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  1. #81
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    Perhaps some questions to ask are:
    -Where do I find most energy from? (Internal/External, large crowds/small groups)?
    -How do I express myself?

    I know that when I first got my results from my career counselor, I felt ashamed, because of the preconceived stereotypes that come along with being ENFP, and at the same time, relieved, knowing that there are other weird people like me .. but, ask yourself, which feels more natural?

    Being ENFP- I also find myself craving the need to be out and about and connecting with people on varying levels in a collaborative way. It's the excitement that gives me energy.

    Maybe OP can reflect back on the times when you were younger and were less inhibited about being yourself, and not trying to define yourself according to societal norms? I know some psychologists argue that much of our personalities we form around age 6. We settle more into it by age 9 or 10. 6 is when we're less influenced by social pressures of conformity, and are more of our authentic/untainted selves. 9 is about the time when our hormones start to change, and when we're more influenced especially by our social roles/expectations as we begin to transition into our pre-teens. Maybe look at how you were like as a teenager as well? Then piece it all together with how you are now? Factor in other things such as culture/socioeconomic background. (Also, sometimes, it's beneficial to not get so bogged down by which box we fit in- sometimes our life situation can really make a difference- makes the journey enjoyable along the way). Just a thought. Listen to your self. Only you know yourself most.

  2. #82
    Senior Member lunalove's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    I hate parties-but yeah pounce on my coworkers after not having freinds around all weekend. Chat for ten minutes to five different people, then I can start work.

    I'm not so social that I would talk to 5 coworkers at once Maybe just one. I'd probably have one close friend I'd talk to...at least that's how I was n school. I'm beginning to think it's not about the social aspect so much as it about your energy and where you put it? Like, my husband is clearly an introvert. He would rather just be quiet in his own head. I would rather talk things out...

    Alone time is sacred. Funny sometimes I want to be around people-but not interact with them-like reading by myself in a bookstore.
    But parties-Yucky!! That's so interesting! So, you get energy from simply being around people...even if you aren't interacting with them?



    TOTALLY. I think I use so much Ne, that having to focus and interact can be exhausting. Then I need to hide away for a day. If it is a close friend it is great but anyone I would have to make an effort to interact with is bad. The worst thing I ever had to do was drive from Michigan to Texas with my ISTP mom-in-law. She talked the whole time about very specific details of very specific people-12 hours a day. It was like being beaten with a bat over and over again. At work, I train or give lectures. I really enjoy helping the customers, but by the end of the day my brain is empty. I need quiet time. Even with close friends, sometimes I find myself feeling drained after a while and I need a break. I just resonate too strongly with others and I find I need to recharge. Especially if it's a situation where I'm in giving mode (which is true for most of my relationships, now that I think about it--which is why I was thinking I might be NFJ), perhaps I just need to have new kinds of friendships? (sorry, thinking out loud....see, extrovert!!)



    This is really awesome Gromit-that description is amazing.



    I did this a lot when younger-I think many ENFPs do this. If someone around us acts differently we will see the change in the behavior-then we do the silly Ne thing where we go "Is it me? Did I do something? Are they mad at me?" 95% of the time, no it isnt me, so eventually I sort of just ignore that wierd little internal voice.
    I hate it!! I think I'm getting beter at my battle with the internal voice It's not easy though. Wonder why we do that??

  3. #83
    Senior Member lunalove's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I am familiar with enneagram. I believe the 6 type is not uncommon for ISxJs, so introverts can be one.

    Don't confuse dependency with extroversion either. Although, what you describe still sounds more extroverted to me.

    My ISFJ mom needs a lot of reinforcement and seeks approval, but she doesn't think aloud that much. It's more that her judgment is swayed by consensus.
    Thanks Orange Uing your definition of extrovert, I would have to say I'm extroverted. One letter down, three still to go My husband is an introvert, and I now see the difference between us. This is quite helpful! Maybe now, I can stop thinking he's upset with me when he goes inside his head...he's just being an introvert Thanks!!

  4. #84
    Senior Member lunalove's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aurel View Post
    Sometimes I think you are too nice to be ENFP! But I don't think INFPs are nice either, so there is that.
    Aurel, what about ENFP/INFP would you say isn't nice? Just curious, thanks

  5. #85
    Senior Member lunalove's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    haha! is having a quick temper an enfp thing? i know my dad did...just like me...he would have a 2-5 min lil bitch fest and then be all done and happy again...i'm the exact same.

    it really is kind of awful isn't it?
    Really? If I get angry, I take it out on myself...

  6. #86
    Senior Member lunalove's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gigi_xo View Post
    my extroversion also depends largely on my mood

    happy= very extroverted

    for example this weekend I met new friends and ran around campus drinking with them and holding their hands and claiming to be new girl soulmates forever


    but if I'm not chipper, I'll barely be able to converse with people I actually like. I'll suffer in my Fi or find someone I trust and love completely.

    but in the end, I do love interaction, and without it i get lonely/anxious. over interaction always energizes me, even if I dont THINK I'm in the mood for it.

    i assume thats sorta the difference? since our types seem so close
    Thanks Gigi, I'm giving this some thought...

