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[INFJ] INFJs: Describe Yourself

Lily flower

New member
Joined
Jun 28, 2010
Messages
930
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
2
I tend to be the one who listens to everyone's problems and empathizes. I'm not good at giving people boundaries, but I have gotten better as I got older. I want to save the world. My husband and I have been both adoptive and foster parents. I often come across as outgoing, but I am really scared to death of people's disapproval. I tend to see all different sides of any issue, so it's hard for me to line myself up with people who have a firm political viewpoint. I am always wanting to talk about personal or spiritual issues, and any conversation about curtains or gardening type activities turns me off quickly. I'm not sure how I come across to people. One friend said I am the type of person that other people feel safe sitting next to. Hope that helps!
 

Luv Deluxe

Step into my office.
Joined
Jun 25, 2011
Messages
441
MBTI Type
NiSe
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I think we're all different, but there are definitely some patterns emerging that I've noticed upon reading all of these prior posts. In many ways I relate, of course, but there are a few things I do that haven't been mentioned yet or might be more elusive INFJ traits.

Regarding appearances, my clothing is very put together and bold. I wear form-fitting, unusual cuts and textures, with lots of buckles and straps. I love high-contrast things, so I wear a lot of black and white. And a lot of soft, feminine items with heavier, edgier items (think white delicate dress with big black boots). As you may guess, I'm into fashion. The clothes I wear are just one more way that I can express myself. :) I also change my hair color with some frequency; it'll be anything from jet black to platinum blonde or fiery red (or some other bright color). But in spite of an expressive "look," I am actually quite reserved until I get to know you.

Physically, others have described me as looking cocky and irritated. I don't mean to come off this way. Sometimes, I'll be in the middle of a completely neutral moment when a friend or coworker asks if and why I'm pissed off. I guess my neutral face looks pretty stern. :( When I'm out in public, I always have a purpose to my presence and I carry myself accordingly. I get very annoyed with people who hold me up, whether they're strolling idly in front of me or engaging in small talk. I have no patience for that stuff.

In a classroom situation, I'd be sitting toward the back of the room, on one side or the other - but not in the middle. I ask questions more than I offer answers (not because I don't know the anwers, but because I will learn more by making additional inquiries). I sit and quietly absorb everything while most of the other students do the talking, speaking up only when I feel strongly about the topic or really believe that I have something interesting to add. I always took very organized notes...but doodled silly pictures everywhere in the leftover negative space.

If out at a restaurant, I usually choose a booth seat. I prefer to be on the inside, closest to the wall, facing the door. On a train or airplane? Window seat. When walking with a group of people, I slow up and fall to the back. I like to watch other people, but I feel strangely exposed when they're in a position to easily watch me.

I can handle group outings if I absolutely have to. (It's easier if I have a drink.) I tend to stick close to my most trusted friend and look to him or her for cues. If I still feel very uncomfortable, I can become moody or impulsive, at which point I will act out on my emotions. This is more pronounced when I'm in an unhealthy state of mind. My preferred social interaction is definitely one-on-one with a trusted friend! I can spend the whole day with him or her, but eventually I'm going to need to recharge my batteries.

Oh, yeah - I'm also a jerk about spelling and grammar. Every little error jumps out at me and rubs itself all over my eyeballs. I can wink at the occasional typo, but when I see loads of blatant issues in someone's writing (especially regarding rules that everyone knows), I involuntarily pass judgment on the individual's apparent laziness. It's a big turn-off.

Where you are likely to find me:
- My bedroom. My ultimate happy place, with multicolored walls and art supplies tucked into one corner - everything is organized and clean.
- Movie theaters. Film is one of my first loves.
- The gym. I work out regularly.
- Bookstores and libraries. It's all true.
- Art museums and cultural places of interest. I love to learn and get new ideas.
- An open road in the middle of nowhere. My other ultimate happy place.
- Mountain waterfalls and desolate canyons. I really like to explore and be connected with nature.
- Amusement parks. I love rollercoasters.

Where you will probably never find me:
- Dive bars and sports bars. I am very occasionally dragged here by a friend, but the overall vibe of such places just makes me feel gross.
- Fast food restaurants. Puke.
- Shopping malls. Okay, so I'm forced here sometimes out of necessity, but I leave as soon as I can. No hours and hours of, like, totally shopping with my girlfriends.
- Rodeos/NASCAR races. I'm lumping the two together.

I have some experience with regard to the differences between ISFJs and INFJs. I lived with an ISFJ for a while and while we had many things in common, we also endured a disconnect in several areas. (We're both unique people and probably don't represent the poster versions of our MBTI types, so take my descriptions with a grain of salt.) He and I are both fiercely moral characters with personal codes of right and wrong that we pretty much live by. We are both very dedicated to the people we care about. We are stubborn, introspective, and emotional. But!
- He's very traditional. Some of my outside-of-the-box perspectives make him nervous, or even annoy him.
- He thinks about the present and the past. I think about the present and the future.
- He is content, as long as he has a job that he doesn't hate and enough money to pay the bills. I can't live with "just okay" circumstances, and have been known to quit jobs without having new ones lined up if it means following my gut and pursuing happiness.
- He needs security and tranquility. I like those things, but need some adrenaline also.
- He talks about concrete, factual, day-to-day events. I go off on meandering abstract tangents that sometimes bore him.
- He thinks it's a person's obligation to do what they should, and not necessarily any more. I feel that, in addition, one ought to pursue everything he or she can, because you've only got one life to explore countless possibilities.
- He is afraid of change. I thrive on it.
- He is definitely a little more grounded and responsible than I am, and I'm probably a little more creative.
 
