User Tag List

First 2345 Last

Results 31 to 40 of 43

  1. #31
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    thanks, but this is a terrible idea. sometimes you just gotta keep your mouth closed and handle things with kid gloves.
    I see. Does she get upset when her kid is being violent towards your kid and you say/do something about it in the moment or is she never there when it happens?

    my issue is that it's exhausting when you're introverted and like being left alone but your kids are more outgoing. i am taking them to music lessons this week to keep them entertained and my daughter is a girl scout which is awesome because she gets to socialize outside of school and loves it. my son is usually happy hanging out at home and my little one loves to play outside which does involve some interaction with others but i've found if i'm outside with a book that cancels out small talk from the neighbors. I'm not trying to sound like misery guts but I've tried to talk to my neighbors and all of them are conservative and religious and those topics seems to come up each time we speak so i'd rather not get into it since i am not either of those things. and let me be clear, i have no issues with people who have different beliefs than me but i expect them to treat me with the same respect and not push their beliefs on me.
    There's nothing wrong with not wanting to hanging out with people whom you don't share important interests or beliefs with.

  2. #32
    Senior Member Trentham's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    304

    Default

    In my experience, a lot of extroverts don't seem to understand/respect the introvert need for "personal sanctuary" (for lack of a better term). To them, things are always better when someone else is around, especially someone they consider a friend. They appear to assume that everyone is like that; some of us just need a little extra nudging which they're all too happy to provide.
    83% I 70% N 64% T 73% P | 5w4 sp/so/sx | Chaotic Good

  3. #33
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    I think it's interesting how nice people who truly want to be left alone end up being magnets for the most difficult and unsavory people. I think it's because difficult people simply want to take advantage of them because they think they'll have the time and patience to deal with them since they aren't too busy with other people.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Trentham's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    304

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I think it's because difficult people simply want to take advantage of them because they think they'll have the time and patience to deal with them since they aren't too busy with other people.
    I agree, I think that's part of it. Nice people also have a harder time saying no, and 'difficult people' tend to interpret the lack of an outright "no" as an implied "yes."
    83% I 70% N 64% T 73% P | 5w4 sp/so/sx | Chaotic Good

  5. #35
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    TIGR
    Enneagram
    3w4
    Socionics
    EII None
    Posts
    5,936

    Default

    I'm just not a rude person but I can be confrontational depending on the situation. In this case there's no need to be rude to my neighbor as she's done nothing wrong. What she's asking is not abnormal, she just wants a playmate for her son and she likes me.

    I recently asked my ENFP gym partner/friend why I see people differently to how others see them. She replied that most people are superficial and only scratch the surface, while you dig deeper and get to know the true them. I tend to over analyze people and likely frustrate myself to the point where I prefer to avoid them rather than deal with them. this neighbor for example makes weird faces and overreacts to little things. when i told her i home schooled our son for a year she took such pity on me like it was the end of the world. i said, "you're kidding right? you just survived lymphoma and you think my homeschooling for a year is terrible?" this woman almost didn't make it. we weren't friends then but got to know one another soon after. i have to admit i was pretty upset when i heard what she was going through and that she wasn't likely to survive. she has two children and as a mother of three myself i just couldn't imagine what that would be like for my kids to be without their mother. to me that was a tragedy while she reacts to what i consider little insignificant things. she did it last night when i told i wasn't feeling well. anyway i don't get it and don't think i ever will, so meh. lol

    i'm not without flaws myself but with me what you see is pretty much what you get. if i'm not in a great mood, i don't pretend to be in one. i don't say things for the sake of saying things or to convince myself life is perfect because it isn't. overall i am happy but i am also realistic. i just need to realize that some people need mantras to convince themselves life is peachy.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  6. #36
    Senior Member Trentham's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    304

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    I recently asked my ENFP gym partner/friend why I see people differently to how others see them. She replied that most people are superficial and only scratch the surface, while you dig deeper and get to know the true them. I tend to over analyze people and likely frustrate myself to the point where I prefer to avoid them rather than deal with them.
    83% I 70% N 64% T 73% P | 5w4 sp/so/sx | Chaotic Good

  7. #37
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    I'm just not a rude person but I can be confrontational depending on the situation. In this case there's no need to be rude to my neighbor as she's done nothing wrong. What she's asking is not abnormal, she just wants a playmate for her son and she likes me.

