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  1. #11
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yvonne View Post
    i don't know. i feel defenseless. i mean, i am kind enough, but not as kind as i would like to be. i mean... that even though i feel like i have something in my heart that's valuable, it doesn't mean that it's for other people. now that i read that, probably doesn't make sense.
    It makes sense in a very introverted feeling way. Something I struggle with, my Fe is nuts, and wants to constantly do things to fix people and make people feel better so I can better understand my own feelings.

    Its not so bad right now that I have gotten myself back and centered and I am not using my talents for selfish reasons quite so much, but before that you would have called me an uber asshole because I used Fe like a weapon.
    Ground control to Major Tom

  2. #12
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yvonne View Post
    i don't know. i feel defenseless. i mean, i am kind enough, but not as kind as i would like to be. i mean... that even though i feel like i have something in my heart that's valuable, it doesn't mean that it's for other people. now that i read that, probably doesn't make sense.
    The selfishness part does sound like Fi and I don't mean selfishness in an inconsiderate way. The assumption here is that everyone is selfish and have their own self-interests. You feel that you have something you value but others might not share the same value.

    And you're not imposing your values on others, which is actually a good thing. Of course, it tends to make Fi-doms seem unassertive because they don't enjoy sharing their opinions if it feels like they are imposing their values on others.

    Example : I don't smoke but I'm not going to urge everyone I know to stop smoking because it offends my values or something. But blow smoke in my face or that of children too many times and watch me snap
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  3. #13
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by William K View Post
    The selfishness part does sound like Fi and I don't mean selfishness in an inconsiderate way. The assumption here is that everyone is selfish and have their own self-interests. You feel that you have something you value but others might not share the same value.

    And you're not imposing your values on others, which is actually a good thing. Of course, it tends to make Fi-doms seem unassertive because they don't enjoy sharing their opinions if it feels like they are imposing their values on others.

    Example : I don't smoke but I'm not going to urge everyone I know to stop smoking because it offends my values or something. But blow smoke in my face or that of children too many times and watch me snap
    Haaa true, my Fe makes me want to start up anti smoking campaigns!
    Ground control to Major Tom

  4. #14
    A passer by yvonne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by William K View Post
    The selfishness part does sound like Fi and I don't mean selfishness in an inconsiderate way. The assumption here is that everyone is selfish and have their own self-interests. You feel that you have something you value but others might not share the same value.

    they don't enjoy sharing their opinions if it feels like they are imposing their values on others.
    exactly! how could you understand that?

  5. #15
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yvonne View Post
    exactly! how could you understand that?
    Well, I'm a self-confessed Fi-Dom after all
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  6. #16
    Senior Member Virulence's Avatar
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    I got a $100 bill from a friend of mine for my birthday in 2006, when I lived in Arizona. I kept it in my wallet for a few weeks, and near Christmas (a day or two before or after, I don't recall, exactly) I decided I wanted to finally go spend it and buy myself something nice, but I had no idea what I wanted. I figured I'd go to the mall, browse around and find something. I left my apartment and took a different route than I normally would, walking to a different bus station so I wouldn't need to wait as long at the bus stop.

    On the way there, I encountered a middle-aged black man pushing a wheelchair with an aged, tired-looking white woman in it. They approached me, I said hello, and then the man proceeded to explain how they were recently evicted from their apartment after he lost his job and had a hard time finding a new one. They needed to stay in a hotel for one night, as they were going to fly to stay with family the next day, but they couldn't afford a room. He was very sincere, very stressed and he seemed very worried that they'd have to sleep out on the street for another night. There was a Holiday Inn a few blocks away, and I knew how much a room was since a friend of mine had stayed there once. He asked if I had anything to spare. I pulled out my wallet and looked inside - I had a twenty, a few smaller bills, and then the hundred dollar bill I had gotten as a gift. I pulled out the $100 bill and handed it to him. His face lit up with one of the brightest smiles I had ever seen, and he hugged me tightly, thanking me over and over. I said, "You're welcome. Merry Christmas," and then we went on our separate ways. I just went back to my apartment - I knew I had spent that money well, and gotten myself something nice, after all.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Lightyear's Avatar
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    Billy your story is beautiful.

  8. #18
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lightyear View Post
    Billy your story is beautiful.
    Thank you.

    Sadly there are complexities of emotion that language is not adequate enough to put across in a way that is understandable outside of my own head, but it has been an eye opening and breath taking thing to behold. I like spreading this story around too, the feedback i get from it is usually very very good.
    Ground control to Major Tom

  9. #19
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    I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum with things as such.

    If I see a panhandler, I'll ask them for a quarter. Explaining I want to get a candy bar, but a candy bar doesn't meet the minimum purchase requirement for a debit card. So there I am, leaning out the window of a Mercedes sports coupe asking for a quarter, so I can get a Mr. Goodbar.

    If I see one headed toward me on the street, I'll make up a cheesy story about needing a bus ticket. Being stranded ect. could you help me out with $75 bucks. Or suggest we should team up. Yeah, I'm going straight to hell.

    But I'm having a good time.

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