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  1. #121
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Easier said than done of course, but even slowing down enough to think all that can create enough distance between me and the cause. This process helps me and the more I do it, the more I find a certain level of peace internally. Some situations I can do it in 10 minutes, others may take months or years to work through this. I can tell you right now, focusing on anger, hurt, offense, frustration, and pain only makes things worse. That shit feeds upon itself, kinda like an Ouroboros.
    oooo, this is weird...but I have to feel that pain. I actually have to allow it time to process, even a few days. I will feel, feel, feel, pain or hurt in cycles. It cycles through anger a bit-but the pain is where the lesson gets learned?

    After a few days, suddenly my view will have shifted-not logically, but internally my emotionally mindset will differ. I think this may be new Fi rules/values being built. I can feel my emotional response being discordant in places and that as I allow myself to feel, my brain is sorting out the wrinkles. It feels like solving math problems using handfuls of pudding, WTF-but the final emotional answer trumps whatever Te logical answer I already had developed. Or I can logically understand something, but I still have to "feel" the answer, to be okay with it. Freaky weird.

    The trick-I cannot learn these emotional lessons by watching other people learn them like I can with Te. I seem to have to feel them myself.

  2. #122
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Was that comment in defense of your little kitty heart?
    No.

  3. #123
    Senior Member Ratsimoan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever_Jung View Post
    I am going to ignore this confusing dispute (Maybe it's not a dispute I dunno, it seems quasi-angry though) and just stick my thoughts in here.

    Well I would say ENFP's have thicker skin because ENFJ's leads with feeling and have inferior thinking. Also, I find it's harder to get at Fi and make them hurt. Fe would hear an insult and think: 'I am supposed to be insulted' and would probably be upset. I suppose, if you do hit the Fi where it hurts though, it REALLY hurts. But I still think Fi has thicker skin, ultimately. I also think ENFP's would let things go quicker with their inferior Si.
    So true, I tend to let things go quickly because I hate conflict and the nasty feeling it gives off. I don't know who has the thickest skin-enfj and enfp. But all I know is a person can't hurt me unless- I know you personally or you come at my values and beliefs. Like someone said on the thread, certain things might hurt enfp and not enfj and vs. All I know we're one of the sensitive types.
    [SIGPIC] [/SIGPIC]

    Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace."
    — Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar)

    "Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I’ve taken for granted."
    — Sylvia Plath

  4. #124
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Resurrection.

  5. #125
    Post-Humorously stalemate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Resurrection.
    How could you? This hurts...

  6. #126
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    well, for the easy answer, ENFJ.

    thing is, we both take it personally. we both get hurt and angry. but ENFJs protect themselves (and others) with walls of interpersonal removal. ENFPs don't; no Fe. we either open up or we fight back.

    chart - in general,

    if they think you are right in your criticism:
    • ENFJ will take it more rationally outwardly, but may hurt inside
    • ENFP will be more openly hurt/embarrassed

    if they think you are wrong in your criticism:
    • ENFJ will be condescending or give cold shoulder
    • ENFP will launch fiery argument

  7. #127
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    They are evenly non-thick skinned. They just show their hurt differently. From my experience, it's easy to tell when an ENFP is upset or hurt about something so it's easier to deal with issues right then and there. ENFJ's are better at hiding it and then they bring it up at a later event to discuss. So ENFJ's just seem to hold onto it for a longer period of time.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  8. #128
    Senior Member syndatha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post
    I'm not sure if it only pertains to me (other ENFJs, feel free to chime in), but i am not at all for political correctness, do not get insulted easily (or much at all), and can be extremely abrasive.

    It may be a 4w5 contribution or a situational thing.

    I'm a thin-skinned little bitch if there's a problem between myself and someone i genuinely care about, but apart from that i'm quite solid.
    Where do the other ENFs feel their subjective weak spots are?
    I think my weak spot has to do with not feeling competent. Apart from that, I'm pretty thick skinned.
    Last edited by syndatha; 03-17-2011 at 04:51 AM.
    I have no sense of humour.

  9. #129
    Senior Member HotpinkHeatwave's Avatar
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    ENFPs. We have Fi. We're not openly emotional.

    Personally, I am very thick-skinned. I'm hard to truly offend, and I can stand up for myself.

    all the ENFJs I know are overly emotional and dramatic as HELL. It seems as if something ALWAYS has to be wrong in their lives.

  10. #130
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    They are evenly non-thick skinned. They just show their hurt differently. From my experience, it's easy to tell when an ENFP is upset or hurt about something so it's easier to deal with issues right then and there. ENFJ's are better at hiding it and then they bring it up at a later event to discuss. So ENFJ's just seem to hold onto it for a longer period of time.
    I was going to post ENFJ when comparing my real life ENFJ and ENFP friends. But you're right. The ENFJ holds grudges and the issue will come out at a later date, in a sideways manner.

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