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  1. #1
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    Default Some help from NF's, please?

    Hi!
    I was wondering if, since I'm fairly sure I'm an NF rather than the INTp/(socionic)INTj, if some other NF's would be able to... I don't know. Assist me on my path of discovery.
    I'm near absolutely sure of my Ne-- I can't sense for beans. I won't eat unless reminded, and often I won't use the restroom until I'd be doomed not to-- even then I sometimes forget and manage to wait out another hour or five. I'll often hurt myself and not even realize. My Ne is extremely present.
    However, whether I'm a feeler or a thinker is something I personally can't come to terms with even though the others I know who have been practicing typology longer than me have come to the conclusion. I know their original typing of me, however, was apparently based on my VI, and now it stays the same.
    My BF, who is adamant about me being a thinker, blames everything I bring up as evidence to being a feeler on my really strong 9 enneagram type. ((I am one of the nine-iest of nines, apparently)). I still really feel like he is wrong about that.
    Also, I just stopped by the NFp How do you read? and the You know you're an infp if threads, and I am in tune with the things I read as well as really, really surprised to know that I'm not the only backwards test taker and spot reader.
    Is there anyway to... I dunno, maybe through questioning me or just talking to me to help me figure this out?

  2. #2
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    In socionics, VI typing is by far the most flimsy and ridiculous aspect of the model. To be perfectly honest, I'd ignore it.

    It seems like you're down to Ti vs. Fi, and sometimes it can be hard to discern the difference. Fi is going to be far more concerned with personal values, their authenticity, their truth than with a more impersonal detachment that evaluates on systematic and guiding rules, principles, and laws like Ti does.

    The Ti user will have some problems expressing emotionality, generally find difficulty in connecting with people and groups, and have difficulty accepting more social "feely" justifications for doing things. While the Fi user will have some problems organizing and scheduling their world toward more impersonal objectives and goals, and have difficulty accepting situations on more sequential, logical, "robot-like" premises.

    To be honest I'm not the best 'splainer of things



  3. #3
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    JockTheMotie- So far, you've been the most willing to help so far! So, I'll take any help you'll give me.
    I seem to identify with traits of both Fi and Ti.
    I abhor the idea of lying, and even when I tell a white lie, the amount of terrible I feel concerning it is enough to always make me turn around and tell the truth. I'm a strong believer in respecting people's rights and properties, and I sort of think nothing should be assumed. I don't judge people, per se-- I will see them, and think particular thoughts, but I can't make a judgement of who they are as a person until I meet them. Often, I will be caught in a joke of "oh that person is trash because they look such and such a way", but whether I agree to the joke, or worse am the one who said the joke, I'm always left feeling a bit hollowed out inside because it hurts me that I would even say that.
    I can't organize or schedule well at all, but I often try since it is a little relieving to my 9 to be able to approach people and say "Well, I've come up with an idea, now no one will be bored!" And no one is bored, and no one complains and that I like.
    I think, perhaps, the strangest of things is when my Te boyfriend explains things that are "right" to me. Since he is gifted with his Te, he can give me all the cold hard facts one by one, and say "you see?" And I will go "Yes, I see. But that's just not how I feel about the situation. I see that you can explain exactly why you feel that way, and your feeling is a lot more justified than mine. But... it just doesn't work that way in my mind."
    I don't know whether that would be my Ti just.. misunderstanding his Te, or Fi being able to see Te, but Te not being able to change the feelings Fi feels.

    I do sort of have trouble connecting in a group, and for that reason I prefer more intimate situations. One on one or two on one is the easiest way to cope. It means less people for me to keep happy... a smaller environment even, so there is less struggle to avoid conflict and everything.