Last edited:

lane777

nevermore
Joined
Oct 23, 2008
Messages
635
I agreed with mostly everything in your post, but this stuff really struck a chord.

Regarding appearances, my clothing is very put together and bold. I wear form-fitting, unusual cuts and textures, with lots of buckles and straps. I love high-contrast things, so I wear a lot of black and white.

Yep.

I also change my hair color with some frequency; it'll be anything from jet black to platinum blonde or fiery red (or some other bright color).

I never died my hair too many colors; health freak. But my hair is naturally turning white now and I am quite happy about it.

I get very annoyed with people who hold me up, whether they're strolling idly in front of me or engaging in small talk. I have no patience for that stuff.

This only annoys me when they're ignoring those people who are trying to get around them, or if they're rudely taking up more of the sidewalk/aisle than is needed. Basically inconsiderate people. I'm hypersensitive to those around me so as not to inconvenience others. I just think that's manners.

In a classroom situation, I'd be sitting toward the back of the room, on one side or the other - but not in the middle. I ask questions more than I offer answers (not because I don't know the anwers, but because I will learn more by making additional inquiries). I sit and quietly absorb everything while most of the other students do the talking, speaking up only when I feel strongly about the topic or really believe that I have something interesting to add. I always took very organized notes...but doodled silly pictures everywhere in the leftover negative space.

I took very organized notes when I cared about the subject. Doodles - EVERYWHERE... with full blown art pieces to boot that people would ask to have :dry:

If out at a restaurant, I usually choose a booth seat. I prefer to be on the inside, closest to the wall, facing the door. On a train or airplane? Window seat. When walking with a group of people, I slow up and fall to the back. I like to watch other people, but I feel strangely exposed when they're in a position to easily watch me.

I always feel guilty going for the booth or inside seat. Doesn't everybody want it?

Where you are likely to find me:
- My bedroom. My ultimate happy place, with multicolored walls and art supplies tucked into one corner - everything is organized and clean.
- Movie theaters. Film is one of my first loves.
- Bookstores and libraries. It's all true.
- Art museums and cultural places of interest. I love to learn and get new ideas.
- Amusement parks. I love rollercoasters.

I love adrenaline, so theme parks and scary movies (minus gore/torture films) are when I am my happiest - to onlookers, anyway... and visiting graveyards at dusk :happy2: I tend to extrovert more when I'm excited like this and I lose some of my poise. All of the other activities make me extremely content though.

Where you will probably never find me:
- Fast food restaurants. Puke.

If friends drag me to a fast food place, I refuse to eat anything.

- Shopping malls. Okay, so I'm forced here sometimes out of necessity, but I leave as soon as I can. No hours and hours of, like, totally shopping with my girlfriends.

I'm not a browser. I usually take an hour to go through a mall; after visiting my favourite stores I'm done shopping. I like hanging around though, for the people watching.
 

Reverie

In orbit
Joined
Jul 28, 2011
Messages
291
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx
I have many of the outside traits discussed on this thread. I appear slightly reserved and detached, but observing, always polite in company. I am not in the center of things, but slightly to the side, only joining in group discussions when something I feel strongly about comes up. I prefer one on one conversations but only if I find the conversation interesting or funny (I have a zany, wild and sarcastic sense of humor). I hate chitchat and small talk, but do like gossip (awful I know) , but only because it tells me a lot about the social web I'm in and it helps me understand what's going on. The human interest interests me. For example If I am researching a subject that has caught my interest I often visit forums to peruse...that's how I found this forum. ;D
I have been told that I'm intense, because I prefer to communicate things that I find meaningful and Important..."Deep" things... and some people prefer more superficial, lighthearted or fashionable subjects. I feel out people wether they would respond favorably to my kind of conversation before I engage...if not I tend to distract and redirect the other types to my more lighthearted friends... That said people often mistake my politeness, warmth and detachment as utter airheadedness...
Little do they know my pastimes don't include shoe shopping, Zumba and watching reruns of sex in the city, but metaphysics, psychology, songwriting and music technology. To be honest most people know nothing about me, but most also think they do. Yet they are wrong... ;D I have a few very close confidants that know more about me but even they don't know the whole story. Things like the philosophical/metaphysical frame of reference I basically live based on is something even my dearest and nearest don't know much about. It would also be impossible to explain. The one person I talk to about these subjects does not know anything about what I consider my life calling. My way of "helping" people is by communicating some kind of archetypical "truths" to people via symbolism in song. As it is the one point of reference that makes me want to open up to people and share is if they know anything about music in general... I will sit there and be utterly fascinated to someone I don't very much like because I hope their different experience will give me new material to use in my work. ...this is about as candid as I can be about myself. I already feel jittery of all the "exposure".
 

Moxiest

New member
Joined
Jul 29, 2011
Messages
84
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4
Intense, misunderstood, deep, ignores details everyone else sees, sees details everyone else ignores, creative, out of the box, organic
 
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