    I recently asked my ENFP gym partner/friend why I see people differently to how others see them. She replied that most people are superficial and only scratch the surface, while you dig deeper and get to know the true them. I tend to over analyze people and likely frustrate myself to the point where I prefer to avoid them rather than deal with them. this neighbor for example makes weird faces and overreacts to little things. when i told her i home schooled our son for a year she took such pity on me like it was the end of the world. i said, "you're kidding right? you just survived lymphoma and you think my homeschooling for a year is terrible?" this woman almost didn't make it. we weren't friends then but got to know one another soon after. i have to admit i was pretty upset when i heard what she was going through and that she wasn't likely to survive. she has two children and as a mother of three myself i just couldn't imagine what that would be like for my kids to be without their mother. to me that was a tragedy while she reacts to what i consider little insignificant things. she did it last night when i told i wasn't feeling well. anyway i don't get it and don't think i ever will, so meh. lol

    i'm not without flaws myself but with me what you see is pretty much what you get. if i'm not in a great mood, i don't pretend to be in one. i don't say things for the sake of saying things or to convince myself life is perfect because it isn't. overall i am happy but i am also realistic. i just need to realize that some people need mantras to convince themselves life is peachy.
    People often treat you in the way that they want to be treated. Perhaps she gives you pity because what she really wants is pity from you.

  8. #38
    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    4,128

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    I'm really happiest when I'm not being asked to do things for other people. Can't people just be self sufficient and not bother me? Sometimes I keep the curtain closed because I don't want to answer the door and I keep the ringer on the phone off because I hate the sound it makes because I know its someone who wants something! i guess what it boils down to is that I'm feeling selfish. I want my kids to be happy so I go out of my way to keep them involved with activities so they're aren't bored but when we're home I don't want to be bothered.

    can anyone relate to this?
    Quote Originally Posted by Trentham View Post
    In my experience, a lot of extroverts don't seem to understand/respect the introvert need for "personal sanctuary" (for lack of a better term). To them, things are always better when someone else is around, especially someone they consider a friend. They appear to assume that everyone is like that; some of us just need a little extra nudging which they're all too happy to provide.
    I can relate to this. Most time its not the people I choose to be around, like friends, and its not family because I can be frank with them. Its usually people who I am obliged to be accommodating towards.

    If I may get off on a tangent here, I will share a bit about when I most feel that my type clashes with other more extroverted types. In my case tension arises more because of the fact that I am territorial and need respite. As far as being territorial, I don't mean like a gang member. I mean that when I invite you into my space, in a way I'm inviting you into my private world. I have had rude people impose on me before and invade my space and take over without being polite or considerate and it really really infuriated me. Then if the rude guests are demanding my attention and I can't relax in my own place I feel overloaded. I don't accept pop-ins. Not to say that I am not inviting, I like to think I am a very good hostess. But simply I really need visits and things scheduled ahead of time and I need guests to have the courtesy not to impose. This makes me feel sorry that I can't be more easy-going and just lighten up. But I would never act that way to someone else, so I wonder why can't they be different. In the end I realize that it is our personalities. But like you, I just wish others would take a little notice and back off.
    the formless thing which gives things form!
    Found Forum Haiku Project


    Positive Spin | your feedback welcomed | Darker Criticism

  9. #39
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,827

    Default

    I tend to be very leery of accepting help because it has come back to bite me in the butt too many times. I'd rather limp along on my own or do without than accept help only to have it come back to me via the grapevine what a screw-up I am for needing help.

    I have a few friends that I will help when I can. We've been in some tight spots, so I have compassion when people are struggling, but like Jen, I can only do so much. If I take away from my family to give to someone and they use my time, money, energy irresponsibly, I'll resent it just like anyone else. So I try to prioritize and ration my resources carefully and with a busy family, there isn't a lot leftover.

    I know it's probably hypocritical and that I'm lazy and self-absorbed, but I've just got what I've got to work with.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  10. #40
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    I can't help but see this thread as "Harrassed by Extroverts in Vent!" which is kind of hilarious...

Similar Threads

  1. How are you being treated by men and women of different age (and why?)
    By UnitOfPopulation in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 08-29-2009, 03:01 PM
  2. Replies: 51
    Last Post: 06-27-2009, 07:02 PM
  3. Being energized by people - introverted/extroverted?
    By NewEra in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 03-30-2009, 11:18 PM
  4. Can the type functions be explained by neuroscience?
    By maerzhase in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 02-25-2009, 07:42 PM
  5. Replies: 11
    Last Post: 10-26-2007, 07:23 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO