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  1. #41
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Salt n' pepper View Post
    i neeeeeeeed that rush of oxytocin! wish i didn't need people to provide it though.

    my mind will go to dark places if my partner does not touch me for a whole day. i will bite his hands off, and justify if it by saying: what! you don't seem like you need them anyway!
    Yeah, there is something about touch. Taste, smell go along with it for me.

    I am very particular about who touches me. There is an ESTJ I work with who tries to flirt with me by little touches all the time. It is so repulsively inside of my space. I dont want to incinerate the guy, but when you touch someone and they flinch away-well that is a sign.

    However for those I care about touch is everything. I feel compelled to reach out and touch them, their faces. For my baby the best thing is to bury my face in his neck or kiss his cheeks, not just for a second, but for a full deep moment of contact. I engulf him then let him go.

    Lovers-Ah I think touch may be how Fi communicates...

    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    I've spent most of my life thinking its 'wrong' to show affection to people. But it doesn't mean I didnt crave it.. pets were an excellent outlet for me. I think having pets in my life is a large part of why I'm functional now.
    This is very familiar. Growing up I did not like to be touched by people at all, thus animals were a source of physical affection. I remember burying my face into my horse's neck, feeling that warmth and strength.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sky is BLUE! View Post
    I'm always reminded of the Hug-Me-Pillows:

    My dream lover! Does he take out the trash too?

  2. #42
    Pose! Salt n' pepper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    Yeah, there is something about touch. Taste, smell go along with it for me.

    I am very particular about who touches me. There is an ESTJ I work with who tries to flirt with me by little touches all the time. It is so repulsively inside of my space. I dont want to incinerate the guy, but when you touch someone and they flinch away-well that is a sign.

    However for those I care about touch is everything. I feel compelled to reach out and touch them, their faces. For my baby the best thing is to bury my face in his neck or kiss his cheeks, not just for a second, but for a full deep moment of contact. I engulf him then let him go.

    Lovers-Ah I think touch may be how Fi communicates...
    could you back this up with more info? i'm interested.

    i know touch is soo important to me in a romantic relationship. It's my love language!!

  3. #43
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Salt n' pepper View Post
    could you back this up with more info? i'm interested.

    i know touch is soo important to me in a romantic relationship. It's my love language!!
    You know I dont have solid data on this. (And now I just looked at all my beautiful INFJ loves in this thread and by no means want to make any claims on Fe. Sorry, I only speak Fi, so Fe seems to have it's own story to tell!)

    For me? Well this is highly subjective-and likely TMI-but-When younger I met the world with a very defensive Te barrier-even with my ISTP spouse. There were moments were touch was nice but it did not form a core part or our relationship. Te doesnt feel open or honest the way I use it and I never trusted him with my emotions.

    EDITED to delete 5 am explicit content. (Do all ENFPs have a TMI problem?) In short touch=yummy=emo connectivity.

    But if you listen to the INTJs-touch is everything for them as well. It kept coming up in the ENFP-INTJ love thread awhile back. I would suggest that maybe the lower a cognitive function Fi is-tert or inferior-the harder it is to describe what it feels? Thus touch becomes more and more important in communicating that affection? Just my guesses though. Even with aux Fi, I can barely tell others how I feel-my throat closes up. But maybe it is Se too. I dont have that one, but it seems very important for the INTJs.

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    My dream lover! Does he take out the trash too?
    Unfortunately not, but hey, look at the bright side, it doesn't even create any trash! I mean, how cool is that!

  5. #45
    Senior Member mr.awesome's Avatar
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    i am extremely touchy feely. also in a non sexual way, i sorta get in peoples bubbles but i just learn to recognize whos bubbles i can violate without them being offended or wierded out :] trial and error kinda thing. haha
    my etsy Morphochroma

    I know you think I'm crazy,
    but most people they can't tell.

  6. #46
    Senior Member LindseyLadybug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vasilisa View Post
    Aw, Lindsey, I understand where you are coming from. I hope you find more dear people in your life who will be glad to give you hugs when you have the blues.

    I try to treat people how I want to be treated. So if someone lets me know they are sad, or if I can sense it, I ask if they need a hug. I know for a fact that people have been moved by it. This may work for you too, once people know you are pro-hug, they may repay you in kind.

    Thank you, Vasilisa! Me too.

    Yeah, if it's a close friend I'll ask if they need a hug or just put my hand on their shoulder. With any other person, it feels unnatural and awkward. You have a point though.
    "Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes...I fancy myself to be a 64-color box...I can only meet the 8-color boxes...I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation...so when I meet someone who's an 8-color type... I'm like, "Hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "Oh, you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "No - I want magenta!" -John Mayer

  7. #47
    Senior Member LindseyLadybug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synapse View Post
    Thanks Lindsey.

    I just don't get enough hugs, I understand where my reaction are from and am getting less guarded, hugging my friends in moderation who want to be hugged. I still get suspicious, over thinking why. The other day the human resource lady went up to me and congratulated me, wanting to hug me and saw I tensed up so instead she just rubbed my arm in a congratulatory way and left which felt good.
    You're welcome. If I don't know the other person well, I too get suspicious when they hug me. But I agree, even just a touch on the arm is comforting.
    "Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes...I fancy myself to be a 64-color box...I can only meet the 8-color boxes...I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation...so when I meet someone who's an 8-color type... I'm like, "Hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "Oh, you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "No - I want magenta!" -John Mayer

  8. #48
    Senior Member LindseyLadybug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thursday View Post
    Yes - It is a need like water and air that permeates every-other thought.
    How right you are, Thursday. Wish more people realized this.
    "Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes...I fancy myself to be a 64-color box...I can only meet the 8-color boxes...I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation...so when I meet someone who's an 8-color type... I'm like, "Hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "Oh, you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "No - I want magenta!" -John Mayer

  9. #49
    Senior Member LindseyLadybug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sky is BLUE! View Post
    I'm always reminded of the Hug-Me-Pillows:

    Haha! I have one of those back pillows with arm rests. It's not the same, but sometimes it helps.
    "Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes...I fancy myself to be a 64-color box...I can only meet the 8-color boxes...I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation...so when I meet someone who's an 8-color type... I'm like, "Hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "Oh, you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "No - I want magenta!" -John Mayer

  10. #50
    Senior Member LindseyLadybug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    I am very particular about who touches me. There is an ESTJ I work with who tries to flirt with me by little touches all the time. It is so repulsively inside of my space. I dont want to incinerate the guy, but when you touch someone and they flinch away-well that is a sign.
    Ugh! I hate it when people can't take a hint! If touch is one's love language, that kind of touching is all the more offensive.

    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    However for those I care about touch is everything. I feel compelled to reach out and touch them, their faces. For my baby the best thing is to bury my face in his neck or kiss his cheeks, not just for a second, but for a full deep moment of contact. I engulf him then let him go.
    Same here. It's like my words can't even begin to express how much I love those I hold dear. It's like a magnet. I just have to show it.
    "Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes...I fancy myself to be a 64-color box...I can only meet the 8-color boxes...I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation...so when I meet someone who's an 8-color type... I'm like, "Hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "Oh, you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "No - I want magenta!" -John Mayer

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