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  1. #21
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I'm very introverted and it would be very unusual for me to be confused with an extrovert. I think when I feel like I am being very outgoing, I seem "normal" to other people. It only feels exuberant to me. If I am really connected to the moment, then it has an intensity that can make others uncomfortable. I think an introvert may have a harder time balancing their energy - it comes out inconsistently.

    Since I was young, people have commented that I am very quiet, but those who get to know me well forget I am shy & would not call me "reserved". My childhood ENFP friend would get frustrated with me because she didn't see me as shy, so she thought my reluctance to interact with people was snobbishness.

    People exhaust me. Extended interaction for me can be anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours, depending on the intensity of it. If I can have moments of pause, then I can last longer, but after around 2 hours I tend to peter out.

    I have this feeling of being freed when leaving a social situation. Like, when I am in my car driving off, I feel excited to be alone again.

    I'm preoccupied with my own thoughts & exploring my inner world, and that's when I feel most at ease.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  2. #22
    Senior Member lunalove's Avatar
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    Orange, do you find that there is a difference between one-on-one and group interaction? Have people expressed how they see you when you've been in a social situation and you need space? How would you describe how you feel? I usually tune out. I've been told I seem bored...but I've come to realize I'm usually looking for the exit!

    It's confusing for me. My mom was an introvert and she didn't want me to be...and told me so outright as a child! I spent most of my life trying to be extroverted for her...I'm thinking I'm more introverted but it's tough to sort it out. (Hope that's not too much info!!) Thanks for your examples...they are helpful to me

  3. #23
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    ENFPs are more dependent on other people for our overall happiness, I think, even though we can seem introverted at times. I think Fi doms are much more self-sufficient in that regard although they're NFs.

    I think ENFPs are more likely to use Ne/Te and be bossy or confrontational, too, where as the INFP will be more passive-aggressive or withdraw.

  4. #24
    Senior Member lunalove's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    ENFPs are more dependent on other people for our overall happiness, I think, even though we can seem introverted at times. I think Fi doms are much more self-sufficient in that regard although they're NFs.

    Do you mean ENFP's need more interaction with people or approval from people (or both)?

    I think ENFPs are more likely to use Ne/Te and be bossy or confrontational, too, where as the INFP will be more passive-aggressive or withdraw.
    I am definitely one to withdraw! I'm not sure I'm passive-aggressive though...I'll have to watch myself for that! Thanks...

  5. #25
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lunalove View Post
    Orange, do you find that there is a difference between one-on-one and group interaction? Have people expressed how they see you when you've been in a social situation and you need space? How would you describe how you feel? I usually tune out. I've been told I seem bored...but I've come to realize I'm usually looking for the exit!
    Yes, I tend to feel less overwhelmed when one-on-one, but there are still many times I sink into quiet repose. I can be content to just be with someone, and not talk at all. Or I will get very intense in the conversation.

    In a group, I am very much a wallflower, and people often ask me if I am tired or unhappy. I just have to step back a bit, and as you say "tune out" in order to maintain sanity. I will come in & out of a conversation because I'll be half listening until something catches my attention. One-on-one, I listen more intently to the other person.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  6. #26
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lunalove View Post
    I don't mind talking to strangers in some cases. I definitely try to connect with my husband or a close friend's thoughts/feelings...I need a lot of approval. So socially I seem introverted, but if I'm close with someone, extroverted? Quite confusing....thanks for the info
    yea but for example if my enfp mom sees a cute dog in a train, she will most likely go talk to the owner and pet the dog. my infp friend would never do that, but if he had a dog i dont think that he would mind if someone would come talk to him and tell how cute his dog is etc. maybe some infps who were really much into dogs could do that in some cases, but starting to talk to strangers just doesent come so naturally to them. and my mom isnt even big dog enthusiast, but she likes cute animals generally

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    yea but for example if my enfp mom sees a cute dog in a train, she will most likely go talk to the owner and pet the dog. my infp friend would never do that, but if he had a dog i dont think that he would mind if someone would come talk to him and tell how cute his dog is etc. maybe some infps who were really much into dogs could do that in some cases, but starting to talk to strangers just doesent come so naturally to them
    yeah I tell strangers when I'm walking down the street that their dog is cute

  8. #28
    Senior Member lunalove's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Yes, I tend to feel less overwhelmed when one-on-one, but there are still many times I sink into quiet repose. I can be content to just be with someone, and not talk at all. Or I will get very intense in the conversation.

    Do people understand when you just get quiet? Do they start to think you're depressed? Or bored? Do you ever get almost manic with someone you're close to...kind o hyper and you'll just talk excitedly about something?

    In a group, I am very much a wallflower, and people often ask me if I am tired or unhappy. I just have to step back a bit, and as you say "tune out" in order to maintain sanity. I will come in & out of a conversation because I'll be half listening until something catches my attention. One-on-one, I listen more intently to the other person.
    So you do get the "you seem tired/unhappy" bit? It took me years to realize I was simply needing space...close friends seemed more in touch with it than I was I feel lost in groups. Sometimes I will connect with an individual and talk to them. Otherwise I kind of zone out and get very quiet. If I do say something, it's usually awkward and I feel pretty looney lol

  9. #29
    Senior Member lunalove's Avatar
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    INTP and Marmalade, I might go over to a dog owner to pet their dog. I might tell a cashier I like her necklace and ask where she got it. Is this exclusively an extroverted trait then?

  10. #30
    Senior Member boondocked's Avatar
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    I just lost a mini-manifesto written in reply to this thread!! ARRUGGGUGHHH!

    I'll coming back to rewrite it, though, because I love this topic! My brother is an INFP; we've talked a LOT about what makes us different and the same.

    I'LL BE BACK!


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