[INFJ] INFJs: Describe Yourself

[nightning]

I had half the mind to write "You don't find us. We find you."

+1

The thing with INFJs I found is that we are highly variable. For me, I'm mostly in the background quietly observing things unless I spot problems or potential problems. Then I step in to help sort things up, provide new perspectives, different way of looking at things. Very one on one type of help. After things are back on track, I leave. On the whole it gives the impression of "nice but detached".

What distinguishes you from an ISFJ in behavior? This particular (who I think is) ISFJ has, in her intimate circle of four friends, an ISFJ, ExFP and ESTP and ISFx.

I'm also sorta close-ish with her, and have never picked up on any Ni at all. We've always seemed to have "missed" each other in our points until in a larger group discussion where I join their circle of friends and it's all S talk.

Look for Ni vs Si... ISFJs I know are very very traditional. They also pay more attention to the details than us scatterbrained INFJs. Female ISFJs are the ones that send thank you cards to you... a little something for christmas holiday. Their sense of "helping" is also more "hands on". To those who they're close to... they're always close at hand. An INFJ might see things coming along and move on to something else, but the ISFJ will stay until everything is completed.

INFJ guys... I only know of one... he's not easily typed unless you're an INFJ yourself or know us really well. Again, look for that Ni. It's good to throw at them something random... like an Ne idea. See how they deal with it. Switch topics halfway and see if they're still thinking along the lines of the first idea (tying the first idea with the 2nd etc) or follow you strictly onto the new one. That's the best test for Ni vs Ne.

INTJ vs INFJ... just look for the sentimental side.

 

[Littlelostnf]

I thought Cafe's post was interesting as I have both a cousin and a good friend who are INFJ and they both have unique styles but aren't at all "put together" while my ISFJ mom is totally always put together. Also what you said about engaging a person conversationally as an INFJ. I see that very much in both INFJ's.

I really see my ISFJ mom in the following two paragraph.

When you meet her, you see that she is very attractively and appropriately put together. She has an assurance about her that she is doing things properly and she is polite, but she is committed to her agenda. Sometimes you know she is thinking something that may not be terribly flattering, but you can't quite put your finger on what it might be. She is always aware of how her children are behaving and they had better be behaving well.

The difference between myself and my ISFJ sister-in-law (and dear friend) is that she is a nurturer of the body and the moral fiber and I am a nurturer of the emotions and the mind. She is more conscious of rules and how things look to other people than I am. She is more organized and diligent than I am. She is actually more big picture when it comes to caring for others in that she considers how to meet the needs of others and she schedules accordingly and she is very inclined to stick to her schedule because she cares about people and meeting her obligations to them..

I really love my mom...sometimes things she talks about wash over me because she can TALK...but she's fantastic. Couldn't ask for a better mom..and after all these years she'll still iron my clothes for me

 

[Griffi97]

I value sincerity and honesty, can't stand lip-service, fake people or liars. If someone doesn't like me I'd rather know it than have them pretending to like me. For the most part I can see right through people. I find that people don't like this. I sometimes get a bad feeling about someone right away. Later I usually find out why. When I meet someone new I carefully explore them by asking a few questions. If their answers seem to indicate some depth, I ask more questions. Oftentimes I look for it and don't find it. If there's no depth there, I usually feel like there is no meaningful conversation possible for me with the person, just superficial nonsense which is ultimately unsatisfying.

I am a spelling and grammar nazi. Errors in language leap off the page. I have been told many times that I think I'm always right. I certainly like to BE right, and if someone publicly disagrees with me about something I've said, I'll try to find some way to prove I am right. If my research actually proves that I was wrong, I quietly bury it and note the fact for future reference. If I can prove I AM right, I make sure to find a way to tell them. I tend to have strong opinions and don't mind sharing them. When I see someone is hurting, I try to find out how to help if I can, sometimes by offering advice or sometimes just by listening. People tend to seek me out because of this.

I think INFJ's are pretty hard to recognize because they are somewhat chameleon-like. I usually try to type everyone I meet and I have had more trouble recognizing my own type than any other.

 

[Murmur]

At social gatherings (mostly organizational activities) I'm usually either one of the people in charge or then I'm just sitting quietly. When I'm with familiar and interesting people I might actually seem quite extroverted, talking passionately about various kinds of things with many people (but I can't improvise so you don't usually see me dancing or doing some crazy stuff). So yeah, I'm a bit chameleon-like I guess.

