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Thread: Need to Fi

  1. #41
    A passer by yvonne's Avatar
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    ^ yeah, i've noticed the consistency thing. they need you to make sense and be real and true... (don't suffer fools gladly)... i think we have a lot in common, INFPs and INTJs, as well. i'm oblivious when it comes to Ni, though. i will be gentle.

    i really appreciate their logic and confidence.

    i wish i could help you more with Fi... i suppose for me, as i'm not a strong F and i think still probably know Fe better... it's just taking the plunge... even though it might scare you to go there, exploring your feelings, it's like a revelation.

  2. #42
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    How does this work?
    Fe is extroverted feeling, I need other people for that to work, and through my connection with them I discover the nature of my own feelings, although at times it can also mask my feelings. Which in turn I figure out as things dont mesh, and then I kind of go, well thats not what I want/feel so I know what I DONT want/dont feel.
    Ground control to Major Tom

  3. #43
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    For me my maps and understanding are created through others. I enjoy this with this person. This person can get me to let go, this person can get my to open up, this person can create this drive in me, this person causes me to face my fears, this person can make me think. Its like a proxy.

    Quote Originally Posted by Billy View Post
    Fe is extroverted feeling, I need other people for that to work, and through my connection with them I discover the nature of my own feelings, although at times it can also mask my feelings. Which in turn I figure out as things dont mesh, and then I kind of go, well thats not what I want/feel so I know what I DONT want/dont feel.
    Maps and understanding of yourself? How much of the other person is part of the map?

    How would you define your "own feelings"? Are they still a function of Fe or do they wander into something more Fi-like?

  4. #44
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    Maps and understanding of yourself? How much of the other person is part of the map?

    How would you define your "own feelings"? Are they still a function of Fe or do they wander into something more Fi-like?
    When I hear Fe-people talking like this, I try to use Te as an analogy. It's a very incomplete analogy, but it's a start.

    With Te, we know what is true and isn't by verifying it with our world around us, all the time. So, analogously, Fe knows that "feelings are true" by verifying them with the world around, namely by interacting with others.

    That ends up sounding alien to Fi-ers like us, because our feelings seem to happen all by themselves, mostly unaffected by other people.

  5. #45
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Billy View Post
    When I am with people I feel, i know what they feel, we all feel and flow through each other.

    When I am alone its not so easy... I feel but i cant figure out what, or how or why.

    Put someone emotional in front of me and I will map out what and why they feel the way they do. And yet I cannot do the same for myself.

    I feel like an emotional vampire.

    How do you develop Fi? What are some exercises?
    Hi, Billy--

    I like Uumlau's lake metaphor. I would like to add to it, if I may. Take it for what you will.

    I think when we start out as Fe aux's, we are a depression in the ground with little water in us. Rivulets develop first, then streams, and finally rivers as love and interest in people expands, which is Fe. As we do this, our lake of Fi fills up, and when we take a moment to consider it, we realize that we have developed some very real ideals and values about things that we didn't start off with.

    I believe it is what we discover through our experiences with Fe, predominantly (to use typology lingo, not saying we just live in some sort of Ni/Fe box, of course), that turns into Fi; what we feel strongly about. I noticed I started having all these Fi cementations in my 20's and 30
    s. They resulted from the experiences I had dealing with people, my friends, and family, and acquaintances, etc. (Fe) If I discovered through Fe that my loved ones responded well to "x" behavior or treatment, over time I internalized "x" behavior or treatment, and attached deep meaning to it, as good or bad; how I felt about "x".

    In the beginning, (18-25) as you describe, I did not necessarily have any opinion about "x" behavior. My Fe endeavors and intentions led me to understand my core values.

    I think Fi doms have a lifetime of developing their core values, and judging behavior with them. But, for us, the fluid nature of Fe, combined with our Ni, gives us our core values, and this occurs over time.

    I wouldn't worry about 'developing' anything in MBTI terms. What if MBTI is wrong, totally wrong? *shudder* We really have very little understanding of how functions work in us and others. Just follow your intuition, and live your life as fully as possible, and when you are older, you will look back and be able to see how much you have grown.
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  6. #46
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    When I hear Fe-people talking like this, I try to use Te as an analogy. It's a very incomplete analogy, but it's a start.

    With Te, we know what is true and isn't by verifying it with our world around us, all the time. So, analogously, Fe knows that "feelings are true" by verifying them with the world around, namely by interacting with others.

    That ends up sounding alien to Fi-ers like us, because our feelings seem to happen all by themselves, mostly unaffected by other people.
    Yes, I agree, Te-Fe and Fi-Ti are useful analogies.

    That makes sense.

    I use interaction to gauge the other person's feelings and express mine, but in itself it doesn't alter the truth of my feelings. That's not to say that it can't make me happy or sad, it very much can, it just doesn't change the core feeling, it changes the way I feel about the core feeling, I guess.

