What you should strive for is share some information in a way where you don't say much at all or actually clarify taking either side. Either that or say that you may know a few things, but don't feel comfortable sharing and feel it would be better if they discuss it themselves.
The disconnect in my situation is my friend having no input aside from some noises or sighing. It weighs heavily on her, but sometimes any input is good/necessary, instead of acting like there's no problem at all.
ENFJ vulnerability is a weird creature. A person we are truly close to and who has a hold over a part of our core is someone we will withdraw from in certain circumstances. If the ENFJ has a problem that could offend the INTJ, he might be holding back due to the repercussion of bringing it up.