At family gatherings I don't talk much 'cause I don't really have much to talk about with my relatives, and that's kind of sad. I avoid meeting my relatives whenever it's possible. It's probably because I didn't have a healthy childhood, and now that I study at the Uni I'm actually moving socially further and further away from where I started.

I love libraries, bookstores, my own campus and especially my own home. Sometimes I visit a church or a cemetary although I'm not a traditionally religious person (I call myself a spiritual atheist). I pretty much hate bars and shopping malls.

I don't share about my personal life unless you're worth it. I never share everything with anyone. Especially I don't talk to you about my dreams and intuitions unless I really truly trust you.

I usually seek the company of original and intelligent people. Some extroverts kind of scare me because they don't see that I need my own space. When I don't like someone I just totally ignore that person.

 

[quietgirl]

I surprise myself a lot. I guess that's the best basic description I can give.

As for something a bit more elaborate...

I'm generally a quiet girl, but I can talk for hours with the people closest to me. I also get in sociable moods, moreso than most introverts than I know. However, I need a significant amount of downtime to balance myself out again. If I'm around people all day, I generally need to be by myself for the rest of the night. If I'm around people for days on end, I end up very stressed and irritable.

I'm fairly happy. I smile a lot. However, I do have the tendency to overextend myself to meet the needs of others (normally needs they should be meeting themselves - thus overcompensating for what is lacking) and that will send me on a downward depression spiral.

I enjoy and NEED to have a connection with those around me. If I do not have a connection with you, chances are you won't hear from me much. I am constantly trying to foster new connections and build upon existing connections. This contridicts my introversion a bit and that's what ultimately leads to overextending myself, I think.

It may be because my "N" preference tests the strongest, but I tend to think VERY abstractly. When I open up my thoughts to most around me, I usually get the "what the hell?!" response - even from other N's. Everywhere I look, I find a symbol. There are no coincidences - everything is symbolic of something bigger. I tend to find meaning where there probably isn't much meaning. I am so not concrete and always read between the lines. This drives the more concrete types in my life absolutely NUTS. I'm also not hands on AT ALL.

I'm a planner to the point of neurotic-ness. I have to know what's going to happen next, even if it ends up changing - I just need a plan. I'm not rigid in my planning, I just need to be constantly working with one, if that makes any sense. It's a security thing. I'm also really big on closure. Every disagreement needs to be settled as soon as possible or I get really anxious. I also get anxious if I don't know what's going to happen next. I hate leaving stuff open ended & the whole needing options thing goes right over my head. I like things decided and then I tend to stick with them until something happens to force me to make a new decision. In relationships, I am not a play the field, wandering eye, scared of commitment type. I usually commit immediately and stay in the relationship until something happens to force the decision to break it off. I've never cheated on anyone in my life and I do not understand why someone would search for more options when they have a perfectly good option in front of them.

I am very analytical. I usually analyze things like feelings, people, relationships, etc... but I'm okay with non human analyzation as well. I can get into an analyzation trap sometimes where I simply can't stop analyzing.

I am a perfectionist to the utmost degree. I'd like to say that I only expect myself to be perfect, but I've heard from others that they feel I give them pressure to be perfect. I never realize when I am expecting others to be perfect and feel awful when it's revealed to me. My relationship with my boyfriend is a funny one, as we share this perfectionism. We rarely fight, but when we do, it's about failing to meet one another's unreasonable expectations for some reason. Once we both realize that our expectations were impossible to achieve, the argument is normally brought to a compromise and resolved. However, I am the hardest on myself. I like to have control over what I do, what happens to me, and the image I portray to others. It's actually fairly unhealthy, but I'm working on it.

There's tons more, but I think that's a good start.

 

[armstrongvk12]

I'm usually the person who looks removed from the situation, at least until someone starts speaking with me, if I care to speak with them I will actually be quite friendly, and seem pretty boring, as I will more often than not be following the other persons words more then they'll be following mine.

This is so true. It describes my INFJ friend exactly! We spent all day at an art museum together and went to lunch.....and later that night went to a party. (I know...that seems like A LOT for an INFJ, but it was his idea!) Granted...the party was a bunch of our high school friends...yet I could still see him kind of remove himself from the group....and become quite introverted. Quite the opposite of the time we spent earlier that day at the museum and at lunch.

How can you tell if a male INFJ likes you...or is just being kind (doesn't want to hurt your feelings?)

