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  1. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chaolioe View Post
    I possibly have low F as well. Your post is quite helpful. I don't make many connections though--- but I think that may be because I'm extremely introverted. I know that I will be instantly drawn to certain people, though, and I'm willing to approach them. I just fear myself and my own personality a little too much to approach people. I'm not so much afraid that they won't like me though so much as I'm afraid that my presence may upset them...
    That's high Fi maybe. It sounds very NFP. You just have to decide if you are ENFP or INFP. How social you are isn't really a measure, more whether you're primarily an Ne or an Fi. How are you at having a conversation on five topics at once?
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by ilovereeses View Post
    You care so much about how people will react to you, because you genuinely love people in general and don't want to disturb them, right?
    I never really know why I do things.. so I couldn't agree to that, but I believe it is the reason. I just sort of want everyone to be happy. And if people aren't happy, I make it my goal to make them happy.
    I mean.. maybe this is just me being a moral person rather than infp, but here is an example:

    Today I was eating lunch in the dining hall by myself. I heard a few people start fussing, and I looked to see what the collective noise was concerning. Two men were trying to get into the dining hall to have a meal. At my school, it's$20 a meal if you are not on a meal plan, and I'm pretty sure you have to use cash. This bothered the men, but they began to look through their wallets to find the money. Without second thought, I walked over to them and used my meal plan flex passes (a part of your meal plan which allows you to dine with friends who do not have meal plans/ don't go to your school, etc.) to allow them to eat for free. This did not strike me as a big deal at all-- someone I knew from highschool even approached me later to tell me that my act put him in hysterics because apparently the two men were a priest and a rabbi and "of course" I'd "be the one to swipe them in" in his words.
    It put him in hysterics...
    Which is confusing to me, because in a room full of other people all with meal plans, I was the only one to approach them and swipe them in. I'm appalled that no one else would even consider it.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chaolioe View Post
    JockTheMotie- So far, you've been the most willing to help so far! So, I'll take any help you'll give me.
    I seem to identify with traits of both Fi and Ti.
    I abhor the idea of lying, and even when I tell a white lie, the amount of terrible I feel concerning it is enough to always make me turn around and tell the truth. I'm a strong believer in respecting people's rights and properties, and I sort of think nothing should be assumed. I don't judge people, per se-- I will see them, and think particular thoughts, but I can't make a judgement of who they are as a person until I meet them. Often, I will be caught in a joke of "oh that person is trash because they look such and such a way", but whether I agree to the joke, or worse am the one who said the joke, I'm always left feeling a bit hollowed out inside because it hurts me that I would even say that.
    I can't organize or schedule well at all, but I often try since it is a little relieving to my 9 to be able to approach people and say "Well, I've come up with an idea, now no one will be bored!" And no one is bored, and no one complains and that I like.
    I think, perhaps, the strangest of things is when my Te boyfriend explains things that are "right" to me. Since he is gifted with his Te, he can give me all the cold hard facts one by one, and say "you see?" And I will go "Yes, I see. But that's just not how I feel about the situation. I see that you can explain exactly why you feel that way, and your feeling is a lot more justified than mine. But... it just doesn't work that way in my mind."
    I don't know whether that would be my Ti just.. misunderstanding his Te, or Fi being able to see Te, but Te not being able to change the feelings Fi feels.

    I do sort of have trouble connecting in a group, and for that reason I prefer more intimate situations. One on one or two on one is the easiest way to cope. It means less people for me to keep happy... a smaller environment even, so there is less struggle to avoid conflict and everything.

    I don't know if this as anything to do with my type, but I'm always trying to be the best person I can be. Lying hurts me, and being a hypocrite about anything makes me want to punch myself in the face. I've often been told I'm a great person, but I can't see it because I'm too busy wanting to be better. If I've said something that someone else believes is a lie-- and I feel it wasn't, then I get really really upset that my value has been taken away in their eyes. I find it insulting to the human kind as a whole when people do not react in the way I feel is fit for a given situation, even as small as holding a door for someone. Again, I get just as angry at myself when I fail to do these things.
    Also, when someone has wronged me, I have an insatiable need for them to apologize. Even if they've something cruel in anger to me, even if the anger is rightly deserved, if they are no longer angry they should apologize for hurting me. I know it does nothing to solve the situation, or anything to that effect, and it does not take away what they've done, but by simply recognizing that their actions were cruel or wrong I feel that they can be fully forgiven.
    I'm not an expert, but the bolded things sound like Fe to me. A Fi user would probably be too preoccupied with brooding about expressions of authenticity (do I even truly *feel* like holding that door or wouldn't I be sucking up to others to obtain favors jadda jadda...) to even notice there's a door to be held...

    I'd contemplate ENTP for you. That'll make Fe your tertiary, thus a pretty black and white function that can feel 'childishly' sure about the rules it has rather than creating or investigating them (like Fe dom and aux might). I don't know how introverted you are, but your powerful Ne points to ENTP too.

