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[MBTI General] NFP's and Sarcasm--Why Don't They Get It?

TopherRed

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This is a point of aggitation with me...that my NFP brothers and sisters seem not to understand the concept of sarcasm.

No offense. It's just whenever I instinctively go for a sarcastic barb to say "take me/this lightly", they completely have no understanding that sarcasm acts as an accent mark...or even a tilde (~).

Despite the fact that I sound quite drunk at the moment, I'm not. This has been bothering me for awhile.

So, a two pronger:

1. If you don't get it, what is it about your personality that does not understand?

2. If you do get it, but instead choose to ignore it, I gotta say, that makes me feel a little like you're looking your nose down at me. No offense. Por Que!? When I let myself be this way, I am really revealing a deeper part of myself, and I am trying to engage in communication on a much deeper level (in other words, trying to grow closer to ya).

I am sarcastic both to get a point across, with a certain inclination, and to entertain my friends. It's my sense of humor. It's my universal translator (in every case, except NFPs). Some may argue that it's not the most mature form humor can take, but I beg to differ: "expensive" sarcasm, to me, is like a bar in a Motzart piece...it is human communication at multiple levels, that go so much deeper than the obvious spoken word. "Sarcasm", the word, almost cheapens it, but that's what it is. It isn't necessary negative, but rather, contrary. It makes light of a situation to us often, laden-with-burden NFJs.

So clearly, I'm confused. Anybody wanna clarify?

--Fuzzy
 

Thalassa

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I'm very sarcastic.

Maybe your sarcasm sucks.
 

PeaceBaby

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^ woot marmy

Actually sarcasm makes me laugh ... I love it personally.

You should put up some examples so we can judge you on the sarcastic-ometer.
 

heart

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I am thinking because it is F based sarcasm and not T based sarcasm?

It's hard to deal with feeling based jokes and sarcasm. I hate sorting through what's really there and what's not.
 

Rebe

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"I am sarcastic both to get a point across, with a certain inclination, and to entertain my friends. It's my sense of humor. It's my universal translator (in every case, except NFPs)."

I love sarcasm, I use it more than any other method of communication.

My friend -> "sarcastic comment"
Me -> blank look or a frown
My friend -> "I was joking."
Me -> "It wasn't very funny" or clever.

Yeah, we may have a disdain for the un-clever. :blush:
 

TopherRed

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^ woot marmy

Actually sarcasm makes me laugh ... I love it personally.

You should put up some examples so we can judge you on the sarcastic-ometer.

My ENFP friend Brenda does this all the freakin time.

Like tomorrow, we're going to meet for coffee...


Brenda: Hey, I'm going to bring my lunch to the coffee shop, so don't be embarassed.

Me: Oh noes, Brenda! Whatever shall I tell the Duke and the Duchess of Worchestershirehousen?

Brenda: So, I guess that means you're okay with me bringing my lunch, and you won't be embarassed? Good!

Okay, so maybe my sarcasm does suck sometimes, but I know I'm funny occasionally. Wonka has the same reaction, until he gets comfortable, then he usually appreciates it a little bit. Maybe it's the SX/SOs. I've noticed that with Laurie (unkind) too, and she's an ENFJ SX/SO. *shrug* I dunno.
 

heart

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If i am well rested and all that, I probably do better with it, but it can be really exhausting.
 

TopherRed

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If i am well rested and all that, I probably do better with it, but it can be really exhausting.

I try to make it as obvious as possible for that reason...it's supposed to put everybody at ease, but it seems to have the opposite effect with NFPs. They have to think too roundly, and the work to get there makes the joke no fun.
 

Rainne

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Around sensitive people, I try to make my sarcasm as obvious as possible.
 

Nomorenames

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Heh. Watch out if they have a penchant for irony.

example:

coworker: You're such an idiot!

me: *straight face* I know, right? I'm sorry

coworker: I was kidding!

me: :devil:
 

Southern Kross

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I'm naturally very sarcastic but some people have a kind of sarcasm that occasionaly goes over my head. I react before even thinking about it and after a couple of seconds realize what an idiot I am :blush: . Maybe XNFPs start protesting before thinking because we wear our values on our sleaves and are naturally defensive about them. At times, I can be a little on edge and over-prepared for an debate.

