I'm not sure which types are most likely to have anorexia...
I know I'm an ENF for sure, so I thought I could post this here.
I'm a recovering anorexic. My husband wants no part in supporting through this...except paying for a nutritionist once every 2 months and a therapist.
I can't afford support groups.
I've been anorexic since I was abused when I was really young...
I'm having a really hard time right now. For the first time in my life, I'm almost at a normal weight. I'm not binging on sugar or starving myself! And now all the emotions are here!! And I can't stop crying. Hubby is going on a bike trip without me. We used to be religious Jews...and we're still part of the community (they're our clients for our business!) so I have to follow all of the rules publicly. This means no leaving the house (they don't drive) Friday sundown till Sat sundown. Btw, I think he NEEDS this trip I encouraged him to take it. And I feel guilty for feeling the way I do. I want him to go and have a good time...I just don't want to feel this way...
My husband is a 5w4 on the enneagram (don't know his MBTI type yet), and so he feels a lot but doesn't express it and pushes it away a lot. Lately our business is picking up (which is great...it's an artistic business we're trying to make work out full time...he works full time in a different profession in the meantime), but our lives are so busy! Especially as he is s 5...he's very preoccupied in his head with everything going on. This is very difficult for me...especially now that I can't just numb out my feelings and fears, etc. No more starving myself!!
I called my therapist but she never calls me back and she never seems to have openings in her schedule if I ever call for a last minute appointment. (I know I need support...which is why I'm posting here!) I think I'm doing a great job at recovery...
My husband doesn't seem to think it's happening fast enough, my recovery. I have nightmares that he's going to leave me. I have been reassured he will not, especially after 7 years together! But I'm soo scared right now! Why should he WANT me? I'm very emotional. I have issues. He hates that I can go from being happy to crying because of something he says (maybe my prolem is that I believ I have to earn his love and be perfect to get it?)
I just need to know that it's all in my head. That my mind/my OCD is getting the better of me. he isn't leaving. He may be frustrated that I'm not recovered....but it doesn't mean he doesn't love me or he's gonna leave.
I hate being such a scaredy six!! I need to go to my nine space and have some faith! Any suggestions?
Also...what would you do if you were cooped up at home, alone, and scared (I get scared of being abused again at night...)? Unfortunately, we moved here for the religious community and we never made friendships there...and now we're in a city where we have no friends!
Thanks if you've read all of this ((hugs))
P.S. If you have anorexia and are recovering/in recovery I would love your support!! Feel free to PM me, that would be great! I'm proud of my recovery...but it would sure help to have some friends who have been there! :-)