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  1. #1
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    Default How do u deal with romantic rejection?

    being nf and all? recluse urself or shout it out?

    romantic rejection vs. rejection in general

    just brainstorming

  2. #2
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Mostly I try to avoid allowing it to happen, usually by rejecting people faster than they can reject me.

    However if it does happen, whether romantically or not, I pretend to the world it hasn't bothered me, but I feel it quietly inside, and usually take it pretty personally. I just don't show it.
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  3. #3
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post

    However if it does happen, whether romantically or not, I pretend to the world it hasn't bothered me, but I feel it quietly inside, and usually take it pretty personally. I just don't show it.
    Pretty much this. A few close friends might hear a lot about it though, and worry about my sanity when months or years later I'm still kind of hung up on it.
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    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Grieve and cry for months in private, but keep it together in public.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
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  5. #5
    Kraken down on piracy Lux's Avatar
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    being nf and all? recluse urself or shout it out?
    I have the tendency to need more time to myself. Which is good, because I work everything out in my head. I may or may not talk about it. If I do talk about it, it is only with people I consider myself to be close with.

    romantic rejection vs. rejection in general
    They both hurt. I think it depends on how much you view your romantic relationship as your source of happiness, as to whether or not the romantic rejection would be worse.

    I have been rejected romantically and at the time it was utterly horrible, but it was easier for me to work out in my head rather than general rejection. The reason is because it obviously wasn't right for either partner, and it is best to not waste anymore time on a relationship that is not bringing happiness to one or both partners.

    General rejection is harder for me because I don't have that comforting thought of, "It was best that it ended because..." Instead it's more of a, "They didn't like you, there's nothing you can do about it." So the one I can attach reasons to, and then close the door on, is easier, for me personally. Another possibility is because general rejection happens more often than romantic rejection, so it is more prevalent in my mind.
    "It is not length of life, but depth of life." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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  6. #6
    Senior Member Eckhart's Avatar
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    Does it count as romantic rejection when you didn't yet reveal yourself to the other, but had slight hopes until the other eventually got together with someone else? So to say indirect and unknowing rejection?


    If not, I comment only on other rejection. Hurts a lot, devoured me much for the last many months, because it is quite hard rejection when you are basically left lonely. Life goes on though, and I am slowly getting along with it I think. I don't want to say I am over it, because I know my mood about it fluctuated already in the past.

    How I deal with it? Well, there is a switch between sadness, angryness, resignation and indifference. It is more inner feeling and other than writing here in these forums I don't talk about it much / not at all with others, but the general mood shows itself outwardly.

  7. #7
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    I've never experienced romantic rejection. You can't be romantically rejected if you have no romantic feelings to begin with. General rejection obviously sucks. Turning into a hermit is the way to go. The repercussions probably last for a lifetime.

  8. #8
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Pretty much this. A few close friends might hear a lot about it though, and worry about my sanity when months or years later I'm still kind of hung up on it.
    Same as.

    When I say I take it personally, I really do. It sort of impacts on me in confirming the things I think about myself anyway, so it stays with me. Which is why I always seek to reject first, to deny feelings or attraction or caring, and simply sever ties before they can do anything that I will have trouble shaking lol. Yay for BPD.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

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  9. #9
    A passer by yvonne's Avatar
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    it happens. you get tougher with age and learn to expect less. it's not a bad thing, either, if you keep a positive attitude towards life. people will hurt you and you will hurt others, but you're the one you're responsible for.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sky is BLUE! View Post
    I've never experienced romantic rejection. You can't be romantically rejected if you have no romantic feelings to begin with. General rejection obviously sucks. Turning into a hermit is the way to go. The repercussions probably last for a lifetime.
    Reading this post is sad ^^^^

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