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Thread: Need to Fi

  1. #31
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yvonne View Post
    INTJs are a tough type for me to figure out. that's why i'm interested in their opinions, because i have no idea what goes on in their brain. it appears that they don't know what they're feeling, but maybe it's me who doesn't know what i'm feeling... i certainly have no idea what they're feeling. i might think i do... and i might even go on to say that i've been right a few times... but maybe i'm just wrong in reading them that way.

    i'm always on edge when interacting with them. i feel *responsible*. i don't know what it is. maybe i should just stay away from them. i don't want to pollute their lakes

    and then again... they can annoy me and intrique me, but i don't wanna mess them up!
    i find them incredibly intriguing, we come from the same place, Ni, which is really incredible because it makes my mental connection to them intense and powerful because we see things in the same light at our cores. We diverge from there though and those differences are good. For example my girl Meaghan, total INTJ, where I come up short in life, Te she is there to pick up my slack and help me accomplish my visions in a structured and realistic way in the real world. She is my anchor essentially to reality. On the other hand, she is almost entirely reality driven and sometimes she wont see ALL of the big picture, dont get me wrong she is massively intuitive, but she cant always draw the meaning from a situation, she can draw the logic from it, but maybe not the spiritual meanings, thats where I excel. So apart:

    Billy: Aloof, head in the clouds, too future oriented, very gooey emotionally, looking to smooth out all the rough edges of life and bring peace, meaning and harmony to all, but completely lacking in bringing peace to myself and making sure my day to day needs are met properly. Couldnt balance a checkbook if I tried, I give too much of my money away.

    Meaghan: Calculated precision, highly intelligent (she nailed a 1560 on her SATs, not that that makes her smart, she just understands systems and how things work logically) Its all backed by her intuition which gives her the answers, but she gets frustrated because she doesn't know how to deal with other people, when someone is crying she feels distressed because she is unequipped to deal with their problems unless they are anchored in reality, like money or some sort of physical needs problem. She tends to be a little self focused, and career focused because thats what she excels at, but she is a good person and she knows how, and why she feels the way she does. Even if she cannot express it well. She tends to be neurotic because of her Ni, but she handles it well.

    Meaghan + Billy = seriously powerful combination. Her strengths + my strengths = calculated precision and intellectual consistency with an understanding of emotional states and a powerful vision for harmonious improvement of the relationship. That we are both Ni dominated individuals allows us a great depth of understanding and seeing multiple possibilities from a shitload of angles.

    I need her Fi and Te to anchor me in place so I can utilize my Fe and Ti to keep us on track and to elevate us both in a healthy way. She takes care of the logical stuff, I nurture our relationship and challenge her to think more spiritually (read: not god or religion).

    I find her very very easy to read because she is very up front with who and what she is, this in turn makes me want to disclose my innermost-ness to her which helps me to figure out what it is I am feeling internally. (Fi)

    Basically we just trade Fi for Fe with each other.

    She sees through my bullshit too, no one else does, so I dont feel a need to protect myself because she just "gets it" even if she doesnt know what to do with it lol...

    Ah I dunno I am rambling now, LOVE INTJ's.
    Ground control to Major Tom

  2. #32
    A passer by yvonne's Avatar
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    i have no idea what you guys are talking about, lol. i always rely on my intuition with feelings and i think i usually get it right... at times i am blinded by my own feelings, but as i examine them, i usually manage to figure them out... to an extent, at least.

    i don't get it... if INTJs are so in touch with their own feelings, how can they be so blind to other people's? if their own feelings are so important to them, why aren't other people's?

    or are they, but they just don't show it? what is important to an INTJ?

    i am just trying to figure out how to get along with a friend.

  3. #33
    A passer by yvonne's Avatar
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    ok, i posted that before your responses, so i think i get it now.

    i just wish to know how i should be with an INTJ not to mess them up? if i feel like i intuively know what they are feeling, should i just keep it to myself and act accordingly?

    what do i do when i know an INTJ trusts me?

    how do i know that they know i love them?

  4. #34
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
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    Hahahah!

    This is kind of hijacking Billy's thread, but I'll answer anyway.

    Quote Originally Posted by yvonne View Post
    ok, i posted that before your responses, so i think i get it now.

    i just wish to know how i should be with an INTJ not to mess them up? if i feel like i intuively know what they are feeling, should i just keep it to myself and act accordingly?
    Be yourself.

    what do i do when i know an INTJ trusts me?
    Be yourself.
    how do i know that they know i love them?
    Tell him point blank that you love him. Rest assured that he will know (or rather, assume) that you love him, thereafter, absent any obvious changes (like leaving him).

  5. #35
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    Yeah, it's touch and go. The emotions are raw. Just be gentle. They're immune to everything emotional except that which they invite in.
    This is so true, and we're not used at all to operating the sluice gates to stay with the lake metaphor. Highly likely to result in flooding or a drained lake.

    Also - connection with inviting in vampires. :p

  6. #36
    A passer by yvonne's Avatar
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    hahah! yeah, i'm sorry for hijacking the thread billy!!

    i'm just afraid that i will hurt this person, but i'll try to be myself and keep my streams in check, haha.

    good luck with exploring your lake b.

  7. #37
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yvonne View Post
    i have no idea what you guys are talking about, lol. i always rely on my intuition with feelings and i think i usually get it right... at times i am blinded by my own feelings, but as i examine them, i usually manage to figure them out... to an extent, at least.

    i don't get it... if INTJs are so in touch with their own feelings, how can they be so blind to other people's? if their own feelings are so important to them, why aren't other people's?

    or are they, but they just don't show it? what is important to an INTJ?

    i am just trying to figure out how to get along with a friend.
    From what I have seen they value consistency of thought and actions over most stuff... also remember that my girl is still a girl... so she will probably be more emotionally inclined because of genetics, and social norms anyway. INTJ males I know tend to be a little more logical.

    I am not saying theyre in touch with thier emotions, im just saying that they tend to know what they want. For me thats a pretty major thing... I need to proxy what I want through other people.
    Ground control to Major Tom

  8. #38
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Billy View Post
    I need to proxy what I want through other people.
    How does this work?

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    How does this work?
    For me my maps and understanding are created through others. I enjoy this with this person. This person can get me to let go, this person can get my to open up, this person can create this drive in me, this person causes me to face my fears, this person can make me think. Its like a proxy.
    Im out, its been fun

  10. #40
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yvonne View Post
    ok, i posted that before your responses, so i think i get it now.

    i just wish to know how i should be with an INTJ not to mess them up? if i feel like i intuively know what they are feeling, should i just keep it to myself and act accordingly?

    what do i do when i know an INTJ trusts me?

    how do i know that they know i love them?
    Follow their actions. See what they do. If an INTJ doesnt want to be around you outside of circumstances they wont be. Thier actions speaks louder then words, and in turn I find that they accept actions over words better.

    Language is a monumental failure at conveying the complexities of emotion, sometimes only action will suffice.

    Knowing that, also realize that INTJs are introverts, they need space at times too.
    Ground control to Major Tom

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