    I don't know if this as anything to do with my type, but I'm always trying to be the best person I can be. Lying hurts me, and being a hypocrite about anything makes me want to punch myself in the face. I've often been told I'm a great person, but I can't see it because I'm too busy wanting to be better. If I've said something that someone else believes is a lie-- and I feel it wasn't, then I get really really upset that my value has been taken away in their eyes. I find it insulting to the human kind as a whole when people do not react in the way I feel is fit for a given situation, even as small as holding a door for someone. Again, I get just as angry at myself when I fail to do these things.
    Also, when someone has wronged me, I have an insatiable need for them to apologize. Even if they've something cruel in anger to me, even if the anger is rightly deserved, if they are no longer angry they should apologize for hurting me. I know it does nothing to solve the situation, or anything to that effect, and it does not take away what they've done, but by simply recognizing that their actions were cruel or wrong I feel that they can be fully forgiven.

  4. #4
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Seems like you tend towards Fi to me! INFP is what I'd go with. You sort of remind me of Yvonne, another member here who had the same confusion with INTP/INFP. Your language is very similar, and she is INfP, I think is what she has now at least.



  5. #5
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    Thanks. I just found that what's my type board, so I'm going to post there too, hopefully get some more help. But I am sort of excited for someone to say I lean towards infp, because it makes me feel like I know myself well. =] Always something I worry about.

  6. #6
    Senior Member ilovereeses's Avatar
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    I'm thinking you're more INFP as well. I was INFP when I was younger, then became more extraverted. And what you just described sounds very similar to me too. I despised anyone who went against my own personal values (such as lying).

    I was actually thinking back to those days recently and wondering if I was in fact an INTP, but I realized that I felt too emotional and would seek connections with people constantly (INTPs have difficulty in that area). I did realize, though, that I have a low F. So that explains why I related to INTP so much.

    Hope that helps!
    eNFP 9w8 sx/sp

    ~Don't ignore the truth, it will set you free.

    ~10% of life is what happens to you, 90% of life is how you deal with it.

  7. #7
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    I possibly have low F as well. Your post is quite helpful. I don't make many connections though--- but I think that may be because I'm extremely introverted. I know that I will be instantly drawn to certain people, though, and I'm willing to approach them. I just fear myself and my own personality a little too much to approach people. I'm not so much afraid that they won't like me though so much as I'm afraid that my presence may upset them...

  8. #8
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chaolioe View Post
    I possibly have low F as well. Your post is quite helpful. I don't make many connections though--- but I think that may be because I'm extremely introverted. I know that I will be instantly drawn to certain people, though, and I'm willing to approach them. I just fear myself and my own personality a little too much to approach people. I'm not so much afraid that they won't like me though so much as I'm afraid that my presence may upset them...
    Yeah, the INTP difficulty is really that they just don't know what to do with people. As in, how one even cultivates connection in the first place. You seem far more protective of exposing your core self, personality, values, to someone who will not appreciate it, reject it, or maybe hurt you with it, which an INTP won't even think about worrying over for a while.

    You know how to do it, you seek deep connections, you're just highly selective with whom you go about making them with and you only need so many, it seems.



  9. #9
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    That sounds accurate. Often if someone does not 'threaten' me, I'll unsurely go about talking to them. I often start to smile and try to joke with new people who've approached me first.
    I'm told I don't understand when people or flirting, or how to not flirt back simply because I sort of assume any friendliness is genuine, and I'm not flirting, I'm just trying my best to be friendly.

  10. #10
    Senior Member ilovereeses's Avatar
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    Yeah, sounds like you're a very introverted INFP.

    You care so much about how people will react to you, because you genuinely love people in general and don't want to disturb them, right?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chaolioe View Post
    I'm told I don't understand when people or flirting, or how to not flirt back simply because I sort of assume any friendliness is genuine, and I'm not flirting, I'm just trying my best to be friendly.
    Haha, yeah. I never know when someone is flirting with me, I just assume they're being nice.
    eNFP 9w8 sx/sp

    ~Don't ignore the truth, it will set you free.

    ~10% of life is what happens to you, 90% of life is how you deal with it.

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