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Thread: INFP fathers

  1. #11
    Resident Snot-Nose GZA's Avatar
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    INFP's are sensitive, but that doesn't mean spineless. I don't see why, as long as the person is reasonably confident in themselves, they wouldn't defend what they beleive is right (their values) with whatever it takes.

  2. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by deep rain View Post
    I'd really like to hear some experiences of INFP fathers, whether you are one, or know one.

    Examples...
    When your child is in a rut with another child, and let's say that the other child's father is an ESTx. Deeply caring for your children, you know that you'd be there to listen to them, spend much time with them, etc. But what if other fathers who are of the ESTx types get really aggressive or hard-charging because that's their way of defending their kids -- do you feel inferior in parenting in this way? Like you don't have the ability to stand up for your kids in front of an ESTx society while the ESTx world is in-your-face against you? Do you just walk away and ignore, and inside you secretly feel like you're not a good enough parent in the sense that you can't defend them "as much"?
    I'm an INFP mother, not sure that counts, but I would walk away and ignore him, not because I think I'm not good enough to confront him, but because I think the other parent is an idiot and not worthy of my time. I have the potential to be just as aggressive or worse (keep in mind Te is our inferior function).

  3. #13
    Mamma said knock you out Mempy's Avatar
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    I'm an INFP mother
    Oooh, I've spotted another! You get points just for being one.

    I have the potential to be just as aggressive or worse (keep in mind Te is our inferior function).
    Good point. People often don't realize that even in MBTI, everyone has two very different faces to their personality. If someone is an SF, they have an NT face underneath. For example an ESFP, whose function order is Se Fi Te Ni, seems SF on one side, and NT on the other. No one's devoid of complexity.

  4. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mempy View Post
    Oooh, I've spotted another! You get points just for being one.
    Thanks! You get points for giving me points!


    Good point. People often don't realize that even in MBTI, everyone has two very different faces to their personality. If someone is an SF, they have an NT face underneath. For example an ESFP, whose function order is Se Fi Te Ni, seems SF on one side, and NT on the other. No one's devoid of complexity.

    I failed to stand up for myself a few times, but not for my son. I'd guess someone messing with an INFP's child would definitely bring that Te in full force.

    (Hopefully not, after all parents can talk instead of aggravating the situation fighting over minor issues)

  5. #15
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    To quote my father: "there is only one way a person can hurt me and that's through my boys. You can hurt me, but don't hurt my boys."
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #16
    Senior Member Snowey1210's Avatar
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    I think it is a bit of a misconception that INFPs are a bit of a pushover when it comes to issues in the outside world. In this context I think that I'd be able to adopt a more ESTJ persona and deal with the issue. Fi simply makes me more passionate about things, it doesn't make me a doormat.

  7. #17
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    I have wondered whether to post my experiences here. I'm an INFP Father, but I didn't raise a son. I wondered what I would do if I had to defend my daughter, but our daughter was/is a strong willed very intuitive extrovert who hardly needed my defense.

    I remember growing up feeling weak and defenseless. I wasn't able to do a single chin up, and I wasn't very athletic or strong. I was always one of the last persons chosen when two people in the group was asked to choose members to form teams. I was rather uncoordinated.

    My approach to bullies was avoidance. I knew perfectly well what would have occurred if I had tried to win a fight with one of them. My Father said, "Stand up to them" but left out the part that explains how to accomplish this. Judo lessons might have been useful, or something to help me think I stood a snowflake's chance in hell of surviving if it came to blows.

    Back in the early 60's the attitude toward bullies was that they were just a fact of life, and a person simply needed to learn to stand up to them. It would have been unheard of for a parent to go to school to complain that the school administration needs to do something about the problem. I did try to complain to the assistant principal when I was middle school and he told me that I needed to gather my friends and go get back at them. Since I had no friends at the time that pretty much let me know I was on my own. Its interesting that my experience matches the reputation of male INFP-ness.

    But I am evidently an exception to the general rule. When I was 40 something a Doctor decided to do what I had been unable to get anyone else to do. He took an androgen blood level and declared from the result that I should have been receiving androgen supplements ever since adolescence. Oh well, such is life as they say.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandy View Post
    I know this is for INFP fathers (I don't know any personally)... however, as an INFP mother, I can't imagine that being a problem. I had no problems staunchly and aggressively defending my children (or any child who was bullied) in whatever situation with other extroverted/introverted parents. (For years, I was in the PTA board and finally, I had to pull them out completely - I couldn't stand the ignorance of the parents and some of the teachers). Grant it, when the boys got older (when I knew the boys would feel badly if I were to get involved), I would stand back and watch... but I would give my kids serious "go get 'em" talks.

    I'm sorry to hear about the experience of you and your father, deep rain. That's sad. (((hugs)))
    Sandy can you be my mother too ... My mother is an E like in american pathetic movies that acting artificially and i reach desperation.....I promise that i will shut up and be a good boy and early at home..No gf and parties.I promise i will read books and play with lego despite having 24 years old.
    Please please please...

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eve View Post
    I'm an INFP mother, not sure that counts, but I would walk away and ignore him, not because I think I'm not good enough to confront him, but because I think the other parent is an idiot and not worthy of my time. I have the potential to be just as aggressive or worse (keep in mind Te is our inferior function).
    I've discovered that you can't always make assumptions of what it is like for people of the opposite gender based upon your own experience, even of people who are your own type.

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