confused. (Even if it's true.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Do you know why he regarded you as a "bitch"? Obviously abuse is inexcusable, but was there any validity to why he regarded you that way?
    Are you asking her if she's a bitch? Writing, "obviously abuse is inexcusable," doesn't make it seem any less like you're implying it's her fault she got abused.
    i just want to be a sweetheart

  2. #22
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    Unhappy

    My Ex went kinda crazy after we split up..
    her behavior after was way more painful and damaging than anything she did when we were together. Even the actual break up wasn't as painful.
    We said and did a few nasty things to each other.. It was not a healthy relationship. But we loved each other deeply.. or so I thought.
    After, she categorically tore me to pieces. Took every positive thing about me and turned it into a negative. Made false accusations about me to people and left me in deep debt even though a lot of it is HER bills.. she refused to pay anything.
    What is odd is that.. she told me to move on.. and as soon as I accepted that and said ok.. that is when her behavior started to change .. and it changed for real when she heard me on the phone with my Counselor simply saying I think at this time it's good that we are broke up.. we were doomed from the start.

    Everything she said afterward was just punishment and mean spirited.
    I guess I was supposed to tell her how I couldn't live without her or something .. because, agreeing it was a good thing to split did me no favors.

    What I am saying is.. To Gigi and others, is to consider that maybe he/she is as hurt as you are and that carrying on with resentment and saying and doing nasty stuff after the fact , can cause serious damage to people's esteems.
    If you think it's a good idea for yourself to move on.. Then afford your ex the same courtesy in their need to move on. and that includes giving respect to whatever they need to do to move on.. even if that means having a new partner sooner than you.

  3. #23
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by burymecloser View Post
    Are you asking her if she's a bitch? Writing, "obviously abuse is inexcusable," doesn't make it seem any less like you're implying it's her fault she got abused.
    No, I was asking her if in her opinion she was a bitch. I was not implying though that that makes it her fault. I was merely hinting at the fact that introspection is never a bad thing when dealing with bad situations.

    How she acted in the relationship is not irrelevant data. She admitted she wasn't the best of girlfriends and her story is too vague to give any meaningful insight other than....analyze your actions, analyze his actions, understand how you would react to your actions and how someone else would react to your actions, understand why he brought up the worst in you.

  4. #24
    almost half a doctor phoenix13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gigi_xo View Post
    my exboyfriend was a psycho

    I am so lucky to be rid of him


    but I cant help feeling entirely furious seeing one of our mutual friends post a picture of him, my exboyfriend, and my ex's UGLY new girlfriend as his profile picture.


    I just can't LET GO.

    and I'm FURIOUS.
    and I want to get back at him.

    I want to tell him that he sucks at life & that she's UGLY

    am I just being insanely immature? I feel like I based my life around him, all my daydreams and future planning, and I gave him my heart and feel like I got nothing in return.

    maybe its the hopeless romantic NF in me thats angry for being proved wrong.

    she's so not cute. why cant I let this gooo???


    I sound like a lunatic. sorry.
    I wish there was a smack-someone-in-the-face emoticon. Are you being insanely immature? YES!!!

    ...and why are you so fixated on her being "so not cute?" Why are you insulting this person that you know nothing about?! Jesus christ, that post annoyed the hell out of me!

    "OMG I FEEEEEEEEEL SO INTENSELY ABOUT EVERYTHING OMG OMG OMG GET ME A XANAX" -Priam (ENFP impersonation)

  5. #25
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    I'm totally with Sytpg, this type of behavior is awful.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  6. #26
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    listen gigi...i get reacting childishly when hurt by someone you love...it's like being backed into a corner and having your claws come out...it is like you said tho...it's him bringing out the worst in you and it looks like he still has the power to do it...but you have moved on and so has he...you're free from this unhealthy relationship so you do need to release that power he has over you...really let it go...be the you that you're proud of...realize that it was just the two of you together and now you guys can move on and try to find someone who brings out the best in you...try to hope that for him and yourself...release it babe.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #27

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    One of the more valuable things you will learn is how to cut ties with such people. It can be hard to leave a fight and not solve something, but sometimes it is the best solution.

    If you want revenge the most annoying thing you can do to him is not give a shit and move on. If you play the game he has some power over you.

    Just a question: why don't you feel compelled to protect the new girlfriend? You know there is a chance that she's going through exactly what you did.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  8. #28
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Get off Facebook or wherever your friends post these pictures. Out of sight is not necessarily out of mind, but at least you won't have to experience frequent bitterness when you see a new picture and anxiety in the meantime.

  9. #29
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by No Exit View Post
    consider that maybe he/she is as hurt as you are
    And this is so important.

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