    For many years I had an ENTP best friend and we got along great. One of the most obvious difference between us was sensuality. She didn't really like hugging people, sex was kinda controlled and problematic and she even kept her boyfriends secret to me for several months out of some - to me surprising - sense of shyness or privacy. An ENFP would generally be much more passionate and spontaneous. (Too much so, at times... )

    She also had a tendency to be confused about or repress her own feelings, and it took her a very long time to even find out what she felt. Acting on it would easily take one more year. It was like she tried to calculate what she 'ought' to feel, and then pursuaded herself to feel that, being quilty if some other feelings surfaced. She was very intelligent, active and popular, but sometimes she had these major, unsolvable conflicts, satiated with misunderstandings and unsaid expectations, making her cut out a friend or family member. Happened to me too two years ago, unfortunately. That would be untypical for ENFP. I've been an ass, surely, and I've lost contact to friends due to being thoughtless and running selfcentered after the next shiny person, but not due to week long discussions about who is right and wrong, who apologise and not. I think that 'competitiveness' and sense of social rights and wrongs would be more Ne-Ti-Fe than Ne-Fi-Te.



    But: Each type has weaknesses and strenghts and I don't know whether the sense of risk and lack of control she felt about her body and her feelings were type-related or expressed some more personal struggle.

    How do you feel about your body, sex and understanding and trusting you feelings?

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chaolioe View Post
    Hi!
    I was wondering if, since I'm fairly sure I'm an NF rather than the INTp/(socionic)INTj, if some other NF's would be able to... I don't know. Assist me on my path of discovery.
    I'm near absolutely sure of my Ne-- I can't sense for beans. I won't eat unless reminded, and often I won't use the restroom until I'd be doomed not to-- even then I sometimes forget and manage to wait out another hour or five. I'll often hurt myself and not even realize. My Ne is extremely present.
    Wow, you're much more N than I am. I can't imagine being that out of touch with my body. You must be like 90% N!



    However, whether I'm a feeler or a thinker is something I personally can't come to terms with even though the others I know who have been practicing typology longer than me have come to the conclusion. I know their original typing of me, however, was apparently based on my VI, and now it stays the same.
    My BF, who is adamant about me being a thinker, blames everything I bring up as evidence to being a feeler on my really strong 9 enneagram type. ((I am one of the nine-iest of nines, apparently)). I still really feel like he is wrong about that.
    Also, I just stopped by the NFp How do you read? and the You know you're an infp if threads, and I am in tune with the things I read as well as really, really surprised to know that I'm not the only backwards test taker and spot reader.
    Is there anyway to... I dunno, maybe through questioning me or just talking to me to help me figure this out?

    Based on your awareness of Ne and enneagram 9, I'm going to go with INFP.

  5. #15
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    I would agree with your door holding point, except I know that I'm not doing it to get favors from others. Most often when others do favors for me, I'm shocked but thank them. It is the favor for others (ex. holding the door) that i expect them to do. For some reason, I do not count myself in as one of those others.I will praise them more if I believe they aren't doing it for the praise-- which is probably odd.
    And, the way you describe an ENFp being too sensual perhaps as opposed to an ENTp being closed off about it sounds more like me. Again- I'm physical and friendly to a point where it seems I'm flirting with everything.

    The apologizing thing I can definitely see as FE though.

    About your last question- I will try to answer it with the most brevity and accuracy as I can. It's hard for me to put those things into words and it usually comes out sounding... difficult to understand, to say the least.

    Body- I'm not the biggest fan of my body. I feel pretty, not beautiful. I'm aware of the fact that I'm absolutely adorable though, and that makes me feel a lot better. I could live the rest of my life the way I look, but for health reasons a plenty, I feel it would be better to lose a pound or two. I'm clinically overweight, but not obese. Normally I'm just content to believe that my personality outweighs those flaws. And that's all that matters-- if a person is attracted to my personality, they are worth 1000x a person only interested in my body.

    sex- Is great. It's the closest you can be to a person, and without giving tmi, there is a point where you're just overwhelmed with a rush of things in your mind... and I always want to express all of them, but I never can. I've only ever had one partner, so maybe I can't answer this too well. I've fooled around with other people, all people that I felt I cared about-- it isn't really right in my opinion to fool around without some emotion involved. I've only had one partner, because prior to my current SO, no one could convince me that it wouldn't take away from my personal value. I valued my innocence a lot, especially since my childhood was rough and I felt like my virginity was the only thing I could hold on to from that. Then I was shown the light of how it wouldn't take away, and how it really was a special event, and that it wouldn't change anything. Now it's something I enjoy a lot. And want a lot. Like my istp step-father said of my enfp mom "she's not happy unless she gets it at least once". My boyfriend has agreed that applied to me as well-- though I don't get quite so grumpy as my mother does.

