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  1. #21
    Pumpernickel
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    ENFPs in my experience.

  2. #22
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    I often feel like I am shoving my hand in a garbage disposal when I go to work.

    I have to stand up and be firm and have a very tough skin to get things done. I always try and do what is the right thing, thus can appear very tough.

    But it makes people not like me which makes me sad.

    If I am emotionally connected to you then you can easily destroy me with just a few words though.

  3. #23
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    ENFJs tend to go on the offensive when they feel slighted, which gives the appearance of thicker skin.
    I would say this is also true, in my observation.

  4. #24
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    I don't think ENFJ and ENFP are similar enough to compare in such a way. I don't know many ENFJs though.

    I think it's cute to try to make it a competition for something that neither type is really interested in winning. Thick skin is not an NF goal unless you are jaded and even then you are focusing on something that isn't an inherent strength so you are wasting energy on it.
    Last edited by Laurie; 04-01-2010 at 10:25 PM. Reason: type is spelled "type" not "typoe"

  5. #25
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
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    Elaur makes a good point that neither type is usually interested in winning.

    In my experience when an ENFJ feels criticized (this is only with males because I only know ENFJ males) they stone wall and close up. They may ignore it or become so defensive that it is impossible for them to see your point.

    ENFPs tend to take things much more personally, HOWEVER, they also have to solve the problem. When someone criticizes them Ive noticed (at least with me and other ENFPs I know) they have to figure out why. ENFPs can become obsessed with fixing things if they have to do with people.

    So honestly? Neither. ENFJs clam up because they cant take it and ENFPs flip shit. Both take it personally. ENFJs just wont let you know they do. I agree with the OP that both types can stereotypically be "softer" that most other types. Not that I care, ENFP and ENFJs are my favorite types.

    This goes without saying that everyone is different etc etc... This was also not taking in personal experiences. Those I think factor WAY more into whether you have "thick skin" or not.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    I don't think ENFJ and ENFP are similar enough to compare in such a way. I don't know many ENFJs though.

    I think it's cute to try to make it a competition for something that neither typoe is really interested in winning. Thick skin is not an NF goal unless you are jaded and even then you are focusing on something that isn't an inherent strength so you are wasting energy on it.
    Thank you for telling me what my goals are.. I would be lost without you..
    and I guess I should also never try to strengthen my weakness because that would just be waste of energy ..
    I am glad I can now just stagnate for the rest of my life in the name of preserving my energy.. Brilliant!!!

  7. #27
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Perhaps an INFP goal/strength is to have thick skin, I haven't seen that as a goal in my INFP friends. Maybe I've missed that it is a drive for INFPs. Forgive me!

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    Perhaps an INFP goal/strength is to have thick skin, I haven't seen that as a goal in my INFP friends. Maybe I've missed that it is a drive for INFPs. Forgive me!
    I was speaking more in general ..I was just a bit surprised to hear someone say that something is inherent and to not waste energy on trying to improve something about yourself.
    I am under the impression that humans are not static and stuck but rather can grow, change and adapt.
    I thought this was the whole purpose of existence ..

    Obviously the areas in my life that I feel vulnerable are areas I am working on improving , if that means growing a thicker skin then I cannot see any amount of energy as being wasted if it will improve my self image and make me a stronger person.
    I don't think being an INFP has anything to do with it.

    The goal of every human should be growth ..no?

  9. #29
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    You assume that having a "thick skin" is growth. Dealing with things that hurt me in a productive way would be growth. Learning not to jump the gun when someone hurts me would be growth. A thicker skin is not, in my estimation, something to desire to have. One unique thing I see with NFs is that we let things "get" to us, that is a good thing as long as we learn how to deal with whatever "gets" to us.

    You may be missing that I spent many years trying to figure out the "final goal" of who I am "supposed" to be. I didn't do a very good job changing into anything else that people were appearing to value over ENFP traits and I'm learning that I need to work within my strengths and not try to accept someone else's definition of what I "should" be.

    I see the OP pulling some unnatural thing out of his butt and asking which type has it. It causes a competition between two types who really aren't built for it. It's not helpful in any way and makes it appear that "thick skin" is something to reach for. So I responded to it.

    Get a thicker skin already and get what I mean, don't take it as an affront to you, personally.

  10. #30
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    As much as ENFPs have allowed themselves to be consistently trolled by ENTPs about silly shit, I have my doubts about claims of thick skin.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

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