  7. #87
    Senior Member lunalove's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niberrizbe25 View Post
    I dont think you should base the distiction between being an INFP and ENFP on your level of social interaction. After all there is a high digree of things that influence social saviness. Sure having external intuition can be like having an extra claf muscle, useful for running that marathon, but in reality a healthy internal feeling user can magnetize others with their values. I think the main factor there would be the coinfidence to act accordingly to ones own inpulses.
    On thing that I think diverges the INFP from the ENFP is how much they each are influeced by those they care about. The INFP will have a harder time waving away the expectations of others, while the ENFP, although more concerned about this than its thinking couterpart (ENTP,) will have an easier time acting accordingly to theitr own impulses. This can give the impression that the INFP is an impressionable pushover, but it only means that they are more genuienly touched by the opinions of others.

    If someone has an expectation of me, most of my life I have put that above all else...the exception being if something I believe in is being threatened.

    Also the ENFP will have an easier time getting past emotional injuries; they live in a world of Ne possibilities and dont like to be anchored by resentment. INFP on the other hand will be more likely to play the issue in their minds over and over again until they can make sense of their emotional turmoil. So the INFP are more likely to digest their unpleasant feelings, while the ENFP is more likely to vomit them.

    If I am criticized, it feels like death. Is that INFP, or some other personality altogether (I am flirting with ENFJ)

    Either way both types are great! Some of the most genuine people you will ever meet. always happy to meet more ENFPs and INFPs!
    You have very positive energy!! Thanks for the info!

  8. #88
    Senior Member lunalove's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Eh.... Fi is pretty individualistic. I think autonomy is pretty important to most Fi-doms. An INFP will respect your opinions & not always find it necessary to assert their own, but that doesn't mean they agree with you or are influenced by you.
    Will INFPs or ENFPs assert their own opinions if they feel their values are being threatened?

  9. #89
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lunalove View Post
    Really? If I get angry, I take it out on myself...
    yes unfortunately...i'm not proud of it...but yes...something like...fuck you you fucking prick you think you're so fucking blah blah blah...but you're really just...blah blah blah...why don't you just blah blah blah and leave me the fuck alone! i told you blah blah blah and you know blah blah blah and you still did blah blah blah...and i don't fucking need it and i don't deserve it so fu! haha

    rare but yes in varying degrees of immaturity something like that..

    i'm also enneagram 7 and sx/so so that might not be as much an enfp thing as a 7 thing...who knows.

    i'm usually pretty emotionally mature...just saying...i have a quick temper
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  10. #90
    Senior Member lunalove's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kiddykat View Post
    Perhaps some questions to ask are:
    -Where do I find most energy from? (Internal/External, large crowds/small groups)?
    -How do I express myself?

    I am happiest in one on one situations. How do I express myself? I write in my journal, write music, use my face as a canvas with makeup, do abstract art, I use my clothes to represent a mood, or I talk things out with someone.

    I know that when I first got my results from my career counselor, I felt ashamed, because of the preconceived stereotypes that come along with being ENFP, and at the same time, relieved, knowing that there are other weird people like me .. but, ask yourself, which feels more natural? Thanks...still working on it

    Being ENFP- I also find myself craving the need to be out and about and connecting with people on varying levels in a collaborative way. It's the excitement that gives me energy.

    I like giving people compliments as a way to make their life better. I believe if someone is depressed and I say something nice to them, it could change their day (not me personally, but anyone). I think it's important to help people feel good about themselves. I build my relationships around this idea. I'm not sure I get energy from the people themselves, but rather from helping them. (I am not however an enneagram 2 as I do not share many of their traits.) I do feel the need to get the approval of others for everything, therefore I talk things out with others to make sure my decisions/actions will be ok with them. Displeasing someone feels like death...

    Maybe OP can reflect back on the times when you were younger and were less inhibited about being yourself, and not trying to define yourself according to societal norms? I know some psychologists argue that much of our personalities we form around age 6. We settle more into it by age 9 or 10. 6 is when we're less influenced by social pressures of conformity, and are more of our authentic/untainted selves. 9 is about the time when our hormones start to change, and when we're more influenced especially by our social roles/expectations as we begin to transition into our pre-teens. Maybe look at how you were like as a teenager as well? Then piece it all together with how you are now? Factor in other things such as culture/socioeconomic background. (Also, sometimes, it's beneficial to not get so bogged down by which box we fit in- sometimes our life situation can really make a difference- makes the journey enjoyable along the way). Just a thought. Listen to your self. Only you know yourself most.
    When I was a young kid, I was friends with the other kids in my school. My favorite time was spent with my guy friends making up fantasy worlds! I had a lot of fears. I loved helping other kids, and if someone was shy, I would make sure to help them feel included is possible. I would say that's still me...only now I fantasize without company and I don't feel that others as drawn to me as they were when I was a kid. However, now that I think about it, people sem to still be drawn to me in a "helper" sense...emotionally speaking. I'm not sure if that was the draw in childhood or not? I had a trauma at age 5 so I know that effected my development. Perhaps why my type feels confusing and I type NFJ/NFP...it's like there was me before and after traumatic events. (Any good books on type and early traumas?) Sorry to bring it up...I only mention it as it may pertain to my type. Thanks for the good advice! there are so many wonderful people on these boards...I only wish you were more "real" and "tangible" ((hugs)) back!

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