So this is actually a pretty serious thread for me-I'd really appreciate any thoughts you guys can give....
My Fi is kinda defunct. I dont use it often to connect with others and I shield it pretty heavily from the world.
I grew up in a fairly turbulent-although not physically abusive to me-household. Lots of yelling, fighting, spousal abuse, stepdads in and out all the time, moving all over the place when the rent was due. I guess when small they would find me hidden in places crying-under the bed, in closets, in dresser drawers. When very little I guess all of this chaos would overload the little bits of Fi processing capabilities that little Fi users come with. As soon as I was old enough-ie 4-I would escape outside and play alone.
By the time I was six I was able to totally quell and block emotion and pain-using Te I'd imagine or maybe an Fe shadow wall. I felt nothing, nothing upset me.
As I grew older my mom and sister would very often use emotional guilt to get me to help them-money, getting them out of jail or whatever. I call it "plucking the Fi strings"-making me mirror their emotional pain, so I would feel obligated to help them. So I learned to ignore their pain altogether. I learned to judge them, most other people, (and myself) pretty harshly with Te-did they act wisely, logically and did they learn from their own past mistakes? If no, then I did not help them or forgive them. And I felt no guilt at all. This is a real harsh worldview, especially for an ENFP.
I think I may be overly harsh on others sometimes, so I'd like to understand how to be more gentle in my evaluations of others, when it is okay to feel their pain vs when it is okay to ignore it and hold them responsible for what they have done....
How do you chose who to help?
How do you respond to emotional guilt from others?
How do you evaluate their own level of responsibility for their situations?
Do you find others trying to use your emotional sensitivity against you? Are they doing so intentionally or more subconsciously?
and any other thoughts or comments...thanks!