  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    When I hear Fe-people talking like this, I try to use Te as an analogy. It's a very incomplete analogy, but it's a start.

    With Te, we know what is true and isn't by verifying it with our world around us, all the time. So, analogously, Fe knows that "feelings are true" by verifying them with the world around, namely by interacting with others.

    That ends up sounding alien to Fi-ers like us, because our feelings seem to happen all by themselves, mostly unaffected by other people.
    Fi from what I have seen is still affected by others, but you take control of it more then I think Fe does. My lake has always been full and I have not had to do much at all to fill it. This allows me to always live in the moment and enjoy life. I dont know what exactly it is I do, or what it is about others. My Fe categorization sucks in this manner. Somehow my lake is always full, the streams are always changing as people come and go into and out of my life. I really dont understand at all I would fall into the category of an ESTP that has never really had to learn how to find and/or maintain these streams.
    Im out, its been fun

  8. #48
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Billy View Post
    I am not worried per say, so much as I am annoyed by my lack of knowing where I stand on certain things.
    I guess if I think about it, at times I have been kind of *perplexed* at the fact that I don't have strong opinions/feelings about many things, but honestly I think it's more a case of my thinking I 'should' have a solid opinion on something. In reality, in recent years, I've kind of just accepted that I'm someone who, while I have solid core beliefs and thoughts on a handful of key things, for the majority of issues I simply don't have an unchanging belief: The nature of how I process things and view the world is such that I value my ability to change perspective. I also value the fact that when it comes to many topics, I don't feel I am in a position to have a solid opinion, because of the complexity of the issue and the fact that there are so many sides/perspectives.... the bigger the issue, the more data, etc, I'm going to be noncommital. I don't think that has to be inherently a BAD thing. So, there's that. Yes, there's a negative consequence to this tendency, but that's just one side of the coin. It has its positives as well.

    --------

    Re. feelings/emotions and recognizing/identifying them within yourself, I can't say I relate entirely to what you're describing, as I feel I now have a pretty solid handle on my emotional state and the why's behind my various emotions. It is probably due to the fact that I'm extremely analytical and am always trying to figure out the reasons for why I think or feel or react the way, and I especially like to 'solve' for any negative emotions I'm experiencing, and to effectively do so means really digging deeply and getting to the foundation/root problem. The first time I really plunged deeply into the self-analysis was my early or mid 20's, and it was prompted by a desire for working through some of my issues and problems that I was experiencing at the time. So, I dunno... I guess if you're wanting to improve your own emotional awareness start trying to ask 'why' and 'what' and all of those questions like that.... not the most pleasant process sometimes but I tend to do that.
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  9. #49
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    Maps and understanding of yourself? How much of the other person is part of the map?

    How would you define your "own feelings"? Are they still a function of Fe or do they wander into something more Fi-like?
    Think of my feelings like a game of battle ship.
    I dont know thier shape or size, and we gotta keep tossing out those little white pegs until we get a hit. Then we put a red one, and we keep going and guessing around them until we map them out. I need other players though to help me figure it out tho.
    Ground control to Major Tom

  10. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    I guess if I think about it, at times I have been kind of *perplexed* at the fact that I don't have strong opinions/feelings about many things, but honestly I think it's more a case of my thinking I 'should' have a solid opinion on something. In reality, in recent years, I've kind of just accepted that I'm someone who, while I have solid core beliefs and thoughts on a handful of key things, for the majority of issues I simply don't have an unchanging belief: The nature of how I process things and view the world is such that I value my ability to change perspective. I also value the fact that when it comes to many topics, I don't feel I am in a position to have a solid opinion, because of the complexity of the issue and the fact that there are so many sides/perspectives.... the bigger the issue, the more data, etc, I'm going to be noncommital. I don't think that has to be inherently a BAD thing. So, there's that. Yes, there's a negative consequence to this tendency, but that's just one side of the coin. It has its positives as well.

    --------

    Re. feelings/emotions and recognizing/identifying them within yourself, I can't say I relate entirely to what you're describing, as I feel I now have a pretty solid handle on my emotional state and the why's behind my various emotions. It is probably due to the fact that I'm extremely analytical and am always trying to figure out the reasons for why I think or feel or react the way, and I especially like to 'solve' for any negative emotions I'm experiencing, and to effectively do so means really digging deeply and getting to the foundation/root problem. The first time I really plunged deeply into the self-analysis was my early or mid 20's, and it was prompted by a desire for working through some of my issues and problems that I was experiencing at the time. So, I dunno... I guess if you're wanting to improve your own emotional awareness start trying to ask 'why' and 'what' and all of those questions like that.... not the most pleasant process sometimes but I tend to do that.
    Im out, its been fun

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