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Thread: Challenges of ISTJ and NF interactions, and advice...

  1. #11
    Head Pigeon Array Mad Hatter's Avatar
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    Nov 2009
    -1w sp/sx
    IOU Ni


    Quote Originally Posted by mwv6r View Post
    Hello, I'm curious about peoples' insights into ISTJ and NF interactions, specifically the challenges these types encounter in areas such as work, friendship, family, etc.
    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post
    ISTJ tactic (whether it be conscious or not) is to gnaw where a person is efficient.

    Apart from that - work is work. Friendship is friendship.
    You're there to do your job, not to make friends - and from what you've described, you're good at your job. And your ISTJ is their to do her job, not have her pet peeves with you.

    Criticism where criticism isn't due, even more if it's done on a personal, under-your-breath manner, is simply unprofessional.

    My advice is: If you have a group meeting, call her out on it. Wrest the initiative from her. Make it clear to her that this isn't the way professional people work together.
    Tell her that, if she has a problem with her, she should make it public. Or just stfu. If your personal relationship with your colleagues is as good as you have described it, make it clear that since she is the only one who has issues with you, maybe she should alter her perspective (though I can imagine she has made her mind up about you). On the other hand, one of the most important traits a team leader ought to have is to assess the merits of his or her team appropriately. Again, professionalism. If she is supposed to be effective, it's one of her duties to get that right.

    As it is now, things will likely not improve on their own. If she will become your leader, your chances of advancement won't be that good either way, if you publicly call her out on it or not. And compared to your SP, you're probably in a much better position since you have the respect of the other two SJs.
    Being passive-aggressive won't work. Chances are she will interpret it as another sign of your 'laziness'.

    And if that doesn't work or backfires, maybe you should apply for a transfer - if it's possible.

    -τὸ γὰρ γράμμα ἀποκτέννει, τὸ δὲ πνεῦμα ζῳοποιεῖ-

  2. #12
    Lungs & Lips Locked Array Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Dec 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by raz View Post
    I can't stand ENFJs
    Why so?

    Socionics indicates ISTJs and ENFPs to be conflicting. In reality, i think the ISTJ/ENFJ pairing may be worse.

    My rough thinking: The motivation and precision is dominant in both types, but has vastly different purposes and utilization.
    ENFPs are an immediate/initial put off for ISTJs, whereas ENFJs are a growing put off.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
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  3. #13
    Let's make this showy! Array raz's Avatar
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    Nov 2008


    I have an ENFJ sister that's my best friend. It's way too easy to piss her off. It's like walking a fine line. She has too many moral boundaries for my tastes.

  4. #14


    are these interactions frustrating because TJ's are the super logical ppl who always get in logical arguments with everything while NF's just want that harmony / creativeness to exist?

  5. #15
    Senior Member Array burymecloser's Avatar
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    Jan 2010


    Quote Originally Posted by raz View Post
    Talk to them. Get to know them. The difference between each function is like night and day. I have 35+ coworkers, yet 6 are NFs. I work retail and my workplace is littered with xxFJs. I only consider myself close to one of the INFJs because she's the one that I work with daily and we have the closest conversations with each other. I know all the others pretty well, well enough to type them.
    Again, you have a lot more confidence typing people than I do.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Array
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    Jan 2008


    You're working with a bully who tries to knock others down so that she will stand above them in the eyes of the bosses. Don't let it get out of hand. The fact that she might be destined to be your supervisor is all the more reason to teach her to respect you NOW before she actually have the authority to nit pick.

    Not long ago, a bossy coworker of mine muttered what sounded like "Jesus!" under his breath after I wasn't paying enough attention to his very long winded and unnecessary set of instructions. I calmly said "Can you repeat that? I didn't hear you." It was the last time I got that sort of behavior from him.

    A friend of mine was in a situation similar to yours where the old boys club teamed up and laid the blame on him for every little thing that went wrong. It escalated to the point where he ended up resigning because he could not take the stress.

    Most people don't like confrontations, but small actions now will prevent major ones in the future. I swear by this principle even when dealing with my bosses. It works incredibly well!

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