Depends on what you're discussing. Generally speaking, I think that it's way easier to ruffle an ENFJs feathers when you are rude and not politically correct etc and display a definite lack of interest in caring about others, whereas an ENFP will be way more easily offended if you attack who they are as a person and what they believe strongly in.
Likewise an ENFP will try to udnerstand why the person is rude, or not politcally correct or not caring about others, whereas the ENFJ will be more likely to calmly address the personal critiscisms as they often value how others see them for personal growth purposes, especially if those criticisms include values that are held high in that community.
I also personally think it might be easier to dismiss someone dissing your beliefs and who you are when you feel that you've got the entire community backing you up in what you believe and who you are, aka social protocol. For an ENFP it's a rocky road of individualism, causing you to sometimes self-doubt, making criticism that much more painful. At the same time the ENFP is way more likely to be curious as to why an individual is not believing in the same things they are (caring for others), or why they are rude, whereas an ENFJ will feel the urge to teach and defend the values held up by the community as important for the group.