But then, this might be nothing to do with XNFPs. Some people don't signpost their sarcasm well enough.
 

OrangeAppled

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I love sarcasm as long as it is not caustic. People called me Daria as a teen because I can have a sarcastic & sardonic sense of humor at times (but I don't think I'm that dry, especially now). I also love absurdities and will say ridiculous things in a semi-straight manner, but many people don't know I'm joking, so I'm selective about it.

Anyway, the thing I love about my ENFJ friends is that our sense of humor is very insync. I find them more silly than sarcastic most of the time.

BTW, your humor sounds very silly sarcastic & not dry (which is harder to catch). It seems possible to me that the NFP is actually responding dryly to mock your silliness, and you're not getting it.
 

Lady_X

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I love sarcasm as long as it is not caustic. People called me Daria as a teen because I can have a sarcastic & sardonic sense of humor at times (but I don't think I'm that dry, especially now). I also love absurdities and will say ridiculous things in a semi-straight manner, but many people don't know I'm joking, so I'm selective about it.

Anyway, the thing I love about my ENFJ friends is that our sense of humor is very insync. I find them more silly than sarcastic most of the time.

BTW, your humor sounds very silly sarcastic & not dry (which is harder to catch). It seems possible to me that the NFP is actually responding dryly to mock your silliness, and you're not getting it.
that was my thought too...her reaction seemed purposely dry and unfunny.
 

sculpting

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the internet is driving me insane.

(I think you sre seeing an Fe fail on the part of the NFPs.-we can hear the unspoken Fe components of the conversation.)
 

JivinJeffJones

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It depends. Sarcasm (or being sarcastic) has no virtue in and of itself. As has been said, it has to be at least somewhat witty to be funny. Merely saying the opposite of what you mean in a certain tone of voice isn't witty. If someone does that a lot it just comes across to me as being snotty.

I almost always enjoy dryness or irony. But people who have mastered that kind of humour are a world apart from high-school students (for instance) who love describing themselves as sarcastic and tend to use sarcasm for sarcasm's sake.
 

Little Linguist

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Oh whew okay this thread was made after mine was. YAY. I thought I had another observation FAIL.

Anyway, I have a really hard time with picking up on sarcasm and jokes, especially as a kid. I guess I just assumed people would always tell me the truth, so I would believe anything, no matter how ridiculous until proven otherwise, and then I would have a BIG loss of trust in the person with ANYTHING they said, even accurate things.

Case in point: Once I was in an internship, and I guess people were into bullying me for some stupid-ass reason. I don't know why. I was effective, good at my job, kept to myself, wasn't an annoying ass-rat or anything. I was much more shy and quiet before I turned 25.

Anyway, the people would pick on me by telling me things I had to do, and then laughing at me when I believed them. Finally I was fed up with the shit, and someone came to me and said, "Hey, we need an advertisement for underwear," with a smirk on his face. We were working for Catholic Community Services at the time, helping the poor and immigrants and all that good stuff.

So, I cocked my head to one side and said, "YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT?" I was fed up, "I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO LISTEN TO YOU ANYMORE!"

"No, seriously, we need it."

"Oh, yeah, right, like you needed X and Y and Z."

"No, this time we really do need it," (smirk and laugh).

"I'm not doing it until the boss tells me I have to."

Boss comes over, and bitches, asking, "WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT YOUNG LADY???? WE NEED A CAMPAIGN FOR UNDERWEAR FOR THE POOR AND I HEAR YOU DON'T WANT TO DO YOUR JOB???"

I was flustered. I couldn't really speak, and I was so upset, that I just hid in the back room for a while doing the stupid, dumb ass underwear campaign, grumbling to myself and fighting back tears. WHY THE HELL DIDN'T ANYONE GET IT? I was fluent in three languages, I was good at my job, and they treated me like SHIT.

After they realized that everyone pretty much couldn't stand me, they put me downstairs in the office doing busy work. :shock: I never really fit in ANYWHERE in that STUPID country.
 
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