 

[quietgirl]

How can you tell if a male INFJ likes you...or is just being kind (doesn't want to hurt your feelings?)

I'm a female, but I won't show interest in someone unless I actually do like them. I'm pretty big on being genuine. I do not contact my male friends with whom I am not interested in on a daily or semi daily basis. We more catch each other when we can. If I was interested, I'd make more of an effort to have more regular communication.

If my boyfriend is indeed also an INFJ, he just kept making plans to call the next day & hang out after we met. According to him, he wouldn't have tried to see & talk to me as much if he hadn't been interested. He's similar to me with not showing interest unless interested for the same reasons - it's not genuine & there really is no point (and it's a bit cruel) to playing with someone's feelings like that.

 

[Shinzon]

*

 

[quietgirl]

I'm a 24 year old male INFJ. I can only speak for myself but I'm usually very cautious and I like to be sure that my feelings are reciprocated before I move to the next level. If I find you attractive I'll probably be a little shy at first until I've gotten to know you well enough for me to pick up enough commonalities for conversation to come naturally.

At some point when I'm sure about things I'll probably just come right out and make a move or say something. Basically, if I seem interested in you and you're interested back, don't play hard to get, don't send mixed signals, be very open and direct with me and it will speed the whole process up. There have been people for whom the whole process happened in a few nights, a few took weeks.

I have no idea if this common for male infjs my age but this is roughly how I operate.

This is pretty much how my boyfriend operates as well.

 

[armstrongvk12]

I'm a female, but I won't show interest in someone unless I actually do like them. I'm pretty big on being genuine. I do not contact my male friends with whom I am not interested in on a daily or semi daily basis. We more catch each other when we can. If I was interested, I'd make more of an effort to have more regular communication.

If my boyfriend is indeed also an INFJ, he just kept making plans to call the next day & hang out after we met. According to him, he wouldn't have tried to see & talk to me as much if he hadn't been interested. He's similar to me with not showing interest unless interested for the same reasons - it's not genuine & there really is no point (and it's a bit cruel) to playing with someone's feelings like that.

I don't contact male friends on a regular basis either...unless I was interested. I feel it is cruel as well and ingenuine too. My INFJ male "friend" usually contacts me every day either through email and/or phone because he lives 2500 miles away from me.

Not too long ago...I had a male ESTJ...keep contacting me and basically taking up all of my free time....but he only wanted to be friends!
I think it might be a controlling SJ thingy?? I don't want any more men with "issues" wasting my time.

Thanks so much for your help.

 

[quietgirl]

I don't contact male friends on a regular basis either...unless I was interested. I feel it is cruel as well and ingenuine too. My INFJ male "friend" usually contacts me every day either through email and/or phone because he lives 2500 miles away from me.

Not too long ago...I had a male ESTJ...keep contacting me and basically taking up all of my free time....but he only wanted to be friends!
I think it might be a controlling SJ thingy?? I don't want any more men with "issues" wasting my time.

Thanks so much for your help.

You're welcome!

I think it may be an IN thing in general to only make an effort for those who interest us. I've found that I had this in common with INT's I know as well.

 

[armstrongvk12]

I'm a 24 year old male INFJ. I can only speak for myself but I'm usually very cautious and I like to be sure that my feelings are reciprocated before I move to the next level. If I find you attractive I'll probably be a little shy at first until I've gotten to know you well enough for me to pick up enough commonalities for conversation to come naturally.

If we've gotten to this (friendship) stage and I'm still interested in you you'll notice that you have my attention. At a social gathering like a party or a bar (on the rare occasion you can get me to set foot in one) I'll probably stick close to you, but I will probably be a lot more reserved as I kind of get overwhelmed in loud places or around a lot of people.

At some point when I'm sure about things I'll probably just come right out and make a move or say something. Basically, if I seem interested in you and you're interested back, don't play hard to get, don't send mixed signals, be very open and direct with me and it will speed the whole process up. There have been people for whom the whole process happened in a few nights, a few took weeks.

If I'm just being kind I'll probably seem a lot more awkward around you or a lot less interested in conversation. I don't know, it seems to me like it would be obvious to other people when I don't want to be around them, but then a lot of people don't really pick up on it.

Thanks for the male perspective. What you described about yourself basically describes my male INFJ friend...albeit....he is older than you are...and has been married previously...so...I think he is a bit cautious.

