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  1. #1
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
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    Default Broken hearted INFP?

    So one of my really good friends broke up with her boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. It was her first (and she thought only) serious boyfriend. It came out of left field and she called me after it happened. I picked her up, got her favorite ice cream, and let her cry on my shoulder for the rest of the night.

    I just finished taking her home for the night and my question is: is there anything else I can do for this INFP? Or is just being there and letting her vent the best thing?

    Just want to make sure I am providing as much help as I can.

  2. #2
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i don't know if infps work the same way...but for me dealing with it atm i just want to go out and have fun...but she may need a few weeks before she even feels like that...she may want to just talk and talk about all of the ways she feels...all of the dreams she's letting go...all the ways she wanted it to be and all the ways it wasn't...just lots of talking...getting feelings out...so just listen to her.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #3
    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    Awww! Okay that wasn't very masculine. Hmm, I meant to say: You're a helluva friend.

    I think you have the right idea, listening and validating is the best thing you can do. I actually don't want to feel happy when bad things happen, I want to feel what I feel and maybe even amplify or cultivate the emotions to get that catharsis. SO being a good listener and being understanding is huge. Maybe just spend time with them so they don't feel as lonely, hugging can help if that is acceptable within the terms of whatever your relationship with this girl is. Reassurance is nice if it sounds sincere. You're a good friend, at any rate!

  4. #4
    Junior Member Sauropsidian's Avatar
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    I can agree that I don't want to be happy either if something bad happens. Be there for her. Show that you care about her.
    4w5 sp/so/sx

  5. #5
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    right yeah...i meant talk first and then maybe in a month or so get out and do stuff with her.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  6. #6
    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    right yeah...i meant talk first and then maybe in a month or so get out and do stuff with her.
    Surrrrrrrrre you did. More like you were shocked into agreement by my astounding wisdom!

  7. #7
    is an ambi-turner BRMC117's Avatar
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    I don't know if she was the same but, most INFPs get vented on A LOT. That being said When she is ready and if she wants to let her vent for how ever long she wants. also I know when I am sad, I don't like for people to help me "get better" i kinda have to find it myself.
    "I put the fires out."
    "you made them worse."
    "worse...or better?"

  8. #8
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever_Jung View Post
    Surrrrrrrrre you did. More like you were shocked into agreement by my astounding wisdom!
    haha...don't argue with me! i'm going through the process too. it's important to talk and cry...then at some point talk and laugh.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  9. #9
    Senior Member WoodsWoman's Avatar
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    What has been my 'style': let me cry it out, once I begin to talk listen for feelings - if I'm not going there ask me about them, once I begin to try to come up with solutions/improvements ask if I want your ideas - once accepted then go for it. ---Really watch and make sure the feeling sorting happens before the fixing - there can be a temptation to avoid that bit if it's too painful

  10. #10
    A passer by yvonne's Avatar
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    you're a good friend, OP.

    i'm sure you'll find the right things to do by listening to your heart for me it's just important to know that someone is there, if i need them. i might want to talk for a while, cry to you, but then i might want to be alone to sort my head out. then i'd probably want to go out with a friend like you.

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