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Thread: Need to Fi

  1. #1
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Default Need to Fi

    When I am with people I feel, i know what they feel, we all feel and flow through each other.

    When I am alone its not so easy... I feel but i cant figure out what, or how or why.

    Put someone emotional in front of me and I will map out what and why they feel the way they do. And yet I cannot do the same for myself.

    I feel like an emotional vampire.

    How do you develop Fi? What are some exercises?
    Ground control to Major Tom

  2. #2
    Glycerine
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    Think about YOUE OWN personal opinions on things (don't worry if it goes against society's or your friends' opinions). What do you think about abortion? About the death penalty? About the justice system? About religion? If someone makes you mad, think about why they made you mad. What are your fave foods and why? There are millions of other things to think about. Then think about how those things make YOU feel/think personally. Do YOU personally have those opinions or is it what you believe you SHOULD think? This is how I try to develop Fi through a Fe perspective.

    EDIT: I apologize that I am really oversimplifying Fi.

  3. #3
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    Think about YOUE OWN personal opinions on things (don't worry if it goes against society's or your friends' opinions). What do you think about abortion? About the death penalty? About the justice system? About religion? If someone makes you mad, think about why they made you mad. What are your fave foods and why? There are millions of other things to think about. Then think about how those things make YOU feel personally. This is how I try to develop Fi through a Fe perspective.
    Good points above. You might also want to try to link some of your smaller personal decisions to some form of "principle of life" you hold dear.

    For Example : I'm against the death penalty and I'm also a vegetarian because I respect human and animal life.

    Another use of Fi (to me at least) is to figure out what is important and what is not. You might also want to practice differentiating things that you need to Fi and those that you don't. Are there any values/causes you would literally die for to uphold?
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  4. #4
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Thats just the thing though. I don't have feelings about those things aside from what I have been told or taught or was raised to believe. But those aren't me. Are those kinds of beliefs thigns you come to know on your own or were they just instilled in you by your parents?

    I used to be against abortion, then i got my gf pregnant and she got one against my wishes, we stuck it out a bit longer but it didn't bother me very much. I used to be pro death penalty because I believe in tit for tat, but not really... I dont care either way really.

    The feelings I do have when I am on my own and nothing is polluting me with its own feelings are very very weak, they're very vague and hard to pin down. I will sit there and i might feel completely hopeless and sad and want to cry. But I cant explain why. I don't know where its coming from. They creep up on me.

    I can give you logical thoughts on all of those subjects based on whats best for all of us or based on what I believe is best for the future, but its not based in emotion.

    I am only every truly lucidly emotional when I am in the presence of other people usually.

    So if i sit here and try to figure out how I feel about abortion or the justice system, its going to be quite cool hearted and logical.
    Ground control to Major Tom

  5. #5
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Billy View Post
    Thats just the thing though. I don't have feelings about those things aside from what I have been told or taught or was raised to believe. But those aren't me. Are those kinds of beliefs thigns you come to know on your own or were they just instilled in you by your parents?

    I used to be against abortion, then i got my gf pregnant and she got one against my wishes, we stuck it out a bit longer but it didn't bother me very much. I used to be pro death penalty because I believe in tit for tat, but not really... I dont care either way really.

    The feelings I do have when I am on my own and nothing is polluting me with its own feelings are very very weak, they're very vague and hard to pin down. I will sit there and i might feel completely hopeless and sad and want to cry. But I cant explain why. I don't know where its coming from. They creep up on me.

    I can give you logical thoughts on all of those subjects based on whats best for all of us or based on what I believe is best for the future, but its not based in emotion.

    I am only every truly lucidly emotional when I am in the presence of other people usually.

    So if i sit here and try to figure out how I feel about abortion or the justice system, its going to be quite cool hearted and logical.

    This isn't necessarily bad. Fe is just very situational while Fi is more universal. I bet your real opinions will show up when you come up against sticky situations. For example, your gf got pregnant, had an abortion and you're not against abortion anymore. Being in the middle still means that you have an opinion. Unless you are committing heinous acts towards others or completely unaware about yourself and others, there is no real need to worry about this.

  6. #6
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    This is interesting.

    I am like you. I often feel very little in terms of emotion. Alone I can be quite cold and logical.

    However when with someone who is need, I feel very deeply.

    When I am alone, I am trying to learn to allow myself to have emotions, and then to observe and understand them. As my Fi guru once said, Fi is not feeling-it is a way to analyze feelings and make choices based upon them. Thus first you must feel, then develop Fi to understand those feelings?? I dont know how this last part goes honestly.

  7. #7
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    This isn't necessarily bad. Fe is just very situational while Fi is more universal. I bet your real opinions will show up when you come up against sticky situations. For example, your gf got pregnant, had an abortion and you're not against abortion anymore. Being in the middle still means that you have an opinion. Unless you are committing heinous acts towards others or completely unaware about yourself and others, there is no real need to worry about this.
    I am not worried per say, so much as I am annoyed by my lack of knowing where I stand on certain things. It seems as if my entire life I have to wait for someone else to decide things before I can latch on and run with it. Even in say relationships, I am very hands off and very you make the 1st move to show the interest so I can see where you stand and then I make my decisions based on that. Its not so bad if the lady I am courting has strong Fi and knows what she wants and if its me, that endears her to me and I then begin to develop feelings for her slowly. However again, this doesn't always mean the feelings will last or were mine. It is almost like I am emotionless at the core and if someone is willing to put feelings into me i am willing to reciprocate and learn them... but when they stop, I stop and I go on my way. No big deal.

    The only way I have a Fi moment is if they do something that violates my trust or the loyalty I give them. Cheating etc would explode me instantly so I got that one covered. I do not accept betrayal.

    But thats such an extreme thing, and most of that was probably just me watching my father betray my mother and seeing her cry constantly and me vowing never to be the same man. But I needed to run it through her pain before I could set it in stone for myself.

    Its annoying.
    Ground control to Major Tom

  8. #8
    Glycerine
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    I don't know what to tell you but I sometimes have that same problem too. It could explain my love-hate relationship w/ Fe, lol

  9. #9
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    I don't know what to tell you but I sometimes have that same problem too. It could explain my love-hate relationship w/ Fe, lol

    I have a love/hate thing with it too... I cant lie and say its bad, my Fe endears me to people. They come to me and open up to me and I listen intently and genuinely feel empathy for them. However... when do I get mine? ya know?

    Is there a way to develop those feelings? Thats why i'm trying to find out. People that are Fi dominant, do they come to conclusions on their own or is it learned? I could easily shadow other peoples beliefs and if feelings are just learned behaviors who is to say I cant chose my teacher?
    Ground control to Major Tom

  10. #10
    Glycerine
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    I really think you should message Udog or scottNdenver because they are a couple Fi-dom males that have an awesome grasp w/ Fi, are mentally healthy, and are a little older w/ experience. Plus, they seem to have the logical (analytical might be a better word) feeler vibe like you do.
    EDIT: I'm not implying Fi dom males aren't mentally sound.

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