 

[Alchemist]

I've hit the radical side when it comes to socialising 'cos I was tired as being perceived as arrogant. It's a great thing to learn, but because of this, you'd never think I'd be an INFJ if you're just meeting me for the first time in real life. I talk to groups, individuals, dance in night clubs, and read poetry until I wake up with a book on my face.

There was a point in my life where I'd spend two hours calling up new people every day and setting up events and meet-ups, but that's kinda toned down now. It was a conscious decision to get the social muscle exercised, and now that skillset is with me for life.

However, if you look at my room, you'll see lots of books, sheet music, vinyls, and instruments. I've got books on poetry, writing skills, philosophy, massage, sex, cooking, foreign languages, and gods knows what else. I love my books. My vinyls are just as varied, and I love them too.

I tend to hang out everywhere since my comfort zone has been blown up. Huge nightclubs (I'm a dancer and a DJ after all), quiet book shops, cafes (although I only allow myself to drink water), libraries, dance studios, music studios, temples, the mall, electronic stores... actually, this probably doesn't help you. (<_<);;

You'll have to earn the trust to look into our goals and perspectives. I don't voice those openly, and there's a whole other world that only people like myself are aware of. I think I've learned to hide it so well, that you don't even know I'm hiding it. It's like looking into a black hole. On the internet I may write openly about my beliefs, values, and goals, but not even my best friend knows my goals for life (unless he's read my blog, though I doubt it--he doesn't surf blogs or the web very often).

Since we love to learn, we're probably really mutable, but that's just my understanding. The thing about connecting dots as a test is probably something you could do, but other than that... we're probably something noticed over time.

-A[lchemist]

 

[Wyst]

Old thread and I'm sure I'm rehashing hashed hash but...

I'm all over the INFJ scale. Some days I'll be really outgoing with people and other days, meh... not so much. Some days people are like 'Geez, what's with him today? I've never heard him talk so much'.

I guess it's surprising to them because, yeah, for the most part I don't ask for information on others and I don't volunteer information about me unless I've reached a certain level of trust with them.
Some people, I'm convinced, I'll never reach that level with. We just don't click - no matter how long I've known him/her. Other people, right off the bat it's like we strike a chord and I'll be able to open up to them. Rare meetings to be sure.

I wouldn't be surprised if most people think of me as arrogant or aloof. I never go out with people after work and I hate intrusions upon my routines that I've set up and am comfortable with. I have a handful of very close friends and not many acquaintances.

I try not to go to parties unless I get dragged there. I'd much rather take a book and my ipod to a coffee shop and sip the night away. I enjoy being surrounded by people in such a setting, but it's a given I won't have to chit-chat with them or anything like that, so I'm safe there.

When I do get dragged to a party, I'll stick close to the friend that dragged me there. If they disappear on me I'll move myself to where there is the least action happening. OR I'll head to the kitchen and see what there is to be done - for some reason if my hands are busy doing stuff I can small talk without much effort. Also helping out facilitates bonding on some sort of level.

With close friends and family I'm a totally different person. So different I surprise myself as well as others when they see me like that. I wonder if I'll ever actually be able to open up to someone, fall in love, and get married someday. In past relationships I've always held the girl at a distance

Besides those rare friends and my family members I don't believe anyone else really knows the real me. Major character flaw?? Just a victim of being an INFJ??

 

[Penguin]

I can be both quiet and extremely talkative, I instinctively feel if a person is an N or an S, if its an N I will talk just like a regular extrovert, even more so if the entire group is N, but if in a given group of 6 people for instance, there are 2 S's I actually feel guilty for initiating N topics, because I know that the 2 S's get bored and it is probable that they want to leave if the conversation keeps this trend.

I always have a plan, I know what I am going to do tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, if I am thinking about my gf I will come up with ideas of how we should spend a day together, I make up witty compliments, I think a HUGE amount of time in advance, like how I should make my wedding proposal (not to my current gf, just a general concept), what job I want for the rest of my life (I thought of this at age 12 or 13) and things like that.

I may talk much with the proper people, but its usually theoretical talk, I won't divulge any personal information about myself, nor will they.
If I put my Feeler hat on, I think I can extract a large amount of information from everyone, without actually asking them to tell me.


Also, as a sidenote, I have come to the conclusion that the best possible way to recognise an INFJ is to meet him several times at the same spot, the reason behind this is that Ni dominants dont get bored going to the exact same spot a large numbers of times, Ne types on the other hand get bored either by staying just a few hours, or 1-2 times, at the same spot.
And during those meetings one can asses the other functions, I/E and F/T as well

 

[gokartride]

the best possible way to recognise an INFJ is to meet him several times at the same spot

Well you'd have little trouble with me on this....I eat at the same restaurant, drive the same roads, and ride the same commuter train every day!!! It does not bore me though...go figure. In fact, I am never bored even though my routines may indicate otherwise. I enjoy life and people (in moderation) but inside me it's pretty much always a fun, interesting time.

In a nutshell (yes, it is complicated to explain), I am a very spiritual person who by total quirk of fate stumbled into a dizzying array of inputs....historical, theological, real world situations...for years and years (I'm 53). It has been absolutely wonderful and wonder-inspiring....but it is more than I can easily explain or process. I do...it's just not easy.

I wound up single 18 years ago and in typical INFJ fashion spent the years raising and caring for my four kids who I love to death and admire very much. They are all in their twenties now. It has been (and still is) a very rich experience raising those goof-balls, one I treasure deeply. Myself included, it has been like living five lives at one time.

So, after all that, I'm pretty chill in general. I have a good job and some fun hobbies which I desperately need to keep out of triangulating things in my head all the time. I do have some great sadnesses in my life but I try to keep that in perspective and let the ups and downs pass like the weather...I don't freak out too much over it.

 

[wedekit]

Most people think I am a snob before they talk to me for the first time. I am not one to initiate conversations, because I just don't feel comfortable doing that. I do have a strong sense of connecting with other people, I just don't wear it only my sleeve like an a ENFJ would (I'm assuming).

The one thing people ALWAYS say about me is that I am "so organized"! It's true. I can be very organized when it comes to obligations and work. I just dread the moment these people have to see my room (rarely tidy)!

I am always described as very relaxed, and I am often told by people I barely know that I seem like the kind of person that doesn't judge others. It makes me very approachable apparently, because people always seem to feel relief after having a discussion with me about their problems. I like to help others get their mental state back on track when they are anxious or just totally lost. I am not good at providing in more sensible ways (like an ISFJ probably would), but I am great at helping people see things through a new lens. I believe that with enough self-control and self-awareness, anybody can accomplish anything. I like to push people to be the best they can be.

I have strong convictions in my life, but I like to think that I have thought them through thoroughly before I commit to them in such a rash nature. With my introverted intuition and extraverted feeling I am able to recognize how relative and subjective things can be in this world, so for me to commit to a belief or cause means that I am truly attached to it in a very personal way.

I am idealistic to a point where sometimes my expectations are too high. Sometimes I can be very disappointed in myself for not working harder or applying myself more. I feel like there is always room for improvement in myself. I think that I share some connection with my INTJ cousins in that I think thee is always room for improvement in systems, and a lot of people don't like that about me.

I am often told that I seem to hold back a lot. It is true. Those deep convictions I mentioned earlier are so vital and personal to me that I tend to keep them to myself. To attack my beliefs is like attacking my very being in some ways. I seem to always have a barrier up. I am very sensitive in some areas, so I don't feel comfortable exposing too much of myself to strangers. Some people are surprised when they actually get a sneak peak into my internal world. I do keep a lot of things to myself. I particularly like the saying "If you don't know what an extravert thinks, you haven't been listening. If you don't know what an introvert thinks, you haven't asked". Just because I believe in something doesn't mean I expect everyone else to adhere to it, but a lot of people don't understand that.

I understand that I am weird and not your typical person. I feel like I am constantly working towards becoming self-actualized, and I hope that I do become that some day.

Career wise, I plan on going to graduate school for Experimental Social/Personality Psychology after I get my bachelors. I am a strong J, so I feel like if I am going to get a degree in something I might as well get the highest degree I can! I am very much a Feeler, but I have always had a knack for Math/Statistics and creative, logical ideas. Most people don't even realize I am of the Feeling type until they come to know me much better. I feel like going into research will put my Ti to work for my later age and allow me to make myself a more well-rounded person. Research is very interesting to me, and I love the idea of contributing to the field of Psychology. There is nothing more fulfilling than knowing I could contribute to mankind in a variety of helpful ways. Plus, I would also be able to teach at a university on the side while I do research, since that is normally how it works. I can't think of a job that is more fun than being a teacher. Enhancing minds for the future generations seems like it would be very rewarding.

I don't know how representative I am of INFJs, but I hope I was able to capture myself in a nutshell for you.

 

[Andy Quellenlicht]

Ni first can't be traced back from behavior or preferences

hi,
when reading many of the posts, I thought: this is interesting stuff about a person's individual life, but it has little to do with Ni first.

Ni first is a structure, which can linked to almost every content imaginable.

so, how would I describe myself in terms of Ni first. of course I will have to give you content (not structure, because structure is by definition not personal), but please take this content as a metaphor.

deep inside me, everything is deconstructed. i liberate myself from everything by looking at the premises or the ground of a statement or a feeling. then I free myself from it by declaring it a possible viewpoint. so far, what I said could be a quote from lenore thompson's book.

so I wonder: why do I "relativize" everything, and why do I do this without even thinking? (intuition). what do I look for? what is the direction of my longing? what is this unconscious perception (Ni)? a feeling... yep, but the feeling is just a metaphor for this unconscious perception, is not the thing itself. is it any perceived content? no, the conscious content would be a mere metaphor of the "object" of Ni...

I think it's by digging this kind of questions that what is common with Ni first may emerge... in very small pieces... and far away from any material object or specific feeling. and everything what is said, is always a sole metaphor... so it might be wise to intuite "behind" the metaphors and try not to take the others to litteraly...

a bit more on a personal level: I don't know what I'm looking for, but the "horizon" keeps me going; nothing is stable, there is no ground to put my feet on - as soon as my foot touches the soil, it's not the soil "perceived" before I made my step...

in what ways do these kinds of metaphors speak to you?
how would you paraphrase Ni first in your lifes?

 

[Andy Quellenlicht]

Mysteriously Ni - Ni first can't be traced back from behavior or preferences

hi,
when reading many of the posts, I thought: this is interesting stuff about a person's individual life, but it has little to do with Ni first.

Ni first is a structure, which can be linked to almost every content imaginable.

so, how would I describe myself in terms of Ni first. of course I will have to give you content (not structure, because structure is by definition not personal), but please take this content as a metaphor.

deep inside me, everything is deconstructed. i liberate myself from everything by looking at the premises or the ground of a statement or a feeling. then I free myself from it by declaring it a possible viewpoint. so far, what I said could be a quote from lenore thompson's book.

so I wonder: why do I "relativize" everything, and why do I do this without even thinking? (intuition). what do I look for? what is the direction of my longing? what is this unconscious perception (Ni)? a feeling... yep, but the feeling is just a metaphor for this unconscious perception, is not the thing itself. is it any perceived content? no, the conscious content would be a mere metaphor of the "object" of Ni...

I think it's by digging this kind of questions that what is common with Ni first may emerge... in very small pieces... and far away from any material object or specific feeling. and everything what is said, is always a sole metaphor... so it might be wise to intuite "behind" the metaphors and try not to take the others to litteraly...

a bit more on a personal level: I don't know what I'm looking for, but the "horizon" keeps me going; nothing is stable, there is no ground to put my feet on - as soon as my foot touches the soil, it's not the soil "perceived" before I made my step...

in what ways do these kinds of metaphors speak to you?
how would you paraphrase Ni first in your lifes?

 

[lane777]

I won't try to sum me up entirely, seeing as I wouldn't know where to begin and when to end - so I'll focus on those qualities that would be most evident to acquaintances.

If I'm alone, I'll have earbuds in.

I wear lots of black, aubergine, navy, gray and sometimes white... I don't have any other colors in my closet other than a teak leather jacket. I'm always coordinated.

When I'm running errands, I'm usually cruising. I don't waste time floating around and because of this I probably do not look very approachable. When I'm out for leisure reasons, I still look deliberate in my movements, just less focused. Someone here mentioned they look "removed," I can't agree more.

When conversing, I usually speak in fragments, unless I know a lot about the topic. Even then, I'm reluctant to say much, unless I feel you will receive it well. I'm also quite vague in general. I speak slowly and deliberately; very thoughtful about what I'm saying. At this point, I must be coming across as rather cold, but I'm actually very warm and smiley; I'm a humanist and I've been told it shows

A good indicator that you're talking to an INFJ is if you find yourself doing all the talking AND your listener is receiving it all with intense interest. If I happen to interrupt you, it will have been a mistake and I will tell you to continue on or I will bring it up later and ask you to finish making your point.

As for body language, I'm a statue. However, I rely heavily on expressing myself through tone and facial expressions (albeit in a very subtle fashion). Often times I will respond with only an expression.

Hopefully that all wasn't too redundant, I didn't read all of the other posts.