    understanding and trusting my feelings-- I don't always understand them, but I accept them and believe them. I trust them on the inside, but have tons and tons of difficulty putting them out into the open for others to see. Blame, perhaps, my childhood again since my mother, when I would come to her crying, would simply say that I should not cry over such things because I should not be upset. But.. I was upset. And she would never provide reason of why to not be upset other than, simply, because it was wrong to be so. Of course once I started hiding feelings from her, she'd ask why I wouldn't open up, and I would tell her the truth, and she would say "No I don't. That's not how I act." again shutting down how I felt in the given situation. With my current SO, I will ask before I begin to cry, mainly so he knows that I'm not trying to upset him with my tears but rather get something off my chest that I wouldn't otherwise. So, yes, I do trust my feelings, but I'm terrified to let other people know what they are because of that. I trust them, I was raised being told they're wrong though- that even having feelings was wrong... then what am I supposed to do?

  6. #16
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    Marmalade- Yeah. My N runs pretty rampant. When I do sense things, I can easily push them to the back of my mind, until my neurons send enough messages to my brain where I go "okay finnneee".
    Except with cold and hot. I can sense those well. I'm heat sensitive to the point where I get heat rash and have allergic reactions to hot water.

  7. #17
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    Also, perhaps to understand my holding the door example better, look a bit above at my dining hall story. Those are the sorts of instances I mean. And
    Noigmn- considering I accidentally over-looked your post as I struggled to attend to three others, I'm apparently not that good at that many conversations at once. Two is probably the most. If I'm texting, it can't be more than one because I can hardly ever even remember what I sent the last text if there was a delay. I tend not to think about my words. They just come out as vomit.

  8. #18
    Senior Member Heart&Brain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chaolioe View Post
    (...) I know that I'm not doing it to get favors from others. Most often when others do favors for me, I'm shocked but thank them. It is the favor for others (ex. holding the door) that i expect them to do. For some reason, I do not count myself in as one of those others. I will praise them more if I believe they aren't doing it for the praise-- which is probably odd.
    And, the way you describe an ENFp being too sensual perhaps as opposed to an ENTp being closed off about it sounds more like me. Again- I'm physical and friendly to a point where it seems I'm flirting with everything.
    (...)
    Body- I'm not the biggest fan of my body. I feel pretty, not beautiful. I'm aware of the fact that I'm absolutely adorable though, and that makes me feel a lot better. I could live the rest of my life the way I look, but for health reasons a plenty, I feel it would be better to lose a pound or two. I'm clinically overweight, but not obese. Normally I'm just content to believe that my personality outweighs those flaws. And that's all that matters-- if a person is attracted to my personality, they are worth 1000x a person only interested in my body.

    sex- Is great. It's the closest you can be to a person, and without giving tmi, there is a point where you're just overwhelmed with a rush of things in your mind... and I always want to express all of them, but I never can. (...)
    These things sound really NFP...

    Warm, non-ascetic, emotionally available, though conscious about own vulnerability too, principled, empathic and, I agree, a quite Fi-ish joy about seeing when people are being nice to others out of a personal sence of pride and satisfaction rather than expectation of a social reward or to flaunt a halo of martyre-dom. (no offence, Fe-s, it's a poor caricature, I know. You guys are much better to a LOT of important feeling stuff that'll pass unnoticed by a spacey Fi-head!)

    Extraverted or Introverted I haven't got an impression about from your posts. But I don't think that was what you were worried about either.

  9. #19
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    Thanks Heart!
    Yeah, introverted/extroverted I'm not so worried about.
    I think your use of the term martyr-dom is amusing though, considering my ENFJ (Fe, yes?) best friend (odd, perhaps?) has told me on many occasions to stop being such a Martyr. This is because she's seen me wear myself thin trying to please everyone. Which.. I don't know if that is Fi, or tertiary Fe if I am ENTP, or possibly (strongest supposition actually) my 9 enneagram type. Like I may have mentioned, my boyfriend blames the totality of my feeling qualities on my 9((If you don't know enneagram, this is briefly said of the nine-> Key Motivations: Want to create harmony in their environment, to avoid conflicts and tension, to preserve things as they are, to resist whatever would upset or disturb them.)).

    Perhaps some more, true insight, would be to say that my favorite quote is "It is through suffering that human beings become Angels".
    And one of my favorite books is Childhood's End because the true message is not to judge and fear the new and unusual but to embrace it and see what is capable of.

  10. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chaolioe View Post
    Noigmn- considering I accidentally over-looked your post as I struggled to attend to three others, I'm apparently not that good at that many conversations at once. Two is probably the most. If I'm texting, it can't be more than one because I can hardly ever even remember what I sent the last text if there was a delay. I tend not to think about my words. They just come out as vomit.
    Ahh, cool. I think that points toward INFP too. I'm not sure if it is the same for all ENFPs but I get sidetracked and discuss multiple topics at once, especially on MSN